being a single parent

its not easy. at times i feel like shutting down tapi tak boleh. lazy to cook or do anything at all,but i can't cos i have a baby who depends on me.

this has been a very tiring week and its really taking a toll on me, both mentally and physically. letih u ols!!! i had so many things planned: masak, shopping (tetap dalam list taw!), finish up that book, tapi semuanya tergendala u ols!!! sebab apa? sebab anak saya demam dan begitu clingy sampai nak tidur pon kena tidur dalam dakapan (tapi tetap mama dia sempat nak blog even tho it means bf-ing AA while typing with 1 hand ....multitasking gittew)

i wish i had someone to pass the baby to when he's wailing his lungs out in the middle of the night and i have no idea what to do because i've tried out wahtever i know, n im already tired from everything.

i wish i had someone to tengokkan AA when i really really need to go to the loo but he won't let me cos he''ll start bawling when i put him down macam semalam (harap2 tak dapat batu karang u ols)

i wish there's someone who can help me with the house chores cos even tho i love doing laundry, tapi laundry dah menimbun memandangkan asyik tukar baju budak kecik yg dok muntah jerk... tapi dgn budak yg asyik nak duk bawah ketiak, susah nk buat laundry atau apa-apa sekalipon.

hmm...i knew it isnt easy. i chose this path kan...so nk tak nak, i have to face it. tapi penatttt....and i really really wish Dr Sunshine is here.

doakan anak mak cepat sembuh.

we had an appointment with the dietitian today. basically, we discussed (in bahaso german okeh) Andi's lactose intolerant problem.

It was really good, IMHO. she came prepared dengan print outs n segala mak nenek brochure of jenis2 food yang seswai for lactose intolerant baby. she even told me, kedai apa yg ada jual n etc. so helpful.

yang paling best, i now have a list of food dlm jar, pot, kotak, mengikut brand, yg tidak boleh andi makan. hmm...looks like i'd have to go grocery shopping esok. harini tak bawa andi to daycare cos mcm demam-ish. esok kena hantar cos i have lots of things to buy.

btw, am having a makan2 thingy this saturday. with the stove asyik fuse meletup, i decided to make spaghetti bolognese, salad with eggs n croutons and garlic bread. tu yg esok nk kena gak pi beli belah...need to get stuff for salad n buy garlic bread. :)

ciao.

sofast

dalam sekelip mata jer, andi is turning 1 year old. he'll be one on march 2nd. it felt just like yesterday that i was on that ambulance going to the hospy..hihi.

neway, at 11months plus andi:

- point to hidung(but always my hidung) when i say nose

- says dah, nak, mama, papa, bear, that, bye (sambil wave wave) and sometimes 'nein'

-geleng kepala when he doesn't want something

- can walk!

- likes to feed me his biscuits. (hmm...maybe i should let him try feed himself and explore? tapi i dread to think of the mess he would create)

- can pretend to talk on the phone

- can sometimes obey simple instruction (unless masa tgh nak bawak benda tu..tetiba distracted by another toy or something).

- loves the plug. i wonder why?carije peluang nak cabut plug from socket to no avail, thank god!

- drinks apple juice form the bottle juice and ONLY apple juice. letak air?? dia akan gigit2 je puting tu. susu? dia akan muntahkan balik isi kandungan. apple juice?? minum minum minum. hmm...adakah ini penangan haku yg suka apple juice masa pregnant? (come to think of it la kan, masa pregnant dani i loved plain water and dani mmg suka air kosong)

- likes to point at things and say "that". (prolly tiru mama dia yg suka point and say..look..whats that andi??)

- points to pictures in books and words sometimes mcm dia betul2 baca.oh...even gambar kat dallam tram pon dia point2 sambil pot pet macam explain kat mama dia something (i do that to him masa dia kecik to distract him from crying..hihi..now dia plak dok buat kat mama dia)

will add when i could think of more.

btw, today he decided that he wanted to walk in the tram dari depan sampai belakang. sigh.seb baik laaa tram hampir kosong cos i left my stroller begitu saja.

parent teacher meeting

so my mother went to Dani's first PTA meeting with Along and Dani in tow. menurut teacher shu, dani is a friendly boy and smiles at everyone. mak kata semua cikgu kenal dani n i asked mak how does she know? mak kata sebab dani masuk je semua teacher sibuk hie hie kat dani. oh, ok.

menurut teacher, dani loves singing. how does she know? sebab dani masuk perkarangan kindy saje dah start menyanyi. even dalam van pon, menurut laporan van driver, dani akan mendendangkan lagu untuk menghiburkan kawan-kawannya. kat rumah tak payah ceritalah. kejap-kejap bila ingat lagu yang belajar kat sekolah terus break into a song.

dari segi pelajaran, dani dah boleh trace abc n 123 along the dotted line. mak saw the book. walopon taklah perfect (yelah..what do u expect from a 3 year old kan??), mama dia tetap bangga ok. n he can colour (or scribble actually) within the line tapi ada gakla yang tersilap bajet dan melepasi garisan penamat.and dia pon ada belajar iqra'. dani ada bagitahu mak yg dia nk ikut aimi n omar belajar mengaji. err..tapi if he goes, he'll just be doing the same thing he does in school. so, Dr Sunshine kata, bila pindah BSP nnti baru cari ustaz for the boyz. baek boss!

overall, i am very happy with what i hear. teacher tanye mama dani ni kat mana? mak kata in vienna. pastu teacher kata...oh...padanla dani ada bgtaw tapi saya ingat dia pegi sana untuk melawat sajer. gittew!

p/s: mak saya begitu terkejut bila suatu hari, tiba-tiba dani kata: sami-Allah-hu-liman-hamidah. i wonder where he heard it from??

insaf

sapa yang mengenali i really well would know that i don't like to kemas rumah. like really. i really really dont like to kemas rumah. of all the house chores i like,i love laundry. and..err..thats about it. tu pon i think its because i used to ikut atok jemur kain, n teman dia lipat baju. hih hih. but...ada but..i only knew how to cuci baju guna washing machine selepas berkahwin ok. laki mak yang ajar. sebab? sebab sebelum tu, i never had to do my own laundry. *matila membuka pekung di dada!!

since young, i hardly ever had to help with house work. i guess being the youngest has its perks. hih hih. all i had to do during raya masa sume orang sibuk nak masak/tukar langsir/ masuk kuih dalam balang/ rebus ketupat was susun kasut kat luar rumah and isi duit raya. yes, up till i was in college. hih hih. how manja was i, man?

even bila dah kerja dan kawen pon, perkara paling teruk yang disuruh buat masa raya was to isi kuih dalam balang (which i bet any budak pon boleh buat) and potong kek letak kat atas doily pastu letak atas my mom's queen anne collection. oh..ada sekali tu, i had to vacuum...tapi that was only because akak had to raya at her husbands house. otherwise, mak lenggang kangkung jer u ols.

so, when i got married, imagine the culture shock i got! tu pon....masa baru kahwin, we stayed with my parents so technically i only had to take good care of the room and buat laundry. tapi...tu pon i failed miserably. its not easy to change someone who is used to her life like that for 26 whole years okeh. (fact: i send my bajus for dobi masa zaman universiti. )i have always had someone to clean up after me.

then, pindah rumah sewa...aiyo amma appa...tu lagilah mak rasa donia macam nak tunggang terbalik you alls!!! dengan toilet lah, ruang tamulah, bilik tetamulah, bilik sendiri lah, toys dani yang merata lah...aiyoyoyoyoyo....so...to help me out yang memang sedia pemalas and tak berapa pandai kemas rumah ni (ececeh...tetap konon tak nak mengaku tak pandai), i hired an aci to help clean the house once a week. jadik..takdelah mak sibuk nak mop, lap habuk, lap kipas/cermin bagai sebab ada orang buatkan. syukuuurrr!!!!!

mulut Dr Sunshine tak pernah berenti pot pet pot pet dok encourage bini dia ni jadi seorang yang rajin mengemas. ok...mak bukannya tak kemas LANGSUNG. i only do it when the mood comes (like sekali dalam sebulan kot..hikhikhik). and....yang pelik bin ajaibnye, i like everything to be clean and tidy TAPI i dont want to be the one cleaning and tidying it, boleh? *matila perasan jadik mam besar!

anyhoo, i am glad to tell you alls that that phase is OVER. well, maybe not over over. but i am finally getting there. getting over my geli feelings. (ye..saya tak suka mengemas sebab geli dengan habuk, tak suka buat dishes sebab geli dgn benda yang melekat kat jaring2 tu, HATE to buang sampah and also cuci toilet sebab geliiiiiiiiiiiiiiii).

vienna telah mengajar saya to get over the geli feelings, cos if i dont do it, sapa lagi nak buat kan?so i now vacuum every three days (dan ada jugak yang every day, depending on the mess Andi makes), clean the toilet and bathtub every two days, clean my kitchen table top EVERYDAY. wah..sangat impress ok. laundry tak yah citer la kan dah kata favret kan. so memang sure tip top punye. hih hih.

kenapa nak cerita semua ni? sebab. it has been about a month since i started cleaning my dishes, lap table top and stove every night after andi goes to sleep. dulu dulu (yes, even masa dah kat sini pon) slalu je bersepah kitchen counter tu. pagi2 barula sibuk2 nak basuh pinggan periuk bagai. tu pon cos nak masak breakfast kan. skang...tidak lagi. (eh..terasa macam iklan pulak)

sigh..dengan itu Dr Sunshine, i rasa i deserve a really really good kitchen cabinet dengan splashback yang vass sebab i dah pandai jaga kitchen *winks at Dr Sunshine*

notakaki: sungguhpon saya malas, saya bukan pengotor. selain itu, saya amat behave apabila berada di rumah orang lain kerana saya otomatik menjadi rajin dan tak kesah buat keja rumah. bak kata orang, masuk kandang kambing mengembek.

susah beb

- andi apparently ran at the nursery today! and he walked a lot, so much so that one of his carers predicts that lagi 2 minggu sure boleh jalan punye.

- am excited with ayangs suggestion of cuti-cuti uk-eropah dgn gang projek!

- benci bila gaduh tapi dalam keadaan long distance.

- had hot white chocolate with raspberry chocolate cookie yang amat divine while reading about audience studies. sigh. next time nak try hot dark chocolate plak n nak makan with muffin. can only afford this treat once a week.

- i have been diligently walking from andi's dc to the uni to catch the tram to go home. normally i'd just hop on a tram yang dekat dgn daycare and change at the uni. decided to do that since i am SO F.A.T already!!!! i cannot fit my levis. geram dgn diri sendiri. i blame the weather. we'll see if i can fit into those jeans next month. if idak gak..kenalaa mak start morning walk pula.

- i'm probably gooing to hv a small makan2 at my flat for andis birthday. tp tgkla cemana.

- dani dah boleh recognise letters till kha n dah x gagap doa makan. apparently, today he pretended he was the teacher and my mom, his student.

- am hooked on naomei plak dah sebab ada adiputra....oh...*waves at remyishak*

- nak save duit cos nk beli handbeg. :)

prague

Prague cantik!

i wish i had longer time there to explore the quaint little alleys. its really nice tau to walk around the old town square and poke around. cumanya..it was really really cold. snow was a tad heavier than in wien but otherwise its ok. pushing the stroller in thick snow sangat adventure ok. i was contemplating about asking Dr Sunshine to buy me that sturdy stroller yg jogger with that tayar kena pump tu, tapi...

to me, things in prague are relatively cheaper than wien. sepinggan nasi beriyani ayam tandoori terbaek , was only 6euros. setimbun pulak tu nasik dia...dan mmg terbaek becos mak actually terserempak dengan malaysian students and tanye "mana dia kata ada nasi beriyani terbaek kat sini" and theyols (bless them) terus bawak mak ker sittew!

hotel pon murah saje. cuma satu je benda yang mak tak gemar! public transport dia yang sungguh tidak baby/OKU friendly. bayangkan..nak turun ke underground station terpaksa turun naik tangga. stress ok. seb baik pegi dengam my fren n her hubby. jadi, idaklah mak jadik superwomen sangat. if not, harus biceps and triceps mak lebih toned and defined!

pastu. i left my phone at home. my phone is my camera so i dont have ANY pictures of prague! terpaksa pergi sekali lagi!*matila alasan*

this time around i only bought the usual fridge magnet, hrc tshirt for Dr Sunshine, that replica of astronomical clock and a bookmark for dani and a toy for andi oh and a drawing of prague.

neway, since i loved amazing race so much, i was actually recalling the places in prague which were featured in amazingrace asia!! best sangat..hihihi. i was literally walking down charles bridge trying to look for the statue which they hid one of the clues. and..i was showing my friends the prince hotel, in which the contestants had to rescue a damsel in distress. :)

hmm...i actually have 2 weeks of not doing anything and am thinking of going somewhere. tapi ke manakah?

me: sapa nama teacher dani

dani: teacher shuhada

me: best tak?

dani: best. tapi teacher shu garang.

me: garang macam mana? (here's me being paranoid if the teacher pukul or tengking my son!)

dani: kalau ada budak tak behave, teacher shu marah

me: dani behave tak?

dani: behave.

p/s:i like the way dani pronounces behave (be-hef)...comel jer...stress sket kat be. hihi.

p/p/s: i really hope dr sunshine and dani can come here in june so that we can go for a family holiday!! i wanna go to spain, or greece or morroco or all three?? hihi. *berangan mode*

lawatan ke chocolate factory

Dani went for his first school trip yesterday! his kindy brought him to a chocolate factory. this is what he told me:

- mula2, dani tunggu uncle nizam pastu naik van pergi sekolah.

- lepas tu naik atas (to class) and then turun bawah balik pastu naik bas

- ada peacher ruby, peacher yati dengan peacher shu

- lepas makan-makan cokelat semua, kita balik

- dani duduk sebelah adam

- ada dua adam tau mama...satu duduk sebelah dani, satu duduk depan dani

- masa pergi tu, tak hujan

- dani tido satu kali dalam bas pastu satu kali dalam van

my baby brought back a plastic filled with chocolates for his papa (tapi dah dibuka...hihi).

i am so happy we decided to send him to school. he is now not that timid cos bila pi playground dah tak segan2 nak main. he can sing a lot of songs. recognizes 1 to 10. dr. sunshine n i are very happy with his development. :)

bila orang tak reti buat kerja

have i ever told you that prior to me going for cuti belajar, my borang permohonan citu belajar yg tebal giller itu hilang? yess..the unlatihan telah menerima tht form from kedekanan (ada bukti cos they had to sign when they recieved the form) but tah macam mana boleh hilang dlm simpanan.

and now...dorang hilangkan pulak my borang laporan kemajuan pelajar!!! i am very confident that they recieved it because i posted it together with my claims, in the SAME envelope, which they recieved. borang tu plak takde...how can?

n...becos of that, i got my first surat peringatan from my pengerusi pusat about this matter!! isshh...geram x yah ceritala cos org lain x buat keje bebetul, kita plak yg kena. apakah?

now, i shall isi borang tu again. sv is in BKK so i think i shall just post proof tht i did n passed my german course and post tht first. later2 baru antar with sv punye. kata nak asap kan? plus, its so not my fault. tu yg geram sangaaattttttttttttttttttttttttttttt tu.

lets just pray they wont stop my allowance.

beraluh

here are things i just found out abt dani the past week

- knows alif, ba and ta

- can recite doa mkn albeit a bit gagap

- loves school! how do we know? cos at times, he'll get ready for school dari pagi lagi walaupun van only picks him up at about 1230pm. pastu. if lambat dialog dia : "kalau macam ni, malaslah dani nk pegi skolah". tp tak de pon malasnyer...van sampai jer terus gumbira

- knows how to sing burung kakak tua

- going for a field trip to a chocolate factory this coming monday! (ni...mak pak pon sibuk excited sekali)

- has grown taller cos can already wash his hands at the sink woithout having us lift him up

- ada kawan nama syahirah and danish.

- cakap baik dan berlapik if he wants smthg. he doesnt demand...he doesnt really ask for it...tp he'll say : sedapla chocolate ni papa.

dani: papa...esok papa kerja dekat mana?

papa: papa kerja dekat selayang.

dani: dekat selayang ada jual super rings tak?

papa: ada

dani: papa ada duit tak?

papa: ada, tapi berapa?

dani: super rings tu murah je. 20 ringgit

papa: papa tak ada 20 ringgit

dani: kalau macam tu tak apala. nanti bila papa ada 20ringgit, papa bawa balik super rings ye?

of course la Dr Sunshine terus pi beli..hih hih hih.