Saturday, October 30, 2010

booked!!

Yeay, I have settled all the bookings for my UK trip. *lompat lompat*.

dah book flight, train tix, tix to london, accomodation. yeay!! so far, everything is within my budget. the most expensive, is of course accomodation in london, tapi lantaklah labu. tu pon dah ok dah sbenarnye. (ucapan terima kasih buat dzul sbb tolong bookkan accom for me in London and ayang kerana sudi bagi mak ''balik kampung' ke rumah uols!)

Anyway uols, this wiill actually be my first time jadi tourist sensorang nanti di kota london tu!! hmm....i hope the transportation services are as efficient as the ones in wien. i am not that worried because everybody speaks english, so that would not be too hard. cuma nanti nak cari2 tempat makan dan etc. bestnya!! hmm..where can i get free maps??

first day sampai, plannye nak ronda2 sambil mencari tempat tido mak ittew. hari kedua, nak usha tempat2 utk diterjah pada boxing day. boxing day of course will see me boxing the day away. and probably even the next day? i dont know. and then nak fenfeeling tourist juger. tengoklah cemana.

i hope everything would be smooth sailing.

p/s: sesapa yg duduk di london or penah jenjalan ke sana, bagila ai tips places to go, see, eat!!! thanks!!
p.ps: public transportation jalan tak on xmas day??

Friday, October 29, 2010

membuat presentation

haih, sekarang sedang bertungkus lumus membaca untuk bersedia bagi presentation selasa ni. banyak benda nak kena baca.

but you know what? i have decided to work smart. since my presentation would only be for 30 minutes, i obviously cannot masukkan every thing that i read, right? so, i decided not to read everything, and just buat my powerpoints based on 3 articles. aci tak??

*update*
finished preparing the ppt slides for my presentation and also my zussamendfassend for this wednesday's class. so can concentrate on writing my answers for take home test mulai pagi ini! *yeay*

p/s: despite the fact that i would still have to do some work on my xmas break, i cannot wait for it! wohoooo...

Thursday, October 28, 2010

yakin boleh

masa-masa gentar mengejar deadline (yes..its tarikh ajal, hence the word deadline...dateline refers to the date kat papers tuh), teringat plak masa keje kat soratkhabar.

you know, i sometime have to churn as much as 15 (sometimes more) stories per week and our deadline was ussually on wednesday/thursday. Selagi belom saat-saat akhir, selagi tu laaa sempat nak pergi long lunches, manicure, basuh rambut, shopping dan buat perkara-perkara yang tiada langsung kaitan dgn sotry tu. and then, hari rabu tu, tiba2 idea dtg mencurah-curah gittew!!!

i tell you, procastinating is EVIL. tapi i keep on doing that. for instance, i just printed out some articles that i must read in order to prepare for my presentation, tapi, lepas dah print tu, surf internet la, apa la.. haih.

but maybe, just maybe, i work better under pressure?? *matila nak justify*

Wednesday, October 27, 2010

progress

ok. i am done with question no 2 of my take home test. i was trying to tackle question no 1 tapi suddenly realized that i have a presentation due on Nov 2nd and so, will work on that first. i am giving myself 3 days to prepare for the presentation. Kalau boleh, nak habiskan before Saturday. Kalau siap before Saturday, I will reward myself with a trip to the outlet!! heh heh. *matila alasan!

lepas siap presentation, nak siapkan my weekly summary thingy. and then, work on my exam again!

i hope i can do it, insyaAllah.

ketagih

i heart derek morgan criminal minds.

yes, keje menimbun, tapi saya masih tak sedar diri and keep on watching CM.

Sila timbul kesedaran sikit wahai diri sendiri!

tsk.

Monday, October 25, 2010

bila nak mai?

mood untuk membuat kerja masih ala ala non existant walaupun deadline utk banyak benda semakin hampir. ish....i tell you, nak work on my take home exam tu pon, punyelah procastinate. in fact, sampai sekarang, jangankan satu soalan, introduction to jawapan pon NON ADO!! *matila!!*

anyway, i am here to write on my latest purchase which i think is a tad expensive (for me la becos i am very cheap like that). I have been wanting it since i was in the hospital sebab sedap gila bau bila rumet kat spital tu pakai. so sejak itu, asyik usha je kat kedai but was a bit put off sebab harganya. anyway, since my current one dah nak habis, ai decided that its about time i indulge myself and get something i really want! so, dengan tanpa rasa bersalah, i pon belilah lotion idaman kalbu, yang amat sedap baunya dan dikatakan sesuai untuk kulit yg amat kering.

selamat datang ke keluarga skincare chesabb, wahai biotherm baume corps oil therapy. i think my purchase berbaloi cos it should be able to last me for a few months. *matila nak jugak justify*

next, bila krim muka dah habis, ai berangan nak beli krim idaman kalbu jugak. sebab, i think, its about time i take good care of my face, no? usia pon bukan makin muda uols. jadi ai kena la berusaha menjaga kejelitaan, kan?

by the way, i found the best product for my dry feet! its an enriched butter thingy yg wangi giller and tak langsung bau like all those crack heel cream yg i penah try masa kay keyell. i LOVE it!!

ok, sekian.

Thursday, October 21, 2010

bergelumang

saya berlari mengejar deadline.

EVERY FREAKING tuesday: Summary of articles to be discussed the next day (which explains why i have been reading a lot of adorno. ai akan mengapplykan teknik ni masa i mengajar nanti. siap budak2 tak baca artikel dan tak buat summary. its part of the evaluation!)

Nov 2: presentation of dual systems theory (which i have no freaking idea sebab rasa mcm tak penah belajar je. or maybe i didnt concentrate in uni dolu2?)

October 23 - Nov 8: Take home test - culture and aesthetics. (whatdehell is take home test? kenapa lecturer ai tak pernah bagi dulu2? apa yang dia expect ni? *panik*)

Nov 10: Outline of experiment for Forschungspraktikum (have to look for war film clips...help!)

Nov 15: Deadline for abstract untuk paper Visual Culture

Nov 16: Presentation of initial ideas for Visual Culture punye paper

Nov 25: Presentation for Qualitative Kommunikationmethode

Jan 17: Deadline for paper on Visual Culture

Jan 20: 1/2 hour presentation for Visual Culture

Feb 1: Deadline for Forschungspraktikum paper

honestly, i feel so tired everytime i come back, and not, its not only because i have to climb 4 flights of stairs every time. minda macam penat *chewah*.

i feel that time is not enough!! I promised myself to finish chapter 1 of my thesis by the end of the month, and although its almost there, masih lagi tak complete kan!! lari deadline mak!! and kengkonon chapter two should be done in november, tapi tengok je la deadline2 yang ada bulan november ni uols!!!!!! *pengsan*

on top of that, i spend time looking for english translations of articles in my reading list. if tak jumpa, terpaksa guna google translate.

oklah. nak tidur. esok nak kena bangun pagi, baca article yg patut dibaca sebelom kelas, and hopefully finish my summary for this coming tuesday so that i can concentrate on my take home test.

aufwiedersehen.

Tuesday, October 19, 2010

LMAO

i think this is written very witty-ly. :)


i have always loved his writings and thoughts.

Monday, October 18, 2010

little things that makes me happy

dah book flight to Cardiff. Now nak book bus tiket to London tapi tak tahu nak pilih which stop. I plan to stay at MaraHouse. So, which stop should I stop at?? Westminster? Ke cemano?

Next, nak book accomodation pulak.

eiiiii....bestnya! I cannot wait. I think this break would be good after all my hard work. (err...hard work ke ek??heheheh). tapi harus ingat, i have a presentation due the week i come back. and my papers to be submitted. yikes!!!adakah ini bermakna ai kena bawak cik laptop pergi on vacation jugak. haih...looks like it la kan. i guess you've got to do what you've got to. Well, at least I would be with my 'family'. :)

yeay yeay.

ok.now back to Glee. and after that, Adorno's Zusammenfasend.

Sunday, October 17, 2010

rindu

saya rindu sama budak yang gambarnya kat atas tu.

today is exactly two weeks that I am without him. This is my second time being seperated from him for a long duration of time,the first time was only for 12 days. I was sick and when i looked at old pictures of him when i was sick tu, i realised how thin he was. and itsuddenly dawned to me that was probably because i didnt give him enough to eat and susu. sedih pulak bila fikir. and guilty to boot.

this time around, i left him in good hands. he's now with Papa and AD (which he calls Ni or Abe) and my mom and along. so i know he is being taken care off really well. he's eating well (had 1/4 of his Papa's subway and also suka olive like the brother!!). so i should be happy.

tapi.

tapi today i broke down.

i broke down because i miss this little boy so much. he has been with me here since day 1. since he was in my tummy. he has always been with me. i cannot help but keep on looking at his toys. sniffing at the part of the bed he used to occupy and his bantal.i miss hearing him panggil mama, kacau i masak and even when i am taking my shower. i remember how our bedroom would be super messy with his toys. i miss having him snuggling with me malam-malam. i miss looking at him sepahkan almari. i miss berebut laptop dgn dia. i miss him so much.

its so lonely. tapi, at times like this, i would always remember an entry Suzy once wrote in her blog.

i can do this right?



i miss my boys.

Friday, October 15, 2010

Malay, Malaysian, Muslim and proud of it.

Hari ni, saya sengaja bangun awal untuk ke institut kajian antropologi untuk suatu seminar. Kenapa ai interested sangat nak pergi? Sebab, presenter tu, iaitu seorang non-muslim yang claimed that she was from Malaysia tapi mengajar kat uni seberang Mesia, was going to talk about Islam and Malaysian politics.

Now, i felt that it would be interesting to listen on a non-muslim view about Islam in malaysia, plus, before going, i wasnt sure if she was indeed malaysia so i wanted to make sure she got her facts right. (gittew...macam la ai ni arif sangat tentang malaysian politics and etc...but i do read about it ok, from both leftist and right-ist point of view). anyhoo, i found her talk disturbing. I know, she has the right to her own views and etc. but when this view affects the image of my country and muslims in my nation, i felt perturbed. perlukah uols question the syariah court and malaysian jurisprudence. okla...i mean, from her talk and her pictures which i saw was sourced from malaysian insider, i knew which side of the fence she is standing in. the way she pronounces mahath.ir pon dah semacam ok!

anyway, she actually put pictures of malays stepping on the cows head, the church bombings, the rally outside high court when li.na.j.oy appealed for the religion status to be changed in her ic, pciture of that mount everest climber who died and was buried as Muslim against his wifes wishes. She was talking about how more liberal Malaysian Muslims were emmigrating. Err.....to be honest, i wasn't really confortable with what she showed. To me, she was painting a picture as if our county are bombarded with this aggresive muslims who would bomb places or hold rallys when they are not happy with something. and she said, the government backed up this people.

So, dengan muka panas and berdebar-debar, I voiced my opinion. I was the last person to ask her a question and I said: I am a Malaysian Malay Muslim and I am really disturbed with the way you portrayed Muslims in our country. I would like everybody to know that not all Muslims in Malaysia are like that. Then I asked, what do you mean by Liberal Muslim? There's Muslim or non Muslim. We abide by rules stated in the Quran. Those are rules which some may not follow. But still, those are RULES.

And then, I told her, as in LJ's case, in Malaysia, the constitution clearly states that a Malay is someone who is a Muslim. Beragama Islam. Dan, because of that fact, her religion cannot be changed in the IC. If tukar agama dalam IC, maknanya nanti kategori atau pengkelasan Melayu di dalam perlembagaan Malaysia akan secara otomatik tukar. So, macam mana kita nak pertahankan hak-hak melayu yang ada? Religion, is the only thing that is left to help define us as Malay. Kalau bercakap bahasa melayu, any tom, dick or harry can belajar the language, betul tak? So, what will differentiate Malays from the other races? By our religion. Dan dalam IC, hanya Melayu sahaja yang akan ada tulis Islam kat dalam IC dia.

Lepastu, she also said Malaysia banned Arqam because it had political intentions. Err...excuse me. So, to that, I said, One of the main reason Arqam was banned was because the way they practiced Islam, not because of political intentions. Dorang anggap their leader was so special kan? Macam mengaggungkan sangat leader dia because he was believed to be the decendent of Nabi Mohamad S.A.W. Tapi, kita, sebagai orang Islam should agungkan Allah. Bukan ke macam tu??

Then, she said, as she was replying to my comments, that the malays portrayed in her slides are just a minority (ha..masa mula-mula presentation tak de pulak nak buat disclaimer macam tu kan?). She said that Mesia is a peaceful country and bla bla bla...and she didnt mean to offend me or what so ever. tapi , tetap dia tak jawab soklan ai pasal liberal muslim.

pastu ,masa sesi minum2 kopi, she came to me and said..oh, i didnt mean theres liberal muslim. there wasnt much time so dia guna je term tu. oh. ok. but i still think that doesnt make it ok. because she did sort of implied that more muslims are migrating because of the laws imposed on them (tak leh minum alkohol...yg sebenarnye mmg diharamkan dalam Islam kan??) and that they were not free. Pastu she said, interfaith talks should be encouraged so that people would understand other faiths better and etc. hmm...i guess the idea of interfaith talks is kinda ok. tapi honestly, i am scared if being too open about discussing pasal religion and ethnicity would bring back memories about bloody culture clashes and etc.

hmm..what say you?

Tuesday, October 12, 2010

yakin boleh

and so, i have been to 2 classes. both were ok lah kot. i mean comm and aesthetics, i think i can understand but visual culture is still a BLUR. the lecturer asked us to look for something we would like to work on for our paper (due in January) and to present the abstract of whatever we wanted to do in november.

what is actually confusing was that, i was asked to look at things accroding to the anthropological perspective as opposed to cultural studies punye perspective. but i dont know about u, i think both perspectives mcm lebih kurang je. lecturer kata, kalau antrhopology, they will question what ppl think of a phenomena and how ppl intepret it...err..ok.

so, i have decided to actually work on my findings in focus group discussion yg telah dibuat untuk projek visual culture. but i am going to twist it around to, how these young ppl see themselves being represented on tv. something to that effect lah..will think about it more esok.

other than that, my culture and easthetics kelas katanya ada take home test. matila mak!! tak penah hokei mengalami take home test ini. i mean what is expected of you?? i know i must write at least 2500 words per question but how many references should i have??? anyone can give me an idea??it starts end of next week. *yikes* sementara itu, my kiasu mode is sky high sebab telah men-reserve buku2 yang lecturer mention di dalam lecture. hih hih. yela...dengan harapan akan berguna dalam take home test nanti. hiks.

hmm..esok kelas petang...so pagi i plan to go to the library.

p/: is fissler a good brand for periuks???

Sunday, October 10, 2010

kemahuan atau keperluan?

hmm....u know, the hooded winter jacket i have has been with me for 2 wonderful winters. this would be its 3rd winter with me. sebenarnye, jauh di sudut hati, rasa mcm nak beli winter jacket baru!!! but i feel guilty nak spend my euros because its still kinda pricey (altho i saw a few at hnm for 29.90euros). should i wait just sabar and wait for the sale (which entah bila), or beli jer???? haih. menyesal pulak tak beli masa end of season sale last winter.

pastu, rasa teringin nak lotion biotherm. ni sebab terpengaruh dgn rumet masa masuk spital dulu. sedapnya bau dia but its 29.90euros. hmm...maybe boleh kot cos lotion saya sangat tahan lama. so, maybe after my current one habis, boleh la ek? justified kot, kan??

pastu, i am dying for a pedicure tapi from what i read at the viennaexpat forum, kat sini mcm tak best.

neways, am contemplating about booking my tickets. i mmg akan pergi uk. well..going to cardiff first, then off to london for boxing day, insyaAllah. should i book my tickets now, or later?

selain itu, saya tengah cari tukang buat grill area bangi/kajang. siapa boleh rekemen kat i??

Friday, October 8, 2010

teman baik ahkak

semenjak balik dari kl ni, ai malas amatz nak masak. the last time i ate rice was on monday. and tetiba bangun pagi Sabtu ni, fenfeeling nak makan nasi pulak! kalau boleh keluar beli nasik lemak ke nasik dagang ke or nasik berlauk JJ (ya ampunz, sedap ok nasi berlauk JJ ni, kena beratur lagi nak beli uols..its in kelate btw), sanggup ai pakai jaket semua pergi beli. tapi apakan daya, dah tak ada. so instead, i gigih masak nasik kat rumah.

tapi sadly, dalam byk2 groceries beli this week, ai baru tersedar yang ai tak de plak beli bawang. haih!!!bawang tak ada, tapi dah terbeli sotong semalam. jadi angan2 nak masak sambal tumis sotong terkubur begitu sahaja. so, my next solution was, to goreng telur mata sapi! makan dengan kicap kipas udang yg dibawa khas ittew, serta serunding ikan bilis yang yummylicious. yum yum.

dalam pada mengorek gobok, baru tersedar yang ai lupa pack my precious ikan bilis dan udang kering. *nangis* terus ai sms mak untuk poskan.

oh..lupa nak bagitau teman baik i skarang. sebab malas masak, teman baik ai adalah roti, vegan sandwich spread, vege nuggets,potato-cheese medallions, and freezer to fryer/oven stuff like frozen vege lagsana and pizza. fyi, ai tak pergi lagi kedai halal utk beli ayam ke etc.sebab tula ai makan vege stuff je uols...senang bleh beli kat normal grocery store.

ditambah dengan naik turun tangga 4 tingkat hari-hari (well, almost everyday lah), agak-agak boleh kurus balik ke ai ni?

tapi..cemano nak kurus uols..mulut ni jap jap ngap jajans! haih.

beratur masuk pustaka

for the first time in my life, ai was outside the library before it actually opened. heh heh. sebelum ni, sokmo beratur kat luar jualan gudang jer uols. apakah ni semangat baru??

anyhoo, dah sexcited dapat masuk library terus la aim for pc yg dekat hujung belakang tu. sekali, datang orang tua serabai (yg makin serabai dah busuk ya amats! baju pon kotor uols!) and he sat next to me. haih...tahulah uols rindu kat mak sebab tak nampak 3 bulan kan?? namun mak tersenyum jer uols sebab honestly i think he is such a charachter. dia ala-ala pelakon tambahan yang presencenya dirasai.

dalam senyum-senyum tu, ai tetap tak berapa nak tahan dengan bau dia uols...and his constant habit of clearing his throat ditambah dengan nak hembus hingus tu. so, being a typical malay yg bersopan santun, ai collected all my books and pretended to go out, only to sneak back in to a pc kat depan dah jauh dari orang tua serabai ittew. ihiks. yes u ols, ai takut gak if dia tetiba mencaruts kat ai ke sebab terasa hati cos move tempat when he came to sit next to me.

oklah. ai nak buat kerja.

p/s: ai rasa nak mengamalkan konsep surrendered wife mulai sekarang.
p.p/s: ordering red velvet cuppies for hubby. my sis asked what was the occasion and i told her, we don't need an occasion to give gifts, kan??
p.p.p/s: AD wants a Handy Manny cake for his birthday, and party packs and for mama to bring it to his school. err...but mama is in vienna. how ek?

Wednesday, October 6, 2010

100m

today, i went to the student centre. found out i am in the new doktorat system.

then, i went to the graduate center, and found out that i have to take subjects amounting to 60 credits. my only salvation was that I could still work on my thesis, while taking the subjects.

neway, sebab berangan nak cepat habis, i have to take about 5 subjects every semester.

i am already freaking out.

this semester sahaja, my jadual is quite packed. i am taking:

1. visual culture (told prof but havent register properly)
2. communication and aesthetic (blom register)
3. forschungpraktikum
4. Verhandlungen des Subjekts" - Forschungsseminar. Wir sind nie passiv gewesen. Konzepte des Mediengebrauchs von den Cultural Studies zur Actor-Network-Theory Teil II
5. Seminar für DissertantInnen: Qualitative Kommunikationsforschung - Metatheorien, Methoden und Forschungspeispiele rekonstruktiver Erforschung von Medien und Kommunikation

All this will contribute to 33 credits. As you can probably see, 3 of the subjects will be in Deutsch. Also, muss ich viel Deutsch sprechen um meine studium einfacher machen.

On top of that I am thinking of taking this subject: Zirkulationen des Politischen" - Forschungsseminar Fragen - Strukturieren - Analysieren - Argumentieren - Organisieren but takut plak i have so many on my plate kan?

the graduate centre told me to abishkan my 30kredit, present my proposal in jan/feb and then register for more courses in summer semester. lepaih tu, i might also stay back during summer holidays to take summer classes. *nanges*

Selain daripada pulun nak attend kelas bagai, mak kena juga menyiapkan thesis mak ittew dek non. I hanya akan menghembus nafas lega setelah semua registration for this semester is completed, which means, it will be next week! lepas dah attend the first classes of each subject and fully register, baru la nak rasa puhh..lega. gittew. kalu idak, haiyoo...

hmm...i am thinking of asking for an extension. how ek?

Tuesday, October 5, 2010

and the run begins

oh dear. I met the other only person from malaysia who did his phd here and i realised i have got A LOT on my plate.

you see, he told me that i have to take at least 8 classes and present papers in almost all this classes. i havent presented any! and there are forms that I was supposed to fill in masa i took one of the class i was suppose to take but of course mak tak tahu kan? haihh..so many things i didnt know. anyway, this person felt obliged to help me because when i emailed him before i came, he actually DELETED my email, boleh? ye la..dia kan orang glamer uols...so he was filtering emails and secara tak langsung deleted mine. :(

anyhoo, this is what i must do STAT!

1. get my doctoral student confirmation thingy (apparently a thick stack of paper)
2. register for at least 4 classes *matila kiasu!
3. write and finish my 1st chapter by october.

my deadline are as follows:
oct: Chapter 1
November: Chapter 2 and 3
December: Chapter 4 and 5
January: Re-read and Edit
February: Submit first draft
June: Submit final draft
July: Submit thesis
August/September: Viva

meanwhile, mak kena sibuk register for the classes for all semesters. kena catch up uols!!

i can do it!!!

dr tu kata, siang2, buat kerja university like settlekan kelas etc. malam2, tulis. my writing and attending classes has to be done simultaniously.

pastu, dia kata, viva susah! masa batch dia, 20 org viva, 2 jer yg lepas. matila!!!!!!!!!!!!!

tapi takpe, we'll cross the river when we get there, kan? sekarang ni, nak kena concentrate menulis dan juga mengattend kelas.

i can do this! i can do this!


demam rindu

- Dr Sunshine demam, sakit sakit badan, sakit tekak. demam rindu katanya. *smiles*

- Apparently Andi mcm tak de rasa pon mama dia tak dak. or, if ada rasa, is not showing it. he's so independent my Andi. but then again, he calls his papa, mama. so maybe dia ada teringat kat mama dia sket. (fyi: mama dia plak terlebih lebih ingat kat dia. :( )

- finally jumpa the only malaysian who had completed his phd in my uni (under my sv). haiyoh, meeting him made me SUPER risau. doa i can finish on time.

- might be going to salzburg this week. tapi tgk dulu.

- am still getting use to the cold weather. haih.

- decided not to pindah. cannot waste time berpindah randah and all becos nak catch up with my phd stuff.

- err....nak tido dulu. dah pening pening lalat ni. i think im jetlagged.

- i miss my boys.

a new beginning

and so, my new life begins. and boy, its REALLY lonely uols!

i think i would have to develop a new routine. usually, mornings here would be spend with Andi, mandikan, masak, bg makan, main, prepare for nursery. but now, things are different.

anyway, i think i want to move out of this place. its too big for me. and not to mention expensive! a smaller place perhaps is a good answer. lagipon, the lift is not working! pengsan ok mak naik tangga bawak beg 30kg. mujur ada sorang jejaka tolong bawak naik dari 1st floor onwards.

came back to a sweet surprise. got a card from andi's daycare centre with andis picture on it. they also printed 2 more pictures of him at the daycare! best sangat. :)

other than that, i have started reading sikit. must finish my methods chapter by this week. next week nak start on my malay identity chapter.

ada orang ajak pergi salzburg. should i?

hmm...must get ready to go out. problem is, its too cold outside!!tula akibatnya bila balik. kena readjust all over again.

i miss my boys dreadfully.

:(