Kalau saya ditakdirkan dapat anak perempuan, tolong ingatkan saya supaya saya ingatkan dia untuk mencari seorang suami that loves her more than she loves him.
I just don't want her to feel hurt.
Friday, September 27, 2013
Wednesday, September 25, 2013
bila keseorangan
it hasn't been easy.
I had to carry on with life as usual when Mr Sunshine left for Ganu. Once again, we are on a LDR. I hate it, tapi dah takdir, nak buat macam mana kan?
Now that he is not around, I have to do everything. Dulu pon memang i yang buat school runs, cook, clean, buat laundry and etc. But when he is around, he at least helps me wash the dishes, pick up the boys from babysitter kalau dia balik kerja awal, look after them (or more like layan karenah Aaron) so that I can have some time to mandi or cook. But now? Now, I sometimes cook while carrying Aaron. I bath with Aaron knocking on the door (tp ni dah less frequent, Alhamdullilah).
On top of that, I have to endure all this while being preggers.
Tapi hari ni or last night actually, I broke down. Just when I thought I am ok and maybe can survive this for another year, something happened.
Someone tried to break into my house. It was around 10pm and I was in bed, fiddling with my phone when I heard bunyi macam tingkap kena bukak, followed by some noise...macam bunyi my son main dengan periuk kinda sound. I knew that AA and AD are both asleep in their room opposite my room. I thought I was imagining things. Pastu, I pergi check and true enough, the window was opened!!! I immediately closed it and checked on my boys. Call Mr Sunshine and he told me to get the boys into our room and lock the door while he calls our neighbour.
Our neighbour came, and checked my house, tak ada apa. I was soooooooo scared and felt so helpless that I cried. tsk. That night, I slept with a lot of lights switched on.
Pagi tadi, my neighbour datang again to just have a look see since dah cerah and easier to tgk and true enough, dekat tingkap blakang (the boys bedroom) ada palm prints and also finger marks. tsk. Whoever it was must have tried to go in through the boys room as well tapi nasib baik, both windows which they tried tu, the grill jenis tak boleh buka.
Alhamdulillah, we are safe and sound. But, I am still traumatised with all this and I burst into tears when I think about it.
Honestly, I feel like I have had enough of LDR. :( It sucks. I hate having to be independent, brave, jadi my son's pillar of strength. Unless you are going through what I am going through, you won't even know how I feel. Its difficult. Nak kena protect your sons who are oblivious to what is happening when you yourself are scared to hell.
On top of all that, I really wish Mr Sunshine would come back tonight, to check up on me and give me a hug. But, I don't think he will. :(
I had to carry on with life as usual when Mr Sunshine left for Ganu. Once again, we are on a LDR. I hate it, tapi dah takdir, nak buat macam mana kan?
Now that he is not around, I have to do everything. Dulu pon memang i yang buat school runs, cook, clean, buat laundry and etc. But when he is around, he at least helps me wash the dishes, pick up the boys from babysitter kalau dia balik kerja awal, look after them (or more like layan karenah Aaron) so that I can have some time to mandi or cook. But now? Now, I sometimes cook while carrying Aaron. I bath with Aaron knocking on the door (tp ni dah less frequent, Alhamdullilah).
On top of that, I have to endure all this while being preggers.
Tapi hari ni or last night actually, I broke down. Just when I thought I am ok and maybe can survive this for another year, something happened.
Someone tried to break into my house. It was around 10pm and I was in bed, fiddling with my phone when I heard bunyi macam tingkap kena bukak, followed by some noise...macam bunyi my son main dengan periuk kinda sound. I knew that AA and AD are both asleep in their room opposite my room. I thought I was imagining things. Pastu, I pergi check and true enough, the window was opened!!! I immediately closed it and checked on my boys. Call Mr Sunshine and he told me to get the boys into our room and lock the door while he calls our neighbour.
Our neighbour came, and checked my house, tak ada apa. I was soooooooo scared and felt so helpless that I cried. tsk. That night, I slept with a lot of lights switched on.
Pagi tadi, my neighbour datang again to just have a look see since dah cerah and easier to tgk and true enough, dekat tingkap blakang (the boys bedroom) ada palm prints and also finger marks. tsk. Whoever it was must have tried to go in through the boys room as well tapi nasib baik, both windows which they tried tu, the grill jenis tak boleh buka.
Alhamdulillah, we are safe and sound. But, I am still traumatised with all this and I burst into tears when I think about it.
Honestly, I feel like I have had enough of LDR. :( It sucks. I hate having to be independent, brave, jadi my son's pillar of strength. Unless you are going through what I am going through, you won't even know how I feel. Its difficult. Nak kena protect your sons who are oblivious to what is happening when you yourself are scared to hell.
On top of all that, I really wish Mr Sunshine would come back tonight, to check up on me and give me a hug. But, I don't think he will. :(
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