note to self

- make appointment with sv to find out whats going on with my phd status.
- prepare for proposal presentation, should i tak dapat ikut old structure
- must read read and read!!

ps: i am actually excited because i just found out that the post grad school here actually gives out scholarship to students to go abroad to do their research. maknanya, masa katakan mak nak buat literature review, i can actually go to UK y'all (provided dapatlah scholarship ittew u ols). so now, tu yg excited terlebih ni. tapi mak fenfeeling nak pi US lah...how about that? ini harus dijadikan motivasi untuk berjaya!!!

200grams baybeh

200grams may not sound much but it means a lot to me. ever since Andi was diagnosed as underweight, i have been quite particular about his food intake.

at the check up last week, he was 6.9kg. but today...today he was 7.1!! Alhamdullillah....me constantlyfeeding himhad paid off.

andi wakes up at 5-ish in the morning. after changing his diaper, i would feed him about100g brie (brie tu macam nestum...just add water...it has milk in it). then, susu and he will ussually doze off. bangun je, i would give him his fruits (aprox 100g) which i just buy dalam ala-ala yoghurt pot tu. then, he will main2.i will mandikan him, and feed him brie again. tapi this time sket jer, maybe 50g gittew. pastu we'll get ready for daycare. on the way to daycare, Andi will minum susu...

at the daycare, he will eat his bubur/vege/potatoes (about 100g) and sometimes like today, finish up another pot of fruits (100g).balik rumah...susu time. sampai rumah, main...n brie again...i try to give him 100g but slalunye tak habis. depends la cemana.

and so, this has been my routine which i try to follow sebaik mungkin. i even bought that kitchen scale so that i can properly weigh his food intake.

next week, i hope to see more weight gain.

p/s: x sabar nak dapat susu weight gain apetah next week. then i can make oats with that!

mari naik tram

- tak faham kenapa ada orang pakai seluar londeh sampai nampak underwear. ye, mak faham mungkin dia nak ikut fesyen hip hop kot. tapi skang ni sejuk dek non. and yang paling penting, kalau betul pon nak ikut fesyen, pastikan underwear itu tak BERLUBANG kena gigit lipas yer!

-i made a promise ot myself to read at least 2 articles a day. i have finished my first one. lepas settlekan andi nak baca yang kedua pula.

- im going to paris from feb 18-feb21.weeeeeee!!!!!!!!!! err...sape ada cadangan where to stay yang murah?

-im going to prague on feb 11-12. yeahoooooooooo

- izards coming to visit from feb 9-14th!!

- hampa dengan sale. sebab pegi dah lambat..yang tinggal pon serdak2 sajer.seb baik dah beli jaket andi haritu. hmm....mungkin nanti ada lagi sale *kena positif!*

- might go to UK during the easter hols *waves at ayang*.

- summer hols begins on july 12. hmmm....nak pastikan sampai bila cuti ittew supaya boleh beli tiket ke mana2 destinasi. mungkinkah Spain? atau Greece?

- i blame the weather for making me makan so banyak.

- oh...i think im going to buat andis food diary. today dia makan 100g of nestum for breakfast, about 100gm of veges+ubi kentang for lunch. ni, im making him nestum again utk malam ni...100gm. hmm...cemana nak increase his food intake ni? *konfius*

- oh....ingat nak enroll andi in a kinderspielgruppe....macam best jer...its in the morning...and 15euro sajer.

salah saya

aiyoo....since andi demam, kerja saya tergendala. i left it at that...sigh....17 more pages okei....*double sigh*

neway, andi is now better. no fever but still coughing n ada flu. yesterday, i took him to the hospy to hv him checked for his underweight issue. kesian andi. they took about 5 tubes of blood, his urine sample and did an ultrasound of his tummy n head. first time ok mak tgk org ultrasound kepala. i really pitied him as he was crying throughout sampai suara pon non ado. tsk

hv to go again next week to get the results. hope everything is normal!!

neway, this is the inner geeky side of me talking, but i must say that Hall's suggestion to look at selective perception theory ada jugek betulnya.anyway, what he said abt encoding/decoding ittew sgt beneficial to my study!

hmm...need to go out n beli brg seperti diapers, bb food, veges, ayam. i wish i can just buy it from 1 place..kan senang? ni x...haruslaaaaa mak menapak ntah berapa km nieh nak beli brg2 semua.

hmm..u know, dalam sibuk2 jaga andi kan, konon x sempat baca buku...tapi tgk youtube sempat pulak. how? n also tgk cerita suraya. oh....eus dah tahu...i heart remy ishak. syyhhh....jgn bgtaw dr sunshine ek.

ok...nak siap2 keluar pergi tgk sale kat mango, h&m and c&a beli groceries.

p/s: oh...alangkah bagus if mak ader guru disiplin mcm ayang...harus mak buat kerja sungguh sungguh...*imagine remy ishak pegang whiprotan.

my first meeting

today, for the first time ever, i sat down with my sv to borak2. i apologised profusely as i had to bring andi along (x dak bbsitter n meeting not within daycare punye time) but he was so cool about it. x kesah pon n siap asked me to unstrap andi supaya andi boleh crawl around.

anyhoo, i gave him my proposal n he said he will read through n we will work from there. pastu, dia tanya, which university do i come from in mesia? mak cakap la uni mak. pastu, agaknye dia ingat semua uni sama jer..dia tanye..kenai tak drabuhassan? i said of cos kenai. rupanya dia juga sv kepada mamat ittew (yg dolu2 i emailed tapi he didn't bother to reply my mail okeh! sentaps jap). n i said. "funny thing is, he didnt have to learn deutsch before beginnning his phd". n sv said, when abuhassan was there, it was not a regulation to have basic german. it was only made a regulation masa mak masuk uni. what luck kan?

pastu, dia tanya how long have i been here. i said, since nov08. but i could only register for phd courses this sem as i had to do 1 year of german. n we talked about the new phd structure in which phd is 3 thn instead of 2 thn (yes..tht abusassan was lucky okeh!). so sv said...takpe..i akan bertarung di medan perang so that you pon buat phd dgn struktur lama. i said...tolong sgt. saya amat2 menghargai apa yg prof nak buat untuk saya ni. sebab lagipon, scholarship saya untuk 3 tahun sahaja..jadi sangat seswai if saya dapat ikuti struktur pengajian yang dolu.

then, he asked for my phone number. i really hope that i get to buat the phd ol structure itu. then, i wouldnt have to be here for another additional year. i want to finish my studies as soon as i can. btw, sv kata supervision hanya 2 atau 3 kali per semester. adakah ini bermakna mak lebih banyak masa untuk berjalan-jalan? Astaghfirullah...tadi baru bersungguh nak habis cepat. okeh. fokus.

F.O.K.U.S!

p/s: do you want to know what is motivating me to finish on time?
- dani crying for me over the phone
- F.I.L yg berkata, make sure your sacrifice in leaving ur family is worth it. oleh itu boys&gurls, its do or die! we can do it!!!!!!!!!!!

beli jangan tak beli

its end of seaosn sale!!! wehoooo.....

and....i succumbed to the madness of buying. i bought

- winter jacket for andi
- pants for andi
- 2 shirts and 1 pants for dani
- dani's boxers
- crawling shoe for andi
- winter jacket for me (MNG 15euro@75hinggit jer!!!)
- socks for me

i still plan to buy sweaters and etc tapi h&m punye sale tak havoc lagi...still light-light. i like their sweater for kids specially the bulu2 once cos if andi pakai, sure peluh2. maknanye really warm la kan??

berat badan

anak saya underweight. haih...beza betul dengan abang dia yang dulu badan macam ruas tebu gittew. i remember that Dani never pakai diaper size M...he went from S to L terus...gittew. tapi si Andi ni plak...lain macam. hmphh...

anyway, he lost weight pulak!!! sigh. as of 10 months, he's only 7.06kg. ringankan? nak cakap tak makan, he has good appetite. nak cakap sakit, he's so active.

doctor suspects that he's not getting enought calories and that i'm supposed to increase his food intake. we were alse refered to a childrens hospy just to have some tests done. sigh. tapikan...one thing i really respect, the paed NEVER asked me to feed Andi formula. instead she suggested to bagi milchbrei (bubur susu atau dengan kata lain nestum yg campur air tu jer.) i memang hari2 bagi kat my son.

i plan to go to hospy on wednesday.hope everything is ok.

and..dengan semangat nak increase calories si Andi, i bought Avocado. yes!! esok nak beli Salmon pulak cos its high in Omega 3 kan?

sementara dah ada Avocado ni, sape tahu cemana nak buat jus alpokat?

We are Family

It has been a week since Dani started school. He's getting used to the routine. Did I tell you we opted to send him for the afternoon session? so, school, for Dani, starts at 1.30 and ends at 4.30. but since he goes to school with the van, he leaves my moms place at 12.30 and only sampai rumah at 5. by the time he comes home, he'd be super tired. he will makan, mandi and tido kepenatan. god knows what he does in school.

neways,

Dani
- Dani wears an undershirt to school cos nak ikut Papa
- eats apples and biscuits for break (yes...mak fenfeeling nak suh anak mak makan healthy snacks! matila mak sendiri dok munching on chocolates!!). next week nak mintak along belikan mixed nuts and raisins for him to snack on.
- recognizes alif ba ta.... which he just started to learn this week (sejuk perut mak)
- can read stengah buku peter n jane 1b (thanks to Dr Sunshine yg meng-coach anak terunanya tanpa jemu sebab takmo kalah dengan anak neighbour yg kebetulan satu kelas dengan Dani)
- recognizes 1,2,3,4,7,8
- shares his bekal with his friends in school (ye...kena timbulkan sifat sharing is caring dari kecil lagi...walaupun most of the time Dani tak suka share his toys...even with his brother)

And Andi pulak
- adjusted well in nursery today!! yeay!!! I managed to leave him and pick him up 5 minuted before the picking up time.
- can let go of the meja/kerusi/sofa/anything that he hangs on to for support while standing up.
- geleng kepala when he doesn't want me to suap more food and sometimes he even says 'Nein!' or 'Dah'
- can pronounce mama clearly. calls dani Aba or sometimes Abe. papa pon dia bleh panggil.

Mama to the boys
- struggling to understand what is cultural studies. apedia cultural studies to weiihh?????is it a study of culture made popular by the Brits which looks at how messeges are being represented? how its influenced by economy, politics, assumptions and etc?? what? i am so confused. HELP!
- tapi, dalam pada tu ada niat nak pi OUtlet weekend ni sebab mengenangkan sale nak abis end of this month. apekah?

Papa to the boys
- bought a tennis raquet sebab fenfeeling nak kembali kepada zaman kegemilangan dia main varsity tennis. *matila laki mak nanti ada six pack balik bini dia maseh dengan one packnyer..tskk
- has arranged to play tennis with people he doesnt know sebab semangat punya pasal

sekian lama

it has been so long since i posted something here. i really wanted to but my lappie crashed on me! and so i had to live sans internet. what torture i tell you. nasib baik a week after it crashed i flew home. phew.

i have so many things to tell ....i dont even know where to start.

hmm..lemme see.

dani has started school. my lil boy is all grown up. we decided to let him naik van from the first day itself. he was so excited!!! kitaorang mak bapak pon over excited. anak naik van pon amik gambar. first time pakai uniform pon amik gambar. semualah nak ambik. hihi.

so, we waited for him in school. i saw him naik atas and of course me, the kepoh mama nak pi jugak tgk anak kat ke;as. but...bila naik. i couldnt find dani! he wasnt in his class. so, i asked around and rupanye dia pi masuk kelas 5 years old. dah siap kaler2 dah okeh anak ku ittew.

pastu, he was brought to the right class. n then he sat down and the teacher gave him colour pencil and a piece of paper. dia colour sikit and told me: mama...dani rasa dani nak ikut mama balik la..dani dah habis kaler dah. and ladies and gentleman...thats when the drama started!

he didnt want us to go home. when we tried, he ran after us. last2, Dr Sunshine had to tipu sunat cakap nak move the car..so dia pon bagi. n we left.

tak lama lepas tu, our neighbour (who incidentally sent her daughter to the same kindy) called, cakap dani menangis nak papa. but we ols didnt go to kindy. he came home in the van...and he looked happy. bila tanye what happened he said "dani merengek. cikgu bawak masuk bilik toys". ramai tak orang kat bilik toys? "ramai..."

next day he was ok/

me: dani...dani ada buat kawan tak?
dani: dani ada cakap dengan girls and boys tu, tapi dorang nangis je. ada sorang tu dani kata sticker kita sama laa...tapi dia senyap saja. malu kot..

********************************

must do list

-write paper on cultural studies
-set up appointment with sv
-letter to extend scholarship
-shop at ikea (eh...ni nak beli brg keperluan untuk study yer...matila alasan!!)