terima kasih wgkk

dengan ini, saya ingin merakamkan ucapan jutaan terima kasih kepada insurans saya kerana membantu utk bayaran bulanan pump susu saya.

dan terima kasih kepada penaja kerana meenanggung bayaran insurans saya.

Alhamdullillah.

p/s: bagus juga jenama ameda ni.

nekad

i finally found the brochure!

will go and get me that pump tomorrow. its very very frustrating to pump dgn pump yg kejap2 mampus ok.

i hope it wii be easy to get the pump.

bila pam susu rosak

saya rasa sangat frustrated.

semasa sedang mengpam susu untuk dijadikan stok buat anakanda tersayang, pam tersebut tiba-tiba berhenti. memang sebelum ini pun, sejak saya memulakan aktiviti mengumpul stok susu, pam tersebut sudah buat hal. suctionnya kadangkala tidak begitu kuat. tetapi, selalunya, it worked beautifully.

adakah ini kerana pam tersebut telah berusia hampir tiga tahun and that my sister also used it, albeit with different spare parts yang come in contact dengan bahagian badan dan susu yg diperah (saya mementingkan kebersihan)?

adakah ini bermakna saya kena mengeluarkan sejumlah wang untuk membeli pam baru?

malam ini, saya akan cuba gantikan pengunaan elektrik kepada bateri. kalau ia tidak juga menjadi, maknanya saya harus sewa pam. ye. saya beruntung kerana di vienna, ada terdapat perkhidmatan menyewa pam susu. dan ia percuma kerana semuanya dibayar oleh insurans. cuma kena keluarkan deposit sebanyak 30euro, which i'll get back when i return the pump, obviously.

hmm...tetapi, di mana saya letak kertas yang mengandungi maklumat tentang cara-cara menyewa pam itu, ye?

*garu kepala*

p/s: saya menggunakan medele mini e

sigh. my class will commence in two days. cant believe it. my days of berlenggang-kangkung tanpa memikirkan homework is about to end. and my life as a student cum single mom will soon begin.

anyhoo, went to andi's peads today and she said that he wasnt wheezing anymore. Alhamdullillah.and, he gained almost 100g. hihi.

i also went to my gynea today and finally weighed myself! i am very very very happy cos i lost 11kg so far. i need to shed another 7kg to reach my pre-wedding weight and another 10kg to my high school weight, boleh? yakin boleh. sebab i really want that walk in wardrobe yg Dr Sunshine janjikan jika saya pulang ke key ell dgn my decreased weight ittew. oh...and my cyst is 7cm.

on another note, i realised that my class finishes on july 3rd(bday saper hari ittew yer..).my mom and dani will be leaving on june 24th. so technically, i need to find some mode of childcare for 8days. am thinking of hiring a baby sitter tapi tak jumpa lagik.

also, must print the borang to apply for krippe tomorrow. i really hope that there wont be any night classes in sept/october cos majority of krippes tutup at about 18uhr. so how??

InsyaAllah, i will find a babysitter or krippe. I really hope so.

I am so going to miss my Huggeroonimooni (dani) when he goes back nanti.i tell you, my boys punye nama pendek2, tapi i pi bagi nickname pepanjang..hikhik. andi's is squeezymeezywheezy.

the one where i got stranded

i guess i can scrap off one more thing out of things-i-have-yet-to-experience-list.

stranded in a lift. yes folks. andi and i were stranded in a lift at our apartment on the way up to our floor.

mulanya, when i reached my apartment's lobby, i could here someone banging her tongkat in the lift, which was at the 1st floor. tapi mak abaikan, and just tekan the butang.

the lift came down, the women got out and started making small talk. saya pon berbual dengan my deutch yg schlect ittew. pastu, i got in the lift and was about to press the button when that women got in, and cepat2 tekan no 1. at tingkat 1, dia pon keluar. pastu, i tried to tekan tingkat 4, tapi tak bleh la plak. awat? and..i tried to open the door, pon tak bleh. sigh.

so, i called my mom and mintak tolong dia press the lift button. but it didnt work either. so i pressed that alarm button and was connected to the service centre.

"i am stuck in a lift" sesambil sora andi menangis at the background.

my mom panicked ok...siap turun sampai ke lobby bersama dani yang berkaki ayam (panik punye pasal,mak tak sempat sarungkan dani's sandals.also, she came down in house slippers u ols!)

in about 10minutes, the service person datang to the rescue. Alhamdullillah.

tapi, tetap haku terpaksa hangkut Dani (1st trip) and stroller (second trip) to the fourth floor.

inilah antara pengalaman yang tidak dapat saya lupakan. terbatal niat saya untuk pergi makan aiskrim with dani petang tu, cos takut lift rosak lagi sekali.

on another note, i achieved a mile stone today. for the first time ever, i went out with andi tanpa bantuan keluarga tersayang! i was initially scared takut dia nangis ke, but he didnt cry and tido in the stroller. (chop..before this penah kluar sorang with andi, but i dukung-ed him). and, while pushing the stroller, terpikir plak..this is how it would be like when my mother and dani leaves. tsk.

ok..tu jer.

esok nak pi embassy to collect andi's bc and off to a makan2 kat rumah auntie!

p/s:saya dah beli buku sekolah. yeayness!!
p.p/s: doc said andi's lungs sounds better but i hv to go again on tuesday for a check up/
p.p.p/s: i also have an appointment with my gynea this tuesday!

at 6 weeks, andi is

- 4.66kg

-54.5cm

-has bronchitis

-kena guna salbutamol inhaler...tsk

p/s: doakan anak sy sehat ye. tq. esok kena jumpa pead lg.

look what i did at almost 6 weeks

i shocked mama by turning while falling asleep. but after a while, i woke up cos my left hand terhempap under my body.

are you proud of me mama?

esok tepat sminggu my darling dr sunshine left vienna's soil.

so far, dia dah pi buat spek baru.

buat eod (every other day) on call.

beli ps2.

sengaja balik lambat to have dinner with his friend yang on call that day.

tgk kereta dia yg tersadai di workshop.

dinner with his sis.

i think he's trying to fill up his time. mcm besok, locumplak. n he never does locum on thursdays.

i, meanwhile, have been busy trying to adjust tomy new routine. tp tetaplakan x buat stok lg!! tsk. n andi plak skarang tak cukup ok if 4oz! tskkkk.how? must be more rajin. *note to self: set alarm so can bangun to pump*

will be bringing mom n kids to mariahilfer esok. nk beli books for my darling dani to practice writing n recognising abc. we are trying to teach him colours and later on shapes. my dr sunshine bought him building blocks to help teach him that, tp he still mixes them up. takpe. kayuh pelan-pelan, kan dani baby? mama hopes u'd be able to recognise abc n shapes n colours during your stay with me. ada any mommies yg boleh kongsi tips how to teach toddlers those things? in turn, mak bleh kongsi tips on how to help your toddler hafal surah lazim. :)

gasglow unibersity

it took me a year plus to write to gasglowunibersity to decline their offer to pursue my phd there. i wrote to them 2 days ago. teruk kan?maybe, mak masih menyimpan sedikit harapan to work with the famed philo.

they wrote back and said that it was a pity that i did not get any funding and should i get any form of scholarship at all, they wld welcome me with open arms gittew.

so now, mak nk belajar bersungguh-sungguh to lepas my deutch n now menyimpan angan2 to maybe request for philo 2b a join sv or smthg. kita tgk apa my future sv kata ek.

my new routine

i am trying to create a routine with the boys. trying very hard to establish a routine before i start my class on April 23rd.

pagi, bangun. i try to wake up early so that i can pump susu. tapi on most days, i feel so tak larat that i just tidoooo... i will ussually wake up when dani wakes up. ihiks. i figure thati need the rest, no?

bangun, buat breakfast. but if dani decided dia nak tukar diaper, mandikan dani first, then baru buat breakfast. after breakfast, mandikan andi.

then, give milk, kemas bilik, kemas meja makan, do dishes and layan dani main.

time flies i tell you. tiba2 dah kol 12. time to prepare lunch pulak. if sempat, i mandi first, if not, cook lunch dulu.

then lunch. after lunch, pump again. pasang bob the builder for dani (if he has been good and tak kench merata). if not, keluar pi buat groceries or etc.

petang, laundry. sidai2 baju. lipat baju. then, time to cook dinner pulak.

pastu dinner. lepak depan lappie jap. put andi to sleep. put dani to sleep. and i also sleep. i should actually pump lagi sbenarnye.

i need to buat stock to be used masa pi kelas nanti. right now, ada 1 jer dalam freezer. 1 dalam fridge. tp dlm fridge tu utk nanti nak kluar pi groceries.

right now, Alhamdullillah, everytime pump, dapat about 4oz. tu pon 1 side jer baru...tak dan the other side cos one of the boys wld bemaking a fuss. huhu.

hmm...i really hope i larat and my stamina would increase. penat ok hangkut bath tub, and baldi2 air for the bath. angkat andi yg semakin gain weight to cuci lepas dia berries. angkat dani. vacuum rumah ni. tapi mak tak bleh complain cos i asked for it, kan?

neway, if only afz was here.

kosong

hmm..my first night without you babe.

kinda tough to handle two kids on my own. i know mak is around but i try not to burden her and cuba buat all i can.

i bagi dani susu ounce tonight, after giving andi his milk.

andi tak tidor lagi but i minta tolong mak pegang andi and i went to buat susu for dani plak. mak wanted to bagi susu to dani but i insisted to be the one to put him to sleep. just so that i can continue your nightly rituals with him. so that he won't forget.

sayang mama tak?
sayang papa tak?
sayang andi tak?
sayang banyak ke sikit?
Fatihah
al-Ikhlas
bismillah
suap susu.
Ayat Qursi

i wanted to read ayat Qursi before giving him milk tapi dani kata bagi susu dulu baru baca ayat Qursi. huhu. I guess I did not observe the ritual bebetul.

I will try my best to remember everything you pesan.

I will try my best to raise the boys properly with you away.

I rindu you sangat B. I keep on imagining that you are on one of your walks, or tgh baca buku anatomy tu outside.

i rasa pelik to be the last one to go to sleep tonight, to be the one to switch off the light and to basuh pinggan segala.

i rasa kosong.

my boys

saya sedih.

Dr Sunshine just left for KL. It will be another 8 months before I see him.

I know time flies, tapi i feel very sad. emo. helpless.

Tapi, I have to be strong for my boys.

He left with lots of nasihat. What to do with the boys, the house, because ever since he came, i have been so dependent on him. I was too dependent on him. All I did was jadi Andi's milk machine and cook and kemas rumah sikit-sikit. lain semua, Dr Sunshine yg buat.

Starting today, i will have to do everything. Bathe the boys, tukar diaper, basuh berak, buat laundry, vacuum rumah, washthe dishes, throw the garbage, buat groceries.banyak tu.

first things first, esok nk kena register kat uni. pastu sign up for the next level. then, if ada masa, bayar insurance. and if still have time, pi Dredsner and ask if what i have is sufficient. if not, hmm...kena tanya apa lg yg diperlukan. must call landlord to ask for document.esok petang, must do a bit of groceries...byk brg dh habis. i must also start doing my budget. have been ignoring that since Dr Sunshine came.

ok. i want to put andi down and start the laundry.

please doakan that i will be able to cope with everything. i am starting to risau..huhu...

i am more relaxed when Dr Sunshine is here. but a few days before he left, i started being worried about things.

i guess, i worry because i know that now, i only have myself to depend on.

I miss you my Sunshine.