it hasn't been easy.
I had to carry on with life as usual when Mr Sunshine left for Ganu. Once again, we are on a LDR. I hate it, tapi dah takdir, nak buat macam mana kan?
Now that he is not around, I have to do everything. Dulu pon memang i yang buat school runs, cook, clean, buat laundry and etc. But when he is around, he at least helps me wash the dishes, pick up the boys from babysitter kalau dia balik kerja awal, look after them (or more like layan karenah Aaron) so that I can have some time to mandi or cook. But now? Now, I sometimes cook while carrying Aaron. I bath with Aaron knocking on the door (tp ni dah less frequent, Alhamdullilah).
On top of that, I have to endure all this while being preggers.
Tapi hari ni or last night actually, I broke down. Just when I thought I am ok and maybe can survive this for another year, something happened.
Someone tried to break into my house. It was around 10pm and I was in bed, fiddling with my phone when I heard bunyi macam tingkap kena bukak, followed by some noise...macam bunyi my son main dengan periuk kinda sound. I knew that AA and AD are both asleep in their room opposite my room. I thought I was imagining things. Pastu, I pergi check and true enough, the window was opened!!! I immediately closed it and checked on my boys. Call Mr Sunshine and he told me to get the boys into our room and lock the door while he calls our neighbour.
Our neighbour came, and checked my house, tak ada apa. I was soooooooo scared and felt so helpless that I cried. tsk. That night, I slept with a lot of lights switched on.
Pagi tadi, my neighbour datang again to just have a look see since dah cerah and easier to tgk and true enough, dekat tingkap blakang (the boys bedroom) ada palm prints and also finger marks. tsk. Whoever it was must have tried to go in through the boys room as well tapi nasib baik, both windows which they tried tu, the grill jenis tak boleh buka.
Alhamdulillah, we are safe and sound. But, I am still traumatised with all this and I burst into tears when I think about it.
Honestly, I feel like I have had enough of LDR. :( It sucks. I hate having to be independent, brave, jadi my son's pillar of strength. Unless you are going through what I am going through, you won't even know how I feel. Its difficult. Nak kena protect your sons who are oblivious to what is happening when you yourself are scared to hell.
On top of all that, I really wish Mr Sunshine would come back tonight, to check up on me and give me a hug. But, I don't think he will. :(
Wednesday, September 25, 2013
Tuesday, July 23, 2013
harus terpisah
i am so overwhelmed with work!!!
I feel like I have so many things to do but I have so little time to do it. This goes for both kerja di ofis dan di rumah. I am usually flat by 930pm with all the work.
Di office, I kena:
a. prepare lecture notes for 3rd sem. Why I kena ajar 3rd sem pon i tak tahu.
b. kena buat article pasal student yala
c. kena correct my chapter in srikandiphd
d. kena start buat systematic review
e. jadi sexytary conference
f. my dbp book!!
g. Abstract for conference
sangat penat ok. Lecture dah la 2 kali seminggu. Maka, bayangkan how I kena prepare notes for something i have never taught before. Malas pon ada gak especially time time bulan posa macam ni. Like perluke uols??
On top of that, I am still not well. Masih pekak sebelah. Masih selesema dan batuk. Esok nak ambik result from my tb screening. hope its nothing lah.
Ok...nak prepare for next weeks lecture pulak.
Saya amat berharap saya tidak blank semasa lecture sat lagi.
I feel like I have so many things to do but I have so little time to do it. This goes for both kerja di ofis dan di rumah. I am usually flat by 930pm with all the work.
Di office, I kena:
a. prepare lecture notes for 3rd sem. Why I kena ajar 3rd sem pon i tak tahu.
b. kena buat article pasal student yala
c. kena correct my chapter in srikandiphd
d. kena start buat systematic review
e. jadi sexytary conference
f. my dbp book!!
g. Abstract for conference
sangat penat ok. Lecture dah la 2 kali seminggu. Maka, bayangkan how I kena prepare notes for something i have never taught before. Malas pon ada gak especially time time bulan posa macam ni. Like perluke uols??
On top of that, I am still not well. Masih pekak sebelah. Masih selesema dan batuk. Esok nak ambik result from my tb screening. hope its nothing lah.
Ok...nak prepare for next weeks lecture pulak.
Saya amat berharap saya tidak blank semasa lecture sat lagi.
Monday, July 15, 2013
di kejauhan
my convocation went well!
masa flight nak balik tu, while lining up to check in, ada pekerja emirates tanya siapa akan ke KL? So me and Mr Sunshine angkat tangan and they pulled us aside. They said that the flight has been overbooked and is it ok if we go back to KL on another airline (which sampai KL lagi cepat) and if we do that, they will give us 2 return tickets to Vienna for free!!! So, we said OK!! Tapi, the guy said, come back at 940, and we'll see macam mana, If not, we'll book you guys on business class. Oh...alright.
Turns out, ada a few passengers tak datang. So we had to go on that flight (no free tix!) tapi dapatlah we ols merasa naik business class.:) apa pon, Alhamdullillah.
ANyway, I havent been well. It has been three weeks already. Bila nak baik ni???
On top of that, Mr Sunshine dah pindah to KT. So, its just me and my boys. Dahla tak leh skype and all. Cuma we call each other quite often. But it feels weird to not be able to see his face. I hope he'll be back next week.
Ok..tu je.
I am feeling super lazy.
Tapi, dalam lazy lazy tu, I made butter chicken yesterday sebab terinspired dgn my friend. he he he.
Dont know what to get for iftar today. Hmm....
masa flight nak balik tu, while lining up to check in, ada pekerja emirates tanya siapa akan ke KL? So me and Mr Sunshine angkat tangan and they pulled us aside. They said that the flight has been overbooked and is it ok if we go back to KL on another airline (which sampai KL lagi cepat) and if we do that, they will give us 2 return tickets to Vienna for free!!! So, we said OK!! Tapi, the guy said, come back at 940, and we'll see macam mana, If not, we'll book you guys on business class. Oh...alright.
Turns out, ada a few passengers tak datang. So we had to go on that flight (no free tix!) tapi dapatlah we ols merasa naik business class.:) apa pon, Alhamdullillah.
ANyway, I havent been well. It has been three weeks already. Bila nak baik ni???
On top of that, Mr Sunshine dah pindah to KT. So, its just me and my boys. Dahla tak leh skype and all. Cuma we call each other quite often. But it feels weird to not be able to see his face. I hope he'll be back next week.
Ok..tu je.
I am feeling super lazy.
Tapi, dalam lazy lazy tu, I made butter chicken yesterday sebab terinspired dgn my friend. he he he.
Dont know what to get for iftar today. Hmm....
Wednesday, June 5, 2013
Macam banyak aje kerja
Yes uols....feel a bit overwhelmed with work!!!
You see, a few months back, I went to a workshop jointly organised by DBP. After the workwhop, I was so bersemangat that I submitted a book proposal. Yesterday, there was a follow up punya workshop and I was supposed to go but I had something to attend to in the morning. So had to sms the organised cakap I was going to be late. Sekali, tengah hari they called and ask if I can come in NOW to because those DBP reps are very interested in talking to me. I terkulat-kulat lah kan sebabnya dahla lambat...
Jadi, after lunch hour (in which I tak sempat pon makan lunch), I headed to the workshop and presented my proposal. Guess what??? They were REALLY interested in my proposal. Padanlah beria-ia uols!!! If it works out, they even want to plan a book launch, inshaAllah. Who would have thought kan?? The only catch is, they want the manuscript ASAP and I already have sooooooooo many things on my plate right now.
Ok....nak makan lunch. sambung later. CIAO!!!
You see, a few months back, I went to a workshop jointly organised by DBP. After the workwhop, I was so bersemangat that I submitted a book proposal. Yesterday, there was a follow up punya workshop and I was supposed to go but I had something to attend to in the morning. So had to sms the organised cakap I was going to be late. Sekali, tengah hari they called and ask if I can come in NOW to because those DBP reps are very interested in talking to me. I terkulat-kulat lah kan sebabnya dahla lambat...
Jadi, after lunch hour (in which I tak sempat pon makan lunch), I headed to the workshop and presented my proposal. Guess what??? They were REALLY interested in my proposal. Padanlah beria-ia uols!!! If it works out, they even want to plan a book launch, inshaAllah. Who would have thought kan?? The only catch is, they want the manuscript ASAP and I already have sooooooooo many things on my plate right now.
Ok....nak makan lunch. sambung later. CIAO!!!
Tuesday, June 4, 2013
long distance kembali
Dr Sunshine is now a qualified orthopedic surgeon and will now be known as Mr Sunshine. Following his new status, he will be transferred to a new hospital. This time around, it will be Kuala Trengganu. :(
I have written before on my intention to pursue post doc. One of the main reason is because I wanted to find a way in which I will be able to follow him. Tapi tiba-tiba, he got KT. That caught us offguard! KT was NEVER in our plans.
So, the big move will be next month. From then on, I will be conducting a one women show. With three boys pulak tu!! I need all the luck I can get. Thought of hiring a maid, tapi its too late lah nak hire one. I think I can handle it, inshaAllah. Just have to learn to take it easy.
Things are also working out work wise. I secured a grant and another one tu macam dapat positive response but no black and white so I cannot say anything la kan. I have 1 book chapter out, inshaAllah one edited book soon and a journal article. To be honest, I need to buck up on writing my papers. I have one up my sleeves and another one tu, baru nak mula research on the topic. On top of that, I berangan nak apply for FRGS but we'll see how it goes. If I dapat the other grant, maybe I can hold on dulu to my FRGS application.
Ok lah. Heading to the airport......Am so dreading July. :((
I have written before on my intention to pursue post doc. One of the main reason is because I wanted to find a way in which I will be able to follow him. Tapi tiba-tiba, he got KT. That caught us offguard! KT was NEVER in our plans.
So, the big move will be next month. From then on, I will be conducting a one women show. With three boys pulak tu!! I need all the luck I can get. Thought of hiring a maid, tapi its too late lah nak hire one. I think I can handle it, inshaAllah. Just have to learn to take it easy.
Things are also working out work wise. I secured a grant and another one tu macam dapat positive response but no black and white so I cannot say anything la kan. I have 1 book chapter out, inshaAllah one edited book soon and a journal article. To be honest, I need to buck up on writing my papers. I have one up my sleeves and another one tu, baru nak mula research on the topic. On top of that, I berangan nak apply for FRGS but we'll see how it goes. If I dapat the other grant, maybe I can hold on dulu to my FRGS application.
Ok lah. Heading to the airport......Am so dreading July. :((
Tuesday, May 7, 2013
Pasal post doc
So, 2 unis replied.
1 said i can come anytime. :) The other didnt understand the concept of post doc and ingat haku nak apply for phd. hehe.
So now, i nak kena pikir betul-betul dan masak-masak.
I wished there is a way for me to do my post doc with prof.s. Must enquire.
1 said i can come anytime. :) The other didnt understand the concept of post doc and ingat haku nak apply for phd. hehe.
So now, i nak kena pikir betul-betul dan masak-masak.
I wished there is a way for me to do my post doc with prof.s. Must enquire.
Friday, May 3, 2013
mencari
esok will be exactly six month since i registered for work! And now, saya dah sibuk cari tempat untuk buat post doc.
Tapi, susahnyaaaa nak cari tempat!!!
Pertama, susah sebab saya nak buat dalam negara. Ternyata, masih kekurangan professor dalam bidang yang saya plan to specialise in!! *pening*
Ada satu, memang secocok dengan bidang saya, tetapi dari uni tempat saya bekerja juga. Unit latihan kata, majikan tak favour untuk kita buat post doc di tempat kerja. *nanges*
So far, I have enquired at 3 places. I have looked at other places tetapi memang tak ada tempat yang betul-betul sesuai dengan my bidang. Hmm..baru terfikir, post doc ni, seolah-olah sub-specialty for doctors or surgeons. Dan, not everywhere ada bidang yang kita interested in, which makes it difficult.
Kenapa sibuk nak cari tempat post doc? Sebab, I only have 3 years dari tarikh dapat phd to do it and also because hubs may be posted at somewhere in Malaysia, so I am looking at ways in which I will be able to follow him!
Doakan yang terbaik buat saya ya.
Allah knows whats best, kan?
Tapi, susahnyaaaa nak cari tempat!!!
Pertama, susah sebab saya nak buat dalam negara. Ternyata, masih kekurangan professor dalam bidang yang saya plan to specialise in!! *pening*
Ada satu, memang secocok dengan bidang saya, tetapi dari uni tempat saya bekerja juga. Unit latihan kata, majikan tak favour untuk kita buat post doc di tempat kerja. *nanges*
So far, I have enquired at 3 places. I have looked at other places tetapi memang tak ada tempat yang betul-betul sesuai dengan my bidang. Hmm..baru terfikir, post doc ni, seolah-olah sub-specialty for doctors or surgeons. Dan, not everywhere ada bidang yang kita interested in, which makes it difficult.
Kenapa sibuk nak cari tempat post doc? Sebab, I only have 3 years dari tarikh dapat phd to do it and also because hubs may be posted at somewhere in Malaysia, so I am looking at ways in which I will be able to follow him!
Doakan yang terbaik buat saya ya.
Allah knows whats best, kan?
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)