new year

a lot of things happened last year. some, which i would like to cherish and some which i would love to forget. i was sick and hospitalised, found out about something that i wished i didnt know, went for my first holiday alone....hmm..

and this year...there are a lot of things to look forward to this year!!! firstly, would be my baby. next, i hope to finish writing during my confinement/summer break. i hope that everything would go on smoothly, and hopefully, dipermudahkan Allah, insyaAllah.

here is to a new beginning!!!

p/s: tetap lah assignment tak siap lagi!! esok nak pergi shopping pulak. huhu.

mari masak ayam percik

omg. i actually did it!!! i made ayam percik from scratch and it was not that hard la uols!!!

Bahan-bahan

Bahan A

1 tray ayam

Bahan B

1.5 labu bawang besar

3 ulas bawang putih

1/2 sudu jintan putih

2cm halia

Bahan C

asam jawa

santan dalam tin/ kotak

Cara-cara

1. Blend bahan B

2. Use the blended bahan B to marinate the chicken. Leave it over night (utk lebih mesra) atau 1 jam (if u are in a rush)

3. In a pot, boil the marinated chicken sekalu dgn bahan marinate tu, and tuangkan 1 tin santan inside as well. kacau-kacau. add perahan air asam jawa and garam. sambil-sambil tu, uols kena rasa, if tak cukup masam or masin, u hv to tambah asam jawa and garam.

4. boil until the kuah tu rasa mcm dah pekat. then, transfer the ayam to a baking tray, and bake it till its golden brown. masa transfer tu, lumur la sket kuah tu kat atas.

5. Siap! Sedap makan kalau drenched in the kuah. Well, at least I prefer it that way.

See,,senang kan? Sebenarnya the original recipe yg i tgk kata letak serai and also tepung beras. I have neither, so tak letak. namun tak affect the taste pon. :)

mimpi indah

korang pernah tak mimpi yang best-best?

last night was a bad night for me. something bothered me so much and i couldn't sleep thinking about it. tapi, bila bangun pagi, i felt like everything was ok, thanks to the wonderful dream that i had.

in that dream, i felt loved. i remember that i was complaining about a guy to my sister when she was dropping me off to someone's wedding or something. lepas tu, sampai je, i saw that guy yang entah kenapa rasanya rupa like remy or iqram waiting for me at the gate. and the guy told me that he missed me. (and perlulah kan, i nak cakap, sapa rindu kat i, angkat tangan. wth kan??hahahah)and what i remembered most was that funny feeling i had in my tummy, u know, that warm fuzzy feeling. then, he hugged me from behind (i can distinctively rasa macam ada stubbles rubbing against my cheek), and whispered to me: jom pergi bank. i nak bukak account bank for you.

and then, alarm pon bunyi. haiya..potong betul la.

but its sooooooooooooooo amazing how vivid your dreams can be when you are pregnant. hmm..harap2 mlm ni mimpi part 2 pulak. hih hih.

london day 1

Hari ni, marks the first time in my whole life that i travel alone. my trip to london has been planned since nov kot. anyway, went to london with natexpress, reached victoria station and went to sainsbury cos i need to buy bottled water. sebab apa tau? sbb nak makan panadol kerana saya demam! *nanges*. tapi ini tidak mematahka semangat waja i untuk pusing2 kota ini. went to check in at MH, and proceeded to relax2 and semayang dulu. pastu, ai pergi makan kat bonda cafe. u see, the cafe was full and since i was sitting alone, adala adik beradik ni duduk kat meja i. kitaorang borak2 and i could sense that they were well of, judging from their rolex watches, lv and chanel handbag and chanel shopping bag. lagipon dia cerita jugak, dia baru je dtg 2 weeks ago, ad ni dtg lagi cos nak shopping. wah....terus mak ala2 rasa some malaysians are filthy rich uols!!!!anyway, they left before i did, n bila i nk bayar, depa kata my meal has been paid for. syukur!!!!! oleh ittew, terus ada bajet nak mkn kat bonda mlm ni. hehe. anyway, after tht, i went to paddington undergrnd and pegi ke westminster.kat sana, i jalan2 tgk big ben, london eye, westminster abbey, parliament hse, trafalgar sq, picaddily and pergi ke hrc to buy some tshirts. :)then i pegi cari sainsbury tapi idok le plak jupa picadily train station. tsk. nasib ada jumpa fast food yg bukak esok. *syukur*. esok, i am planning to survey jalan ke oxford st, sbb dgr gosip dorang nak buat protes so non ado servis kenderaan sini. i hope my demam would be better now that i bought piriton to help with my flu. oklah...nak pegi relax2. 

saya rasa gemuk

and i blame it all on the good food i have been eating here in cardiff. Ayang is seriously a good cook. OMG...kari ikan dia, i can just hirup mcm sup. its that good!!!!! i also love her ayam goreng kfc and her nasi goreng. matilaa...makan tak ingat dunia ni! and no uols..being pregnant does not mean that i am allowed to eat as much as i want. But, how am i supposed to resist all this good food???? tsk.

dah la tu. dxoul just told me that the halal kfc is sekangkang kera je from MH and there's even subway halal as well (been craving for meatball marinara and steak and cheese. yummsss). and, bawah MH itself ada restaurant and that the mee goreng mamak is good. haih. yes..needless to say, part of my budget goes to FOOD.

by the way, found jeruk mangga in cardiff and its really really yummy!!!!!!!

ok..must start working on my assignment!!!!

p/s: i am really really happy with the marks I got for my communication and aesthetics paper. yeay!!

12 weeks and counting

I hate the in between phase. The one when you just look like you are fat. So, I would like to tell everyone that hey, I am not as gedempol as you think I am.

I just happened to be pregnant. :)

P/S: morning sickness was not fun. hope its over and done with now that I am done with 1st trimester. Currently craving for Ben & JerryS n cekodok.

apakah yang anda selalu lakukan sebelum pergi bercuti?

uhh..sakit belakang sebab kemas rumah. u see, telah menjadi tabiat saya untuk mengemas rumah sebelum pergi bercuti. sebab apa? sebab bila balik nanti, hati rasa lapang sebab tgk rumah bersih dan cantik. hihi.

i also have this habit of making sure my laundry basket is empty. kalau ada pon yang tinggal adalah pakaian the day before berlepas. but then again, maybe its because i love doing laundry. hehe.

so, sekarang, hati dah lapang because dah siap kemas rumah. bag pon dah pack.sekarang, hanya menunggu masa. hehe.

eiihh...excitednya. u know, i cannot wait to eat yummy halal food in the uk. oh kfc. oh chicken katsu don. of that fast food kat cardiff. oh.

and, i telah memasang niat untuk hanya membeli belah di kedai2 yang tidak terdapat di vienna. contohnya adalah m&s, primark, next and of course mc. eii..cannot wait. encik suami dah berpesan untuk usha jersey bola. ok..i usha je la ye..jeling jeling only, can ah? hahhahaha...

untuk anakanda, nak beli stock jeans dan baju. ye uols...apa salahnya kan beli besar sikit..then can simpan what.lagipon AD tu mmg suka benar pakai jeans skarang. no more shorts for him. sigh. AA will just inherit AD's baju i guess. hih hih. ok laa...mama will buy u some also. any reason to shop kan. wakakakakak...

okla...nak surf2 internet jap. nak compare prices of some stuff untuk memudahkan upacara beli belah nanti.

ready!

dah return buku library.

dah inform insurance going to uk.

dah tukar duit.

dah 80% packed.

now tinggal nak:
- collect residence permit
- post claims
- pi obgyn checkup
- catch bus to bratislava

cannot wait!!!

speaking of travelling, my babies would be going balik kampung (sans papa) from this saturday till christmas. they will be flying back with their auntie. honestly, i know my boys are independent tapi, deep inside my heart, i risau laaa.... AD ok lagi la cos he is a big boy (but still a baby to me), but AA is still a baby and the mama in me is kinda worried. it will be their first time balik kampung without us. i hope everything will go well.

berhasil

what a day!!!

my morning was not that great. i went out at about 9.30 am. tapi sebelum menaiki apa-apa pengaangkutan, i had to buy my weekly travel ticket. the thing is, i had no cash at all with me (unless u count fuit hungary), so seperti biasa, i beli2 barang anywhere guna bankomat saja. entah kenapa, the machine wouldnt accept my bankomat. dia tak leh read la pulak kad tu kan. bukan 1 machine, malah, kedua2 machine yg available.

so, nak tak nak, terpaksa lah i menapak ke bank. distancenya mungkin only 7 minutes away, tapi in this freaking weather, rasa mcm 10km okei. bila sampai di bank, berjaya keluarkan duit. namun, terasa sedikit semput sebab berjalan agak laju ke bank (dgn harapan utk mengelakkan rasa sejuk la kan). the thing is, i was careless and left my inhaler at home!!! so, terpaksa menapak balik ke rumah pula, dan panjat tangga 4 tingkat utk mendapatkan ubat ittew. i tell you, i was cursing at myself sbb my carelessness ittew!!! geram betul la.

i was so pooped masa sampai rumah, tapi tak leh nak rest lama2. had to go to the informatik centre sbb nak print segala mak nenek tiket dan sebagainya. lepas dah settle, balik rumah, dan pose pose nak baca artikel, only to watch amazing race sambil hanya pegang je artikel tu! haih.

petang tu, pergi jumpa SV terchenta. overall, the meeting was ok. he finally properly read my proposal!!!! setelah bertahun mak bagi, and dah tukar sana sini okei. so, he finally suggested the theoretical framework which i should base my work on, and asked me to read 2 books (which i will hopefully read when i am in cardiff or cuti2 london...dah mlm2 sorang2 je kan). basically those were the only additions he wants me to add on my proposal. have added it sket2. and will hopefully submit it tomorrow or wednesday at the student service centre (cos still nak kena burn cd tu plak kan.). lega ok....harap2 bolehlah diterima utk presentation.

esok, ada kelas. out of the 4 readings he gave, i read only 3. matilaa...the last one tu,i tried to baca a few pages, but this brain of mine mcm tak leh nak accept uols. so how??? petang tu, ai ada perjumpaan dgn lecturer utk discuss paper.

ok. so far so good. yg tak good is that i wasnt able to book tickets to go to bratislava airport. otherwise..things are just dandy.

ok. doakan ye semua dipermudahkan, insyaALlah.

berhasil

only 4 more days!!!

OMG. I cannot believe i only have four days left before i leave for my winter break (yang tak break sgt pon because i have tonnes of assignments but wth).

I am super excited. yeay yeay.

tapi dalam pada masa itu, i still have to settlekan a lot of stuff.

antaranya:

1. my expose presentation. must get consent form from my sv and also submit for and cd to prufungsreferat

2. discuss verhandlungs assignment with lecturer

3. collect residence permit

4. check up

5. print tickets. and book bus ticket to bratislv.

6. pack

7. return library books

sekarang, yang paling utama dan penting is for me to settlekan my documentation for the presentation. lets hope sv would be in tomorrow. have been emailing him a few times but didnt get a reply langsung. *sigh*

so, esok, nak tak nak i have to keluar pergi return library books, print all the stuffs that needs to be printed and find out if i can just burn that document kat the pc lab and jumpa sv.

tuesday, submit form, go to class and meet lecturer.

wednesday, pack, and submit form, if tak sempat nak submit on tuesday

thursday, collect residencepermit, check up, go brtslv and hello ayang!!!

owh..i am so risau that my sv wouldnt be in tomorrow. i hope he will. please please please.

buda dan pest

budapest is actually made up of buda and pest, which are seperated by the danube river. i spend most of my time in buda pest actually, as the transportation system at this side of the river was much better and the city well planned (thanks to the autrian occupation, i learnt on one of the freewalks).

building wise, i think if you have been to a european country, buildings would be similar, well at least to my untrained eye lah kan. mungkin uols can see the differences. but what is interesting is that, hungary was once occupied by the communist so u can see a lot of building build by the communist side by side dgn building2 ala-ala lama tu (tapi tak berapa nak lama pon sebenarnya). and, if you look closely, u can still see some bullet holes kat buildings becos kerajaan theyols tak berapa nak cukup duit to renovate bagai. imagine uols, gaji secara purata theyols 600euro ajer. minimum wage adalah 250euros. inilah akibat dari penjajahan komunis ittew uols (walaupon tetap theols maintain theols mengamalkan pemerintahan ala ala liberal komunis gittew sebab dibenarkan minum coke and pepsi cola dan pakai jeans walhal negara komunis lain tak tahu menahu pon apa ittew coke pada masa itu.

a nuclear bunker which can fit 2500 people. besar uols!!! and, if u ols naik ubahn dia, memang sangat la dalam because some of it used to be bunkers as well! if naik escalator dia, its like a loonnngggg way. gayat pon boleh.

some of the peninggalan and gambar2 dari era komunis tu. all this, i learnt on my free communist tour. memang la free, tapi berhati perut la sket uols bagi tips. very nice tour indeed and not so memenatkan.

next, i also followed the budapest free walking tour. ok..tour yg ni tidak disarankan bagi mereka yang kekurangan stamina, lemah lutut, lelah dan etc. alasannya adalah kerana, tour ini melibatkan perjalanan dari pest ke buda, across the danube river, pastu panjat pulak ke castle district kat buda tu (which in my opinion ala ala castle district kat prague jer uols). i have to admit, i felt super penat uols!!! *matila tak cukup stamina

pemandangan yang dapat dinikmati after what seemed like and endless climb.

pasal makan, i didn't have a problem unlike the person i went with!!!!. as i have been to budapest once before to teman someone beli kristal, i knew that there was a halal shop. so all i did was googled it and found the address on zabiha and went there to enjoy delcious food. :)

this was only 6 euros!!! murah gila ok if nak comparekan to wien. this is beriani kambing with a side dish of eggplant in yoghurt sauce and olive oil. yumss!!!

transportation wise, they hv trams, busses and ubahn. tapi i must say that its not that stroller friendly as u would have to climb a lot of stairs and then naik escalator yg tinggi nak mampus. dahla escalator lama so, if i were you, i would just carry my baby.

ubahn dia pon agak classic and i even saw one which was build in 1973 dan masih lagi digunakan. funny thing is, the design is very similar to our lrts which made me think, adakah kita telah meng-kopi design orang zaman dolu2 instead of being more creative and innovative?

anyway, for my travels, i purchased a 72hour ticket for about 12 euros (they still use their own currency becos tak layak lagi katanya utk guna euros). u can go anywhere and everywhere with that ticket. hasslenya adalah, everytime nak turun escalator ke ubahn tu, mesti nak kena tunjuk tiket. which again, reminds me of our system in mesia. lain giller dgn vienna ni (matila ai lupa daratan kejap).

selain itu, untuk shopper2 yang tegar, adalah wajib untuk mengunjungi the central market.

dekat central market ni, you can find lots of stuff, dari barang dapur, to kedai asia, to daging and ikan, to arts and crafts, baju, handbag and etc. senang je nak pergi. can naik tram 2 or 4 or naik metro line blue colour but i forgot stop kat mana.

orang kata, if dtg sini, should buy their table cloths with hand made stitches but i guess i wasnt that into table cloths. hehe. but, i did buy 2 paintings and thats only because i collect them from almost everywhere i go. :)

and...hungary is also famous for its paprika so u can see all sorts of souviners related to this.



tapi, again, i was not a huge fan.

but, since i have been looking for this one thing for the longest time, and dr sunshine kata i should treat myself i bought these instead.



have always wanted a structured doctors bag. this was all leather. walaupun tidak ada jenama, ai sangat berpuas hati dgn purchase ini. :)

common courtesy

you tahu, i rasa the bestest travelling partner i ever had is obviously my Dr Sunshine and my gang projek. With them, everything is super fun, tak de stress, relaxed, carefree, fun and did i mention fun??

haih, apalah nasib ai kali ni, i went with a person wh0m i think, kalu nak travel togede-gede, ai akan pikir doplohpat kali.

i think, bila kita travel sama-sama, kita kenalah sama-sama tengok map, cari jalan untuk ke destinasi. jangan harapkan travel partner sahaja dan jalan menonong.

pastu, bila ada orang cakap dia penat berjalan jauh, tak perlulah question "kenapa penat sgt hari ni padahal semalam jalan lagi teruk". errr....dah badan saya penat nak buat cemana?? then u ols pergila cari jalan tu sorang2. tsk.

ermm..pastu, i think, bila dah share bilik, kena pastikan keselesaan rumet kita ittew, no?

and i think everyone should chew with their mouth closed.

ok..will be back with pictures nanti.

syukur

- visa approved! can collect it on dec 16, which is incidentally the day i will fly off for my cuticutiuk. what great timing, kan?

- i ate rabbit meat today. i think i prefer chicken. however, the creamy sauce is tdf!

- petang ni, akan pergi makan di rumah auntie ai pulak. yum yum. i love makan2 sessions.

- marcusbanks is coming to my uni. ohmigod. *excited*. cannot wait for the workshop on dec10th. wohooo!!

- went to an english speaking gp and got me my seretide prescription. and u ols tahu, it only costs me 5euros (20rm) when in malaysia, i buy it for about 178rm!!!! so, sayangsayanginsuranssaya!

- ok..nak siap2 pi makan.

my number 1

AD: papa, mekdonalds mahal tak? mana lagi mahal, KFC ke mekdonalds?

Papa: dua-dua mahal

AD: ohh...takpela

Papa: AD nak makan mana? sebab AD nak, papa tak kisah.

AD:KFC *sambil senyum lebar*

***********

My sister today told me over YM that AD tore 4 keping RM1 yang mak bagi dekat dia. Nak tahu tak kenapa? Sebab dia nak share dengan cousins dia.

***********

AD now loves to read the papers with Papa. Sementara Papa baca other sections, AD will take a section and spell out words and read the page numbers.

i tell you, like any other mother out there, i am so proud of my son.

to me, he is the bestest eldest baby ever.

snack plate

i think AA and AD makes a good pair!

You see, AD absolutely loves KFC's coleslaw. Now, AA pulak loves mash potatoes. So, sekarang, whenever we dine in at KFC, we can just order a snack plate, and they can each have 1 piece of chicken, 1/2 bun and coleslaw (AD) and mash tatoes (AA).

wanted to chat with the boys, but apparently warta berita is on. so AD insisted on watching the news. yes. so very like the atok daddy!

geek-ish

u see, dari last week, i have been feeling SUPER lazy. i have a summary due today, at 11am, and as of last night, i still didnt do it. I memang tak de perasaan langsung nak buat and even contemplated not submitting my summary because i know of lots of other students who do not submit theirs.

alas, the geek in me decided that i had to do it because i could not just bear thinking that i could have done it but i didnt. and so, after subuh, i tak tidor balik and started to read that article secara ala kadar dan membuat summary sekadar termampu. walaupun summary tak se-gah mana (you try reading a 31page scholarly article in Deutsch and make a summary out of that!), ai tetap bersyukur that i did it.

and now, i can go to Budapest in peace!!!

oh...tapi i still have that 4 compulsory readings, which are, thank goodness, in English!!!

hari ni, kena tunggu orang datang check rumah.

esok, nak bertapa kat library, kumpul articles for my various assignments. petang esok, ada makan-makan kat rumah auntie.

jumaat, bertugas sebagai tukang fotostat tapak tangan untuk tujuan research profesor terchenta.

sabtu, babai wien and hello buda!

these boots are made for walking

in preparation for the upcoming winter and my trip to budapest, saya telah membeli sepasang boots.

boots yg ai beli ni, crocs punye boots. so far, crocs has never failed me. it has always been comfortable and memang my favourite even in KL. So, semasa mencari gummy boots (boots ala-ala PuaChuKang, tapi jauh lebih cantik sebab ada pattern2) online sambil berym dgn kawan, my friend pointed out to me this boots yg lebih kurang mcm the one i wanted.

But, i decided to explore the website and found 1 pair that i LOVE. So, semalam, dgn semangatnya, pergi kedai crocs at this one mall, tried it on, and a few other pairs, and i bought it. it was super comfy and warm!!! me likey!!!!! a bit pricey (for me cos im always looking for a bargain), tapi i think worth the investment.

anyway, the one i bought is the berryessa. :)

cannot wait to wear it to class today, nak test power. baru je selesai menspray dia with that water resistant thingy.

:)

p/s: tp dalam hati ni, tetap ada perasaan nak beli the other boots if its el-cheapo!

jalan-jalan

mood malas tiba lagi. u see. i am already in my holiday mood. seperti tidak sedar diri that i have 1 summary due tomorrow (of which the article is in deutsch) and 4 articles to read for next week. Di samping itu, kena start kumpul bahan-bahan for my papers so that i can start doing it soonest supaya dapat lebih bergumbira semasa cuticutiuk nanti.

anyway, dalam pada itu, i have booked a trip to budapest for this weekend. i have actually been there once but i didnt really get to sightsee as it was a balang-kristal-buying-trip (if which, i incidentally didnt buy any sebab mahal gillos!). i will be going for 3 days, 2 nights. got a good bargain for an apartment for 2 people (going with a surgeon who is here doing her subs) for only 46euros!! so thats just 23 euros a piece. sangat murmurs for me. and tickets pergi balik hanyalah 24euros.

kat budapest nanti, i plan to follow the free walking tour. so it shall not be too pricey la kot kan. sekarang ni, cuma dok pikir nak tukar duit. why la depa tak guna euros??

selain itu, dok berfikir pasal makan di sana. honestly, i am not that fussy. kalau tak confirm restaurant tu halal, ai order seafood. tapi masalah problem nya mungkin surgeon itu tidak bersependapat dgn ai. takpe la labu. yg penting, ai konfiden kan? hehehe

cannot wait for my trip this saturday!!!!

p/s: masih tak de mood nak buat kerja. i blame it on the snow. *matila nak point fingers je!!

babies

my favouritest eldest boy sibuk nak tgk his favouritest tv program of all time, GGK. Oleh itu, tak boleh nak online dgn mama dia. Even papa and my favouritest no 2 also have to teman him because as AD said: tak de orang pon nak duduk dgn Dani. so it has now become a friday night thing for the boys.

favouritest no 2 pulak sekarang can ask for milk.

AA: ayong, nak yuyu

along: bukan yuyu. SU SU

AA: YU YU

Along: tak..bunyi dia macam ni: SU SU

AA: YU YU

hahahahha...i found it so funny. and the thing is, bila along stressed the susu pronounciation, AA pon stress jugak his version of susu. wkakakak.

oh, and one time, he kejut along at 3ish am because dani vomitted.

AA: ayong. ani (sambil persuade along suruh follow him)

along thought AA yg vomit. ghupenya AA kejut along sebab nak suruh along take a look at AD yang tak sehat.

another favourite would be, ani..pi! (read: dani, tepi), dap (sedap..which applies to anything related to food, ie when he sees me eating, when he is eating), nosh (nose), cat, dog, book, baju, pampers, mandi, beyak, (s)akit, (ja)tuh, (pu)sat. its amazing kan to see their development.

oh..pastu i hv to share a good news. Izard is now a proud mummy to a baby boy, Adam. both are doing fine. 3.04kg, normal without epidural. :)

Alhamdulillah, penyelia terchenta telah mereply email i yg kedua dan bersetuju jumpa ai pagi esok. *lega*

harap2, dia boleh terus tulis surat ittew dan dengan itu, bolehlah ai terus berdesup pergi ke opis majistrat untuk menghantar surat dan segala mak nenek dokumen yg diperlukan.

n, esok ai ada presentation. the thing is, i have a partner in doing this presentation. tapi ai sukahati decide nak buat my part in english. i feel like producing the report on my own, kerana susahla uols nanti cemana nak combine report stengah english stengah deutsch? yes, saya dgn pandai akan menambah lagi benda atas pinggan, as if pinggan tu belum penuh, boleh?

anyway, presentation esok marks the last presentation this sem. woot woot! lepas ni, just tinggal 1 summary, 4 compulsory reading and summary and CUTI. yeahoooo............

walaubagaimanapon, sy harus tekankan di sini bahawa, saya masih kena berkerja semasa cuti. iye...ai ada 4 paper utk ditulis. *sob sob*.

bila dah 2 orang anak

today, i got a very upsetting news from my sister regarding AD's habit which i really despise. The thing is, it was sort of 'encouraged' by my very own mother and what upsets me most is, she continues to encourage it depite knowing how much i dont like it. siap suruh my sister hush hush lagi. haih.

so, today, i finally had it. i text-ed my mom to stop doing whatever she is doing and called Dr Sunshine to tell him about this matter. So, masa online tadi, Dr Sunshine and I reprimanded AD for his behaviour. Actually, I just told him to be a good boy, and kalau nak jadi good boy kena behave. kalau behave to, maknanya cannot do some things. pastu, Dr Sunshine talked to him in a garang tone. and next thing u know, AD menangis. tapi tak de la menangis meraung tu..jenis. menangis senyap2 sebab sedih. i felt a bit guilty, but what to do.

lepastu, Dr Sunshine cakap, maybe AD upset sbb dia sorang je kena tegur, so we had to tegur AA as well. I tell you, AA's face was so funny. the papa had to held him up near the camera, and then i just told him to behave (pastu papa dia tambah kat belakang: jangan raba perut...tu kan habit dia..wkakakaka...tak salah pon raba pusat sendiri). pastu, si AA juga jadi upset. wakakakak...

so, Dr Sunshine's solution was, bagi susu and ask them to sleep. So, he made a bug fuss about nak buat susu, only to realize, masa dia masak air, dia lupa nak switch on the plug. wakakakaka....Akibatnya, AA menangis kesedihan sebab nak susu sangat sangat. i think he was sleepy. he cried the whole time sementara tunggu air masak. kesian anak mama. hehehe...

kisah renew visa

hmm..the thing about tinggal dan menetap di sini adalah, visa kena renew setiap tahun. adalah agak leceh disitu kerana, tiap2 tahun kena spend beratus euro, di samping menfotostat dokumen2 yg perlu.

so anyway, i actually was pretty confident that i had all my documents in line pagi tadi semasa me-renew visa. tapi, first, let me tell you, yg i dah byk kali menerima layanan kurang baik dari pekerja2 kat opis visa tu. antara lain, mereka pernah

- membaling pasport ke arah saya (nasib ada kubikel kaca maka passport tak kena kat muka saya tetapi terbounce back)

- dimarah kerana tidak fasih berbahasa german

- di caci sebab ada hati nak berurusan dgn depa walaupun bhs german yg kucar kacir sehingga dorang kata lenkali dan dtg sini, sila bawa translator sebab kami tak layan uols yg cakap english (padahal ada sorang mamat american ni ok je dia layan lemah lembut sambil berbahasa Inggeris, wtf?)

jadi, i was actually quite nervous ok masa pergi pagi tadi. i got ready after subuh and was the second kunden to tekan nombor ittew. ofis pon belum bukak tapi mak semangat uols!!!

anyway, tahu tak, dalam byk2 dokumen that i hv meticulously photostated, ada jugak yg tak cukup!! the thing is, yg tak cukup tu wasnt even stated in the list of things i must provide for them. jadi, adalah agak tidak adil disitu.

despite giving them my guarantee letter which states that i am a fully sponsored student, mereka masih tidak puas hati dan mahukan my bank statements for the last 8 weeks.

selain itu, mereka mempersoalkan kenapa ai tak ambik byk kelas semester sebelum ini? adakah salah ai, ai sakit? adakah salah ai, i tak sempat register utk kelas sebab sakit and hence, i decided to start on writing sikit2? and buat a bit of literature search? i ni doktorat studentin wahai puanmejistret.jadinye, dia nak surat dari penyelia tercinta. Alhamdullillah, penyelia dah reply email and cakap ok..dia akan tulis surat cinta buat puanmejistret.

hmph...i tell you, semasa melalui semua ni, mmg rasa takut..takut tak dapat visa. uols..kat sini birokrasinya melampau ye. dia akan check results uols. if non ado yg passnye, alamat susah la nak continue visa ittew.

anyway kan, i hv a theory. i think, puanmejistrat thinks that i am working instead of studying. tu yg nak tgk bank statement bagai (in case ada gaji masuk kan) and juga surat dari SV (sbb nak tgk betul tak ai work on my thesis). ai honest ok uols!!

neway uols. doakanla yg i will get my visa. insyaAllah.

p/s: pasal bendalah visa ni, terus takde mood nak prepare for presentation. padahal presentation hari kamis ni. *matila.....

- nak dijadikan cerita, i was pickpocket-ed for the second time. not my rezeki, i guess. i lost my atm card and 100euros. dah bukan rezeki ai kot. *sedih*

- had some makan2 in my flat today. i made kuah kacang!!!! sedap pulak tu. hih hih. i also made raspberry jelly and murtabak maggi. there was laksa, nasi impit, lemang and serunding as well. okla kan for sambutan bujangs kat sini.

- i bought a tefal wok and also the pan to buat crepes cos it was on sale. tak sabar nak tunggu wok with cover to be on sale plaks.

- i still have to prepare for my presentation (this thursday), summary (due on tuesday) and documents for my residence permit.

- kena collect some documents from the post office.

- nak kena apply for residence permit. haih...sangatla malas tapi ini perkara yang langsung tidak boleh dielakkan. would do it on tuesday, the day my permit expires.

- esok nak apply for another debit card so that i can beli tiket balik kl. yer, saya ingat nak mensurprisekan husband saya untuk our 5th wedding anny. sweet tak? *matila angkat bakul sendiri

- i feel overwhelmed with my workload. tapi i can do it, kan?? tapi harini no mood. how? should i watch something on the net instead??? i mean i sort of have an idea of what i want to present on thursday, cuma nak kena prepare powerpoint la.

- oh...sifat malas, sila nyah dari sini. i want to feel energetic.

- going to salzburg this december. woot woot!

- i might have some thing to reveal soon. tapi kena tungguuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu

i was told to keep myself busy and i have it easy here because i just have to study and have no other commitments. katanya, orang lain ada other things to think of and take care of.

oh. macam tu.

i think its only natural to think of your family when you are alone, kan? but i guess it may be too much to want them to reciprocate cos they have their own thing to do.

What did i get myself into??

*geek mode*

Tahu tak. semalam, ai pergi jumpa lecturer di petang hari raya haji yang mulia untuk membincangkan tentang a possibility of me doing an assignment rather than buat a take home test.

at first, she said the take home test would be relatively easier than doing a 15pg paper. The questions, she said would be based on the readings she gave. tapinya, 70% of the readings are in Deutsch so i am not so confident, u know. sonyer, i told her that maybe, if i write a paper i can use it for my phd thesis as well. kes kill two birds with 1 stone lah ni. so, after further discussions, she told me to pick a theme from her lecture, and try to work on a topic related to both the topic and what i planto write for my phd.

honestly, i think its great because once i come up with the idea of what to write on, she would help suggest further readings and etc. i think thats great. plus, i like her class because she actually teaches about active audience, which is what i plan to write on pon. so, technically, i think this paper can be used as part of my literature review chapter, kan?

the problem for me sekarang is to come up with a 2 page proposal of what i plan to write on. haih. i thought of selecting that John Fiske's article on moments of TV and try to relate it with halls encoding/decoding theory. and, i was also thinking of maybe using the comparison of audience reception between rural malay and urban malay youngsters.

and you know, by committing myself to this paper, that means i have 4 papers due in January. there goes my holiday kan? tsk.

anyway, nak gak cerita pasal my paper visual culture. i sort of feel that i am an essentialist because i have the tendency to specifically define melayus. bukan specifically define per se, tapinya, because the paper i plan to write on for visual culture tu, ingatkan nakla guna the 'self' and 'others' approach by analysing tv text. so, i was thinking of looking at how malays are portrayed and how youngsters actually view themselves as malays, as being portrayed on tv. and, how they see the others as well. tapi tula...prof saya cakap, how can u say, melayu macam ni macam ni. dia kata, u are malay, tapi u pakai jeans and adidas and i am sure thats not part of your culture. haiyaahhhh................ terus mak jadik stress! tulanye kan masalahnye bila media studies student pergi ambik paper anthropology. haiyahhh....so, i must think about this as well.

apa pon, i plan to use the paper i write for his class utk satu conference. hihihi. and maybe i can use part of it for my thesis, insyaAllah.

ok...back to mencari idea for fiske.

popia sardin sempoi

Sempena hari raya haji ni, ai bersemangat nak buat popia sardin. :)

Bahan-bahan

cili kering 4 batang (blend dgn bawang to make cili paste)

sardin 1 tin kecik

popia sheets

half labu bawang besar, chopped

Cara-cara

tumis cili paste sampai pecah minyak n masukkan bawang.

masukkan sardin, garam and a bit of oyster sauce.

let it simmer sampai kering.

spread popia sheet, letak inti sardin tadi, gulung2, lekatkan with mixture of tepung and air, and SIAP!!!

senang kan?

i got about 8 pieces. but maybe thats because i like my popia sarat dgn isi. hehe.

its now in my freezer. esok, ingat nak goreng. YUMMY!!

bila terasa gemuk

bila dah terasa seperti di atas, maka empunye diri kena mula insaf dan sedar diri. langkah pertama, STOP blaming the weather. ye, empunya diri mempersalahkan cuaca yang sejuk ketar lutut ini kerana nafsu makan yang semakin membuak-buak.

langkah kedua ialah untuk lebih bergiat aktif dan kurangkan aktiviti baring-baring bawah duvet (walaupun konon-konon bertemankan bahan bacaan). so, untuk misi ini, empunya diri ingat nak mula aktiviti morning walk di sekitar palace yang betul2 ada kat sebelah rumah jer. 2 round pon cukup la kot kan? takpe, kita start slow-slow. mula-mula, kita brisk walk. lagi 2 or tiga minggu, kira larilah lite lite kan? apa?? ingat empunya diri tak mampu buat? ai pernah lari 10km okeh. (maaf kerana tiba-tiba emo tak bertempat)

langkah ketiga, amalkan permakanan berkhasiat. just because minum jus dalam kotak yang katanya no sugar added, doesn't mean its healthy ok? sila perah juice sendiri. kalau malas, minum jer air kosong tu. sila sedar diri wahai empunya diri!

how did i ever let things get this far? is it the skinny premium hot choc that i frequently have? tapi kan ker dah skinny, so it shouldnt be fattening right?

whatever it is, and no matter how much you love ovomaltine chocolates wahai empunye diri, sila berhenti dari membeli one more bar. no...alasan bahawa this will be the last bar has got to stop! ok.ok. habiskan the current bar, and thats it!

i think i should buy cashew nuts and kismis kan. munching on those would definitely be muuuccchhhh healthier than eating sour cream and onion crisp kan?

haih..harap-harap misi berjaya.

something wrong somewhere

semenjak dua menjak ni, suka plak memasak. and no,not telur goreng ok. hari ni, for dinner, i thought of making kari ayam. tapi entah macam mana, termasak ayam masak merah with french beans pulak. haha.

then, dah surf2 internet, jumpa resepi orang cake, and i feel like making that tomorrow.

but, i also feel like making sagu gula melaka. dua dua pon, i tak de bahan but all can be bought kan?

pastu kan, saya juga suka makanan pedas. usually, if masak kari, memang tak penah nak letak cili. but, off late, ai suka pulak letak cili.

oh...and tomatoes kan, yg kecik2 tu, sedap dimakan begitu sahaja.

i also lovelovelovelovelove ovomaltine chocolate. oh...and sour cream and onion punye chips.

hmm...mungkin sebab itulah, dah hari hari naik tangga 4 tingkat pon, bentuk badan masih tidak berubah. haih. i blame the weather!

tacos sempoi

My tacos are really so sempoi because i just threw in whatever i could find in my fridge. kalau ada mushroom sure lagi sedap, i think. neway, the ingredients that i used were:

stengah labu bawang besar, chopped

sayur kacang buncis, chopped

tomatoes, sliced

cheese

taco sheeets

minced meat

taco mix

1. saute bawang, masukkan minced meat sampai brown.

2. masukkan kacang buncis and tomatoes

3. masukkan taco mix secukup rasa. siap!

then,

4. heat oven

5. spread taco sheet. letak cheese and the minced meat yg dah goreng tadi. (i put a lot of cheese because i LOVE cheese. plus its a good source of calcium, kan??)

6. letak dalam oven for about 10-15minutes.

SIAP!!!

senang gila kan?? and you know, sementara nak tunggu masak tu, sempat la tgk youtube or something yg durationnya 10minutes. heh heh.

oh, nak makan tu, i letak tomato sauce. some ppl would prolly love to put mayonaise as well, but since this is taco sempoi and i was out of mayo, so no mayo for me.

p/s: actually, i went to the grocery store today to get a bag of sour cream and onion chips and chocolate chip cookies (tapi tak ingat plak beli biskut!). tengah round-round the aisles, i found taco mix and also taco sheets. jadi, terus bersemangat nak makan tacos for dinner!

random

- made koay teow goreng tom yam for dinner and nasi goreng tom yam for lunch. yumss!!!

- feel like eating ayam masak merah esok.

- have to watch the great dictator tomorrow. how exciting. NOT!

- Dani absolutely loved his birthday cupcakes yang bertemakan handy manny. he also absolutely loves the present i got him. *bliss*

- have to write an abstract and also prepare a short presentation tapi mood belum mari. how?

- hands are freezing while typing this because i switched on the fan and directed it towards my lappie. cik lappie dah buat perangai balik. suddenly switched off by itself! i think its too hot. hence the percubaan.

- cannot wait to shop in the UK. But before going, I am planning to buat a visadebitcard here so that i can spend my euros instead of my rms bila guna msian crdtcrd.

- only 2 presentations, 1 abstract, and 3 summaries left before i can enjoy my long awaited break.

- i miss my boys.

- accidents may happen to some ppl, but some just asked for it.

- dr sunshine finnaly got my card which i sent like eons ago!! he loved it. heh. esok nak beli kad lagi.

- cannot wait for december.

- bencinya bila tiba2 tengah-tengah malam perut berkeroncong sebab lapar. haih. i actually woke up to eat at 1am last night ago because i was SO hungry. tu la..lain kali makan proper dinner kan? tapi ai tetap nak blame the weather.

- cuaca juga menyebabkan ai selalu pergi toilet. and, sebab udara kering, selalu haus. sejuk+byk minum= frequent toilet trips.

- entah kenapa, i semakin rajin masak. hrm. esok i feel like eating ayam pedas. yum yum.

4 already?

My baby boy will be four at exactly 11.08pm on 8 nov. i tell you, he has grown but as a mama, no matter how old he is, and how may adiks he has or will have, he will still always always be my baby.

AD is a very bright, intelligent boy. I am very thankful that hati dia terang and i hope it will remain that way. At four, his most favourite thing in the world adalah police stuff. handcuffs, police badges, guns, anything related to the police. Obviously, his favourite show would be gerakkhas, rodaroda and polisgerakmarin. kalau 3 show ni shown on tv, tak payah keluar pon tak apa. he can speak very well. cara dia nak mintak something pon ber'aluh'. InsyaAllah, Allah akan terangkan hati dia. :)

AD my huggeroonimooni,

Mama can so remember the day i gave birth to you. You are very special to me sayang. Mama harap, adik-adik AD nanti (insyaAllah) akan ikut perangai awak. I hope they would love to perform the solat, like you. Love to read, like you. Love listening to ayat-ayat suci, like you. For me sayang, you are a very good example. Thank you for being a very easy baby to take care of. You know, baru-baru ni mama terfikir. When you were just 2 years old, you were strong for mama.You knew mama tak larat dukung bila kita jalan jauh masa kat Vienna and so you walked with all your might. I feel so guilty sayang for putting you through all this but you are one VERY strong boy.

Remember when we walked from our house to get KFC and i made you promise to walk the whole way if you wanted to follow? You did. But on the way back, I could sense that you were tired. And i asked you, "nak mama dukung tak?". And you said, "tapi Dani kan dah promise mama?". Terus mama dukung awak. Dani memang tak pernah ask for anything. You have always not been the type to mintak this and that when we are grocery shopping or at the mall. I remember going to toysrus and saw you so excited. So u asked papa and me if you could 'pinjam' toys tu. We let you, and when we wanted to leave, you put it back.

Dani,

Thank you for being a good brother to AA. I can see how you love him by the way you play with him. Thank you for giving in. I tell you, you may be only 4, but sometimes i feel that you are matured beyond your age. Everytime lepas mama sembahyang, mama will doa supaya Dani jadi anak yg baik, diterangkan hati, sihat, mendengar kata, insyaAllah.

Dani behave ye sayang, and be a good boy. Mama is so proud of who you are and who you will become one day.

From the bottom of my heart, Happy 4th birthday.

love,

Mama

susu soya

i went to buy some things from the asian store tadi and saw this instant soya drink that i felt i MUST buy. tak sabar nak try minum malam nanti!

i also bought kangkung, sebab fenfeeling nak makan kangkung goreng belacan with ayam goreng n kuah kari (lebih dari kari sardin) untuk lunch esok. tapi, nak kena cari mana belacan i. hmmm...

pastu, ai beli asam, sebab nampak macam menarik!

anyway, the reason i could go out was because i finished my take home test! wohoo!!! *lompat lompat*. walaubagaimanapon, i plan to reread whatever i have written tomorrow and edit mana yang patut cos technically i have till monday night to submit it. :) malam ni, ai nak tengok movie. ermm...what should i watch ek?

esok, ingat nak breakfast kat starbucks sambil2 baca so Fiske tuh because i have another summary due on tuesday. sesambil itu, nak kena pikir apa nak buat for my eksperimen untuk foprak.

p/s: siapa tahu mana kita boleh download cerita anne frank???

kari sardin sempoi

what do you cook when you don't have a lot of things in the pantry???

entah kenapa, today, i wanted to eat curry. and since there's no chicken or meat in the freezer, i decided to make kari sardin!

so uols, here is the recipe for kari sardin sempoi. memang sempoi cos it only takes less than half an hour to siap!

1 labu bawang besar

5 cili kering

2 sudu besar serbuk kari

1 tin kecik sardin in tomato sauce

garam secukup rasa

tomato sauce secukup rasa (sayang nak bukak my asam jawa)

1. blend cili kering and bawang besar. (cili kering tu kena rendam dalam air panas dulu sampai kembang)

2. tumis bawang and cili kering yg dah blend

3. bila nampak cili tu dah masak, masukkan serbuk kari. (i actually mixed the serbuk kari with water to make a paste)

4. pastu tunggu pecah minyak and masukkan the sardin without the sauce

5. letak garam

6. put tomato sauce until mencapai rasa masam yg dikehendaki. actually letak fresh tomatoes lagi best but i didnt have any.

7. let it simmer for a while, and walaahh... siap!!!

oleh sebab namanya kari sardin sempoi, tuan punye tak kuasa nak hidang atas pinggan and hias bagai. i am just keeping it real, ok!

*matila nak jugak justify kan*

senang kan??

you can have it with rice or, like me, have it with mee so instantly jadi mee kari!!!

tapi rasanya malam nanti, i will fry some papadom and makan dengan nasi. if i only i hade eggplants, i would definitely masak sambal terung. yums!!!

oh..if uols ada telur (and by that i mean telur ayam), u can make half boiled egg for breakfast, and letak kari sardin ni and kicap sikit and eat it with toasts and butter. yumss!!!

i plan kalau ada leftover esok pagi, nak makan dengan roti prata. :)

have you ever?

have you ever felt that your brains are sooooooooooooooooo super tired that all you want to do is golek-golek atas katil sambil tengok mindless tv shows?

have you ever felt like you have worked so hard for something, and deserve a good break but you cannot because you have a lot of other things waiting for you?

i tell you, November is not a good month for me. Its one deadline after another and I am suffocating. I am so tired of looking up for journal articles on the internet, cari buku kat library, do a whole lot of reading and then tulis. haih.

lepastu, i actually really want to continue writing my thesis, but tak sempat-sempat lagi because of all this other work. i really cannot wait for November to be over!!!!

ok,now back to Victor Turner's article.

booked!!

Yeay, I have settled all the bookings for my UK trip. *lompat lompat*.

dah book flight, train tix, tix to london, accomodation. yeay!! so far, everything is within my budget. the most expensive, is of course accomodation in london, tapi lantaklah labu. tu pon dah ok dah sbenarnye. (ucapan terima kasih buat dzul sbb tolong bookkan accom for me in London and ayang kerana sudi bagi mak ''balik kampung' ke rumah uols!)

Anyway uols, this wiill actually be my first time jadi tourist sensorang nanti di kota london tu!! hmm....i hope the transportation services are as efficient as the ones in wien. i am not that worried because everybody speaks english, so that would not be too hard. cuma nanti nak cari2 tempat makan dan etc. bestnya!! hmm..where can i get free maps??

first day sampai, plannye nak ronda2 sambil mencari tempat tido mak ittew. hari kedua, nak usha tempat2 utk diterjah pada boxing day. boxing day of course will see me boxing the day away. and probably even the next day? i dont know. and then nak fenfeeling tourist juger. tengoklah cemana.

i hope everything would be smooth sailing.

p/s: sesapa yg duduk di london or penah jenjalan ke sana, bagila ai tips places to go, see, eat!!! thanks!!

p.ps: public transportation jalan tak on xmas day??

membuat presentation

haih, sekarang sedang bertungkus lumus membaca untuk bersedia bagi presentation selasa ni. banyak benda nak kena baca.

but you know what? i have decided to work smart. since my presentation would only be for 30 minutes, i obviously cannot masukkan every thing that i read, right? so, i decided not to read everything, and just buat my powerpoints based on 3 articles. aci tak??

*update*

finished preparing the ppt slides for my presentation and also my zussamendfassend for this wednesday's class. so can concentrate on writing my answers for take home test mulai pagi ini! *yeay*

p/s: despite the fact that i would still have to do some work on my xmas break, i cannot wait for it! wohoooo...

yakin boleh

masa-masa gentar mengejar deadline (yes..its tarikh ajal, hence the word deadline...dateline refers to the date kat papers tuh), teringat plak masa keje kat soratkhabar.

you know, i sometime have to churn as much as 15 (sometimes more) stories per week and our deadline was ussually on wednesday/thursday. Selagi belom saat-saat akhir, selagi tu laaa sempat nak pergi long lunches, manicure, basuh rambut, shopping dan buat perkara-perkara yang tiada langsung kaitan dgn sotry tu. and then, hari rabu tu, tiba2 idea dtg mencurah-curah gittew!!!

i tell you, procastinating is EVIL. tapi i keep on doing that. for instance, i just printed out some articles that i must read in order to prepare for my presentation, tapi, lepas dah print tu, surf internet la, apa la.. haih.

but maybe, just maybe, i work better under pressure?? *matila nak justify*

progress

ok. i am done with question no 2 of my take home test. i was trying to tackle question no 1 tapi suddenly realized that i have a presentation due on Nov 2nd and so, will work on that first. i am giving myself 3 days to prepare for the presentation. Kalau boleh, nak habiskan before Saturday. Kalau siap before Saturday, I will reward myself with a trip to the outlet!! heh heh. *matila alasan!

lepas siap presentation, nak siapkan my weekly summary thingy. and then, work on my exam again!

i hope i can do it, insyaAllah.

ketagih

i heart derek morgan criminal minds.

yes, keje menimbun, tapi saya masih tak sedar diri and keep on watching CM.

Sila timbul kesedaran sikit wahai diri sendiri!

tsk.

bila nak mai?

mood untuk membuat kerja masih ala ala non existant walaupun deadline utk banyak benda semakin hampir. ish....i tell you, nak work on my take home exam tu pon, punyelah procastinate. in fact, sampai sekarang, jangankan satu soalan, introduction to jawapan pon NON ADO!! *matila!!*

anyway, i am here to write on my latest purchase which i think is a tad expensive (for me la becos i am very cheap like that). I have been wanting it since i was in the hospital sebab sedap gila bau bila rumet kat spital tu pakai. so sejak itu, asyik usha je kat kedai but was a bit put off sebab harganya. anyway, since my current one dah nak habis, ai decided that its about time i indulge myself and get something i really want! so, dengan tanpa rasa bersalah, i pon belilah lotion idaman kalbu, yang amat sedap baunya dan dikatakan sesuai untuk kulit yg amat kering.

selamat datang ke keluarga skincare chesabb, wahai biotherm baume corps oil therapy. i think my purchase berbaloi cos it should be able to last me for a few months. *matila nak jugak justify*

next, bila krim muka dah habis, ai berangan nak beli krim idaman kalbu jugak. sebab, i think, its about time i take good care of my face, no? usia pon bukan makin muda uols. jadi ai kena la berusaha menjaga kejelitaan, kan?

by the way, i found the best product for my dry feet! its an enriched butter thingy yg wangi giller and tak langsung bau like all those crack heel cream yg i penah try masa kay keyell. i LOVE it!!

ok, sekian.

bergelumang

saya berlari mengejar deadline.

EVERY FREAKING tuesday: Summary of articles to be discussed the next day (which explains why i have been reading a lot of adorno. ai akan mengapplykan teknik ni masa i mengajar nanti. siap budak2 tak baca artikel dan tak buat summary. its part of the evaluation!)

Nov 2: presentation of dual systems theory (which i have no freaking idea sebab rasa mcm tak penah belajar je. or maybe i didnt concentrate in uni dolu2?)

October 23 - Nov 8: Take home test - culture and aesthetics. (whatdehell is take home test? kenapa lecturer ai tak pernah bagi dulu2? apa yang dia expect ni? *panik*)

Nov 10: Outline of experiment for Forschungspraktikum (have to look for war film clips...help!)

Nov 15: Deadline for abstract untuk paper Visual Culture

Nov 16: Presentation of initial ideas for Visual Culture punye paper

Nov 25: Presentation for Qualitative Kommunikationmethode

Jan 17: Deadline for paper on Visual Culture

Jan 20: 1/2 hour presentation for Visual Culture

Feb 1: Deadline for Forschungspraktikum paper

honestly, i feel so tired everytime i come back, and not, its not only because i have to climb 4 flights of stairs every time. minda macam penat *chewah*.

i feel that time is not enough!! I promised myself to finish chapter 1 of my thesis by the end of the month, and although its almost there, masih lagi tak complete kan!! lari deadline mak!! and kengkonon chapter two should be done in november, tapi tengok je la deadline2 yang ada bulan november ni uols!!!!!! *pengsan*

on top of that, i spend time looking for english translations of articles in my reading list. if tak jumpa, terpaksa guna google translate.

oklah. nak tidur. esok nak kena bangun pagi, baca article yg patut dibaca sebelom kelas, and hopefully finish my summary for this coming tuesday so that i can concentrate on my take home test.

aufwiedersehen.

LMAO

i think this is written very witty-ly. :)

http://kickdefella.wordpress.com/2010/10/19/bomba-perlu-bersedia-memadamkan-kebakaran-di-jambatan/

i have always loved his writings and thoughts.

little things that makes me happy

dah book flight to Cardiff. Now nak book bus tiket to London tapi tak tahu nak pilih which stop. I plan to stay at MaraHouse. So, which stop should I stop at?? Westminster? Ke cemano?

Next, nak book accomodation pulak.

eiiiii....bestnya! I cannot wait. I think this break would be good after all my hard work. (err...hard work ke ek??heheheh). tapi harus ingat, i have a presentation due the week i come back. and my papers to be submitted. yikes!!!adakah ini bermakna ai kena bawak cik laptop pergi on vacation jugak. haih...looks like it la kan. i guess you've got to do what you've got to. Well, at least I would be with my 'family'. :)

yeay yeay.

ok.now back to Glee. and after that, Adorno's Zusammenfasend.

rindu

saya rindu sama budak yang gambarnya kat atas tu.

today is exactly two weeks that I am without him. This is my second time being seperated from him for a long duration of time,the first time was only for 12 days. I was sick and when i looked at old pictures of him when i was sick tu, i realised how thin he was. and itsuddenly dawned to me that was probably because i didnt give him enough to eat and susu. sedih pulak bila fikir. and guilty to boot.

this time around, i left him in good hands. he's now with Papa and AD (which he calls Ni or Abe) and my mom and along. so i know he is being taken care off really well. he's eating well (had 1/4 of his Papa's subway and also suka olive like the brother!!). so i should be happy.

tapi.

tapi today i broke down.

i broke down because i miss this little boy so much. he has been with me here since day 1. since he was in my tummy. he has always been with me. i cannot help but keep on looking at his toys. sniffing at the part of the bed he used to occupy and his bantal.i miss hearing him panggil mama, kacau i masak and even when i am taking my shower. i remember how our bedroom would be super messy with his toys. i miss having him snuggling with me malam-malam. i miss looking at him sepahkan almari. i miss berebut laptop dgn dia. i miss him so much.

its so lonely. tapi, at times like this, i would always remember an entry Suzy once wrote in her blog.

i can do this right?

i miss my boys.

Malay, Malaysian, Muslim and proud of it.

Hari ni, saya sengaja bangun awal untuk ke institut kajian antropologi untuk suatu seminar. Kenapa ai interested sangat nak pergi? Sebab, presenter tu, iaitu seorang non-muslim yang claimed that she was from Malaysia tapi mengajar kat uni seberang Mesia, was going to talk about Islam and Malaysian politics.

Now, i felt that it would be interesting to listen on a non-muslim view about Islam in malaysia, plus, before going, i wasnt sure if she was indeed malaysia so i wanted to make sure she got her facts right. (gittew...macam la ai ni arif sangat tentang malaysian politics and etc...but i do read about it ok, from both leftist and right-ist point of view). anyhoo, i found her talk disturbing. I know, she has the right to her own views and etc. but when this view affects the image of my country and muslims in my nation, i felt perturbed. perlukah uols question the syariah court and malaysian jurisprudence. okla...i mean, from her talk and her pictures which i saw was sourced from malaysian insider, i knew which side of the fence she is standing in. the way she pronounces mahath.ir pon dah semacam ok!

anyway, she actually put pictures of malays stepping on the cows head, the church bombings, the rally outside high court when li.na.j.oy appealed for the religion status to be changed in her ic, pciture of that mount everest climber who died and was buried as Muslim against his wifes wishes. She was talking about how more liberal Malaysian Muslims were emmigrating. Err.....to be honest, i wasn't really confortable with what she showed. To me, she was painting a picture as if our county are bombarded with this aggresive muslims who would bomb places or hold rallys when they are not happy with something. and she said, the government backed up this people.

So, dengan muka panas and berdebar-debar, I voiced my opinion. I was the last person to ask her a question and I said: I am a Malaysian Malay Muslim and I am really disturbed with the way you portrayed Muslims in our country. I would like everybody to know that not all Muslims in Malaysia are like that. Then I asked, what do you mean by Liberal Muslim? There's Muslim or non Muslim. We abide by rules stated in the Quran. Those are rules which some may not follow. But still, those are RULES.

And then, I told her, as in LJ's case, in Malaysia, the constitution clearly states that a Malay is someone who is a Muslim. Beragama Islam. Dan, because of that fact, her religion cannot be changed in the IC. If tukar agama dalam IC, maknanya nanti kategori atau pengkelasan Melayu di dalam perlembagaan Malaysia akan secara otomatik tukar. So, macam mana kita nak pertahankan hak-hak melayu yang ada? Religion, is the only thing that is left to help define us as Malay. Kalau bercakap bahasa melayu, any tom, dick or harry can belajar the language, betul tak? So, what will differentiate Malays from the other races? By our religion. Dan dalam IC, hanya Melayu sahaja yang akan ada tulis Islam kat dalam IC dia.

Lepastu, she also said Malaysia banned Arqam because it had political intentions. Err...excuse me. So, to that, I said, One of the main reason Arqam was banned was because the way they practiced Islam, not because of political intentions. Dorang anggap their leader was so special kan? Macam mengaggungkan sangat leader dia because he was believed to be the decendent of Nabi Mohamad S.A.W. Tapi, kita, sebagai orang Islam should agungkan Allah. Bukan ke macam tu??

Then, she said, as she was replying to my comments, that the malays portrayed in her slides are just a minority (ha..masa mula-mula presentation tak de pulak nak buat disclaimer macam tu kan?). She said that Mesia is a peaceful country and bla bla bla...and she didnt mean to offend me or what so ever. tapi , tetap dia tak jawab soklan ai pasal liberal muslim.

pastu ,masa sesi minum2 kopi, she came to me and said..oh, i didnt mean theres liberal muslim. there wasnt much time so dia guna je term tu. oh. ok. but i still think that doesnt make it ok. because she did sort of implied that more muslims are migrating because of the laws imposed on them (tak leh minum alkohol...yg sebenarnye mmg diharamkan dalam Islam kan??) and that they were not free. Pastu she said, interfaith talks should be encouraged so that people would understand other faiths better and etc. hmm...i guess the idea of interfaith talks is kinda ok. tapi honestly, i am scared if being too open about discussing pasal religion and ethnicity would bring back memories about bloody culture clashes and etc.

hmm..what say you?

yakin boleh

and so, i have been to 2 classes. both were ok lah kot. i mean comm and aesthetics, i think i can understand but visual culture is still a BLUR. the lecturer asked us to look for something we would like to work on for our paper (due in January) and to present the abstract of whatever we wanted to do in november.

what is actually confusing was that, i was asked to look at things accroding to the anthropological perspective as opposed to cultural studies punye perspective. but i dont know about u, i think both perspectives mcm lebih kurang je. lecturer kata, kalau antrhopology, they will question what ppl think of a phenomena and how ppl intepret it...err..ok.

so, i have decided to actually work on my findings in focus group discussion yg telah dibuat untuk projek visual culture. but i am going to twist it around to, how these young ppl see themselves being represented on tv. something to that effect lah..will think about it more esok.

other than that, my culture and easthetics kelas katanya ada take home test. matila mak!! tak penah hokei mengalami take home test ini. i mean what is expected of you?? i know i must write at least 2500 words per question but how many references should i have??? anyone can give me an idea??it starts end of next week. *yikes* sementara itu, my kiasu mode is sky high sebab telah men-reserve buku2 yang lecturer mention di dalam lecture. hih hih. yela...dengan harapan akan berguna dalam take home test nanti. hiks.

hmm..esok kelas petang...so pagi i plan to go to the library.

p/: is fissler a good brand for periuks???

kemahuan atau keperluan?

hmm....u know, the hooded winter jacket i have has been with me for 2 wonderful winters. this would be its 3rd winter with me. sebenarnye, jauh di sudut hati, rasa mcm nak beli winter jacket baru!!! but i feel guilty nak spend my euros because its still kinda pricey (altho i saw a few at hnm for 29.90euros). should i wait just sabar and wait for the sale (which entah bila), or beli jer???? haih. menyesal pulak tak beli masa end of season sale last winter.

pastu, rasa teringin nak lotion biotherm. ni sebab terpengaruh dgn rumet masa masuk spital dulu. sedapnya bau dia but its 29.90euros. hmm...maybe boleh kot cos lotion saya sangat tahan lama. so, maybe after my current one habis, boleh la ek? justified kot, kan??

pastu, i am dying for a pedicure tapi from what i read at the viennaexpat forum, kat sini mcm tak best.

neways, am contemplating about booking my tickets. i mmg akan pergi uk. well..going to cardiff first, then off to london for boxing day, insyaAllah. should i book my tickets now, or later?

selain itu, saya tengah cari tukang buat grill area bangi/kajang. siapa boleh rekemen kat i??

teman baik ahkak

semenjak balik dari kl ni, ai malas amatz nak masak. the last time i ate rice was on monday. and tetiba bangun pagi Sabtu ni, fenfeeling nak makan nasi pulak! kalau boleh keluar beli nasik lemak ke nasik dagang ke or nasik berlauk JJ (ya ampunz, sedap ok nasi berlauk JJ ni, kena beratur lagi nak beli uols..its in kelate btw), sanggup ai pakai jaket semua pergi beli. tapi apakan daya, dah tak ada. so instead, i gigih masak nasik kat rumah.

tapi sadly, dalam byk2 groceries beli this week, ai baru tersedar yang ai tak de plak beli bawang. haih!!!bawang tak ada, tapi dah terbeli sotong semalam. jadi angan2 nak masak sambal tumis sotong terkubur begitu sahaja. so, my next solution was, to goreng telur mata sapi! makan dengan kicap kipas udang yg dibawa khas ittew, serta serunding ikan bilis yang yummylicious. yum yum.

dalam pada mengorek gobok, baru tersedar yang ai lupa pack my precious ikan bilis dan udang kering. *nangis* terus ai sms mak untuk poskan.

oh..lupa nak bagitau teman baik i skarang. sebab malas masak, teman baik ai adalah roti, vegan sandwich spread, vege nuggets,potato-cheese medallions, and freezer to fryer/oven stuff like frozen vege lagsana and pizza. fyi, ai tak pergi lagi kedai halal utk beli ayam ke etc.sebab tula ai makan vege stuff je uols...senang bleh beli kat normal grocery store.

ditambah dengan naik turun tangga 4 tingkat hari-hari (well, almost everyday lah), agak-agak boleh kurus balik ke ai ni?

tapi..cemano nak kurus uols..mulut ni jap jap ngap jajans! haih.

beratur masuk pustaka

for the first time in my life, ai was outside the library before it actually opened. heh heh. sebelum ni, sokmo beratur kat luar jualan gudang jer uols. apakah ni semangat baru??

anyhoo, dah sexcited dapat masuk library terus la aim for pc yg dekat hujung belakang tu. sekali, datang orang tua serabai (yg makin serabai dah busuk ya amats! baju pon kotor uols!) and he sat next to me. haih...tahulah uols rindu kat mak sebab tak nampak 3 bulan kan?? namun mak tersenyum jer uols sebab honestly i think he is such a charachter. dia ala-ala pelakon tambahan yang presencenya dirasai.

dalam senyum-senyum tu, ai tetap tak berapa nak tahan dengan bau dia uols...and his constant habit of clearing his throat ditambah dengan nak hembus hingus tu. so, being a typical malay yg bersopan santun, ai collected all my books and pretended to go out, only to sneak back in to a pc kat depan dah jauh dari orang tua serabai ittew. ihiks. yes u ols, ai takut gak if dia tetiba mencaruts kat ai ke sebab terasa hati cos move tempat when he came to sit next to me.

oklah. ai nak buat kerja.

p/s: ai rasa nak mengamalkan konsep surrendered wife mulai sekarang.
p.p/s: ordering red velvet cuppies for hubby. my sis asked what was the occasion and i told her, we don't need an occasion to give gifts, kan??
p.p.p/s: AD wants a Handy Manny cake for his birthday, and party packs and for mama to bring it to his school. err...but mama is in vienna. how ek?

100m

today, i went to the student centre. found out i am in the new doktorat system.

then, i went to the graduate center, and found out that i have to take subjects amounting to 60 credits. my only salvation was that I could still work on my thesis, while taking the subjects.

neway, sebab berangan nak cepat habis, i have to take about 5 subjects every semester.

i am already freaking out.

this semester sahaja, my jadual is quite packed. i am taking:

1. visual culture (told prof but havent register properly)

2. communication and aesthetic (blom register)

3. forschungpraktikum

4. Verhandlungen des Subjekts" - Forschungsseminar. Wir sind nie passiv gewesen. Konzepte des Mediengebrauchs von den Cultural Studies zur Actor-Network-Theory Teil II

5. Seminar für DissertantInnen: Qualitative Kommunikationsforschung - Metatheorien, Methoden und Forschungspeispiele rekonstruktiver Erforschung von Medien und Kommunikation

All this will contribute to 33 credits. As you can probably see, 3 of the subjects will be in Deutsch. Also, muss ich viel Deutsch sprechen um meine studium einfacher machen.

On top of that I am thinking of taking this subject: Zirkulationen des Politischen" - Forschungsseminar Fragen - Strukturieren - Analysieren - Argumentieren - Organisieren but takut plak i have so many on my plate kan?

the graduate centre told me to abishkan my 30kredit, present my proposal in jan/feb and then register for more courses in summer semester. lepaih tu, i might also stay back during summer holidays to take summer classes. *nanges*

Selain daripada pulun nak attend kelas bagai, mak kena juga menyiapkan thesis mak ittew dek non. I hanya akan menghembus nafas lega setelah semua registration for this semester is completed, which means, it will be next week! lepas dah attend the first classes of each subject and fully register, baru la nak rasa puhh..lega. gittew. kalu idak, haiyoo...

hmm...i am thinking of asking for an extension. how ek?

and the run begins

oh dear. I met the other only person from malaysia who did his phd here and i realised i have got A LOT on my plate.

you see, he told me that i have to take at least 8 classes and present papers in almost all this classes. i havent presented any! and there are forms that I was supposed to fill in masa i took one of the class i was suppose to take but of course mak tak tahu kan? haihh..so many things i didnt know. anyway, this person felt obliged to help me because when i emailed him before i came, he actually DELETED my email, boleh? ye la..dia kan orang glamer uols...so he was filtering emails and secara tak langsung deleted mine. :(

anyhoo, this is what i must do STAT!

1. get my doctoral student confirmation thingy (apparently a thick stack of paper)

2. register for at least 4 classes *matila kiasu!

3. write and finish my 1st chapter by october.

my deadline are as follows:

oct: Chapter 1

November: Chapter 2 and 3

December: Chapter 4 and 5

January: Re-read and Edit

February: Submit first draft

June: Submit final draft

July: Submit thesis

August/September: Viva

meanwhile, mak kena sibuk register for the classes for all semesters. kena catch up uols!!

i can do it!!!

dr tu kata, siang2, buat kerja university like settlekan kelas etc. malam2, tulis. my writing and attending classes has to be done simultaniously.

pastu, dia kata, viva susah! masa batch dia, 20 org viva, 2 jer yg lepas. matila!!!!!!!!!!!!!

tapi takpe, we'll cross the river when we get there, kan? sekarang ni, nak kena concentrate menulis dan juga mengattend kelas.

i can do this! i can do this!

demam rindu

- Dr Sunshine demam, sakit sakit badan, sakit tekak. demam rindu katanya. *smiles*

- Apparently Andi mcm tak de rasa pon mama dia tak dak. or, if ada rasa, is not showing it. he's so independent my Andi. but then again, he calls his papa, mama. so maybe dia ada teringat kat mama dia sket. (fyi: mama dia plak terlebih lebih ingat kat dia. :( )

- finally jumpa the only malaysian who had completed his phd in my uni (under my sv). haiyoh, meeting him made me SUPER risau. doa i can finish on time.

- might be going to salzburg this week. tapi tgk dulu.

- am still getting use to the cold weather. haih.

- decided not to pindah. cannot waste time berpindah randah and all becos nak catch up with my phd stuff.

- err....nak tido dulu. dah pening pening lalat ni. i think im jetlagged.

- i miss my boys.

a new beginning

and so, my new life begins. and boy, its REALLY lonely uols!

i think i would have to develop a new routine. usually, mornings here would be spend with Andi, mandikan, masak, bg makan, main, prepare for nursery. but now, things are different.

anyway, i think i want to move out of this place. its too big for me. and not to mention expensive! a smaller place perhaps is a good answer. lagipon, the lift is not working! pengsan ok mak naik tangga bawak beg 30kg. mujur ada sorang jejaka tolong bawak naik dari 1st floor onwards.

came back to a sweet surprise. got a card from andi's daycare centre with andis picture on it. they also printed 2 more pictures of him at the daycare! best sangat. :)

other than that, i have started reading sikit. must finish my methods chapter by this week. next week nak start on my malay identity chapter.

ada orang ajak pergi salzburg. should i?

hmm...must get ready to go out. problem is, its too cold outside!!tula akibatnya bila balik. kena readjust all over again.

i miss my boys dreadfully.

:(

lagi 2 minggu

i will be in Wien in two weeks. how time flies. i dread the goodbyes. but ironically, i sort of miss my life in vienna.

hari ni, drama air mata dah bermula. its always like that. i always manage to shed tears when i think about leaving my boys.

on the homefront, things are getting a lot better, i guess. you see, i have a weakness. my weakness is that when i love someone, i give my heart and soul. even when i say i would not forgive, my love for him somehow made me accept what had happened. i try to forget, honest to god, i do. but i just can't. you see, when you are in this situation, you will ALWAYS doubt. tapi, i have decided that i would just close one eye, and work my butt off to get what i want, my PhD. lepas tu, i will decide on what is best.

dani....dani is one big boy. great abe (yes..andi panggil dani Abe ok....darah kelate u ols!). i love it when he says : "haha..tataiyo...andi (insert what Andi has done here). He talks a lot. Can read. I am going to miss him and our kissing machine games.

andi, my dear Andi. the one who can miracalously hold his own milk bottle when papa bagi. i don't know how i am going to leave him. he has been my constant companion, dari dalam perut lagi. he has always been with me in Wien. *sob sob*.

neway, doakan semuanya akan berakhir dengan baik.

p/s: am freaking out cos tak kumpul2 lagi responden for FGD (tapi tetap tak buat apa-apa pon!) *matilaaa mak!!!

what if??

don't you sometimes wonder what if? what if i bought a different car? what if i choose to do my phd in malaysia? what if??

you know, when i was in uni, NMK proposed to me. at that time, dia baru confirm kerja. to this day, i can still remember it. we were having teh tarik at a stall dekat signboard celcom tu. and he was telling me that dia dah confirm kerja. i was like, oh..ok *mode: blur*. then he proceeded to tell me that, bila dah confirm kerja, he can choose to withdraw his EPF money and opt for pension, or otherwise. then he said...EPF i ada about 15K. and i was like, oh..ok *note: masih blur*. then he said, what if i guna duit tu and masuk meminang u?? and i was like...wha?????? i never said yes.

the thing is, i felt like i could never accept him because he had misused my trust. honestly, i felt really loved when i was with him. cakap je teringin makan connetto tgh malam...zass....tiba2 ada special delivery. or, penat berjalan kaki balik ke dorm..zasss...tiba2 ada orang jemput. or, kesempitan wang nak makan properly...zass...ada orang bawak pi makan. however, despite all that, NMK had once, earlier in the relationship, cheated on me. he broke my heart. shattered it into pieces. so much so, that when he promised me that he will change, i still had doubts that he will. even when i knew i was then the only one for him, i still cannot believe it. even when it was him that i saw lepas istikharah, i still cannot accept it. for the thought of him cheating on me when we are married will forever haunt me. because he already had a history. how could i?? how could i believe him??

but now...now i wonder what if guys who were 'players' when they were young are the ones who turn out to be honest and ready when they are married? what if, it is the honest faithful guy masa muda yg will turn out to be a cheater selepas kawen, just because they didnt 'experience' it all when they were young?

what if?