packing 2

i have packed! now tinggal nak masukkan baju2 yang tengah pakai and also the ones we are going to wear till next week. everything muat and there's still room in my luggage, Alhamdullillah.

i will be bringing back 2 bags and 1 handluggage. 1 lagi bag will be left behind and collected bila i come for my viva, inshaAllah.

i have also completed my shopping list for nephews and nieces. now tinggal nak beli ground coffee, chocolates, mugs and some other souviner. pastu i should be done with shopping. if there's more space, then can bring back aaron's toys. if not, next round lah.

esok nak pergi beli coffee and chocolates and cancel my internet subscription. next week nak usha souviner, handle bank stuff and also cancel my insurance.

i called my uni tadi and they said my faculty has approved my application. however, any keputusan still depends on the meeting CB. meeting will be this friday. doakanla i dapat extend ye uols? if dapat extend, syukur sangat. Boleh la I work on more journal articles. I plan to meet my sv and suggest some future collaboration, inshaAllah.

will be heading to insbruck on wednesday awal pagi. woot woot!! cannot wait. :) belum pack lagi for the trip.will be there till friday.

pastu saturday tu, nak purchase tickets, inshaAllah. then, i have to vacuum my flat, clean the toilet and make some last minute cleaning. the new tenant will be coming on sunday (a msian phd student). now i pening...nak still stay here till end of next week atau tumpang my friend's house? i selesa duduk my house, obviously but then ada tetamu yang basically strangers kan. how ek?

i cannot believe my stay here is about to end. It has been good while it lasted. I could still remember how scared I was when I first came here. My nervousness (boleh ke beranak sini? how to buat local insurance? how to buat residence permit? where to stay? language barrier.) I will really miss Wien. :( Must buy that I love wien tshirt for me. hih hih.

patutkah?

patutkan extend cuti belajar?
ye...saya akan just apply for extension. If dapat, syukur Alhamdullilah. if tak,kena start kerja.

patutkah saya try tukar sekolah AD?
ye...saya dah pon ammend the permohonan. Now we are applying to a new school. I tell you, ni baru apply sekolah rendah. Nanti sekolah menengah cemana la agaknya. And i don't even want to think about university!!!! harap2 by that time, i will have the strings to pull, if necessary. hikhikhik.

patutkah risau sebab tak start pon lagi tulis paper and prepare presentation?
ye. tapi perasaan malas tu membuak-buak!! teruk sangat kan? I shall start esok, promise. err..tapi esok nak keluar beli diaper. ok..after that. harus!!!

patutkah risau nak pi foreign place dgn baby?
ermm...ye jugak kot. tapi everything happens at Allah's will. So apa-apa pon, berserah ajelah. I booked a pretty fancy and nice hotel. hih hih. Am sooooooooooooooo excited. So, if tak pi pusing2 the city, lepak2 dalam hotel pon ok kot?

neway, i totally forgot about my bookings at the kindermuseum today! ruginya rasa. dah petang baru ingat. sigh.

esok plan to pi beli diaper and go buy groceries.

p.s: i don't know why, but my tummy hurts. rasa lebam macam lepas c-sect dulu. :( at times like this, i wish dr sunshine ada.

mari kita freak out!

oh nooooooooooooooooooo.....................

suddenly, i realise yang walaupun dah pack 18 kotak of things, i may still have some things which I should have also pack in those boxes. Oh well..menyesal tak de guna, kan?

neway, i have been slacking off since i submitted my thesis. Sekarang tengah mode malas-malas tapi suddenly ter-realise...OMG. I only have about 9 days left before my trip and paper mahupon presentation text and powerpoint satu habuk pon tak buat lagi!!!! *panik* and, i must do my homework on the city like how to get to my hotel, places to visit, things to buy. haih..tu pon tak buat lagi!!!

di samping itu, i juga kena prepare paper for the conference in Japan dan a video for it as well, since I opted for a virtual presentation. *panik lagi sekali* tapi matila..conference fees pon tak bayar lagi. haih. tadi pergi bank tapi LUPA!!! tsk.

lepastukan, i rasa macam nak pergi to one more eu city before i leave. should i go to amsterdam (dan tgk garden kat kuekenhof yang buka sebulan dalam setahun ittew) or pi venice? i am torn between those two lah. I am also planning to go to Salzburg, maybe during the Easter break.

oklah...nak tidur.

esok nak peri return library books, pi photostat some stuff, breakfast at a new place and read an article and prepare my paper!!

lagi satu, i finally went through my vienna guide book and dah start crossing off places i have been to and mark those i want to go.

first up, is to make sure i finish my cafe crawl, at least at the Innere Stadt. I have a list of cafes which I want to try.

Itulah sebab esok nak try pi breakfast at this place. hehe. I also want to try the reputedly best falafel in wien. Tapi, breakfast dulu. Lusa nak pi a sandwich place. hehe.

Aside from that, I decided to take Aaron to the Kindermuseum. Might as well make full use of the facilities here kan? So I have made bookings (yes..kena book a spot uols..dah la only open to crawlers on fridays, at an hour slot) and our first time will be this friday. Cannot wait!!! If it goes well, I shall make bookings for every friday! :)

okie dokie.

bab 6

i am going through the malas phase right not and it definitely does not help when i only have till nov 5th to finish my chapter 6. tsk. so last night, kuatkan la juga semangat untuk membuat sesuatu padahal sebab dah out of tv series to watch. I still have a long way to go and I keep on thinking on how to best present my analysis. Inilah penangan phd ek? tengah mandi fikir, tengah masak fikir, before tido fikir. haha...

what else? semalam konsert dani. thank god one of bestfriend's anak goes to the same school. So like last year, they ol took a video of dani. hehe. :) Pastu, nak cerita. Andi also went to the concert. Dr Sunshine tanya Andi: Nanti Andi concert Andi nak nyanyi lagu apa?

Andi: Bila ecok (the Nora Elena theme song yang bila esok tu)

Dr Sunshine: Pastu lagu apa lagi?

Andi: Cing cing (that money money money song tu)

LOL.

Daylight savings has started to I technicallyhad an extra hour to sleep in today. Tapi anakanda I decided that I cant. hmph.

Orait, back to chapter 6. Going to D's house in a while to bake cookies and cuppies. Yumm!!!

ku kembali

teringat lagu cheerleader kat skolah dulu:

aku kembali dengan tabah hati

kembali lagi untuk memenangi

nombor satu

kami tuju

untuk sampai kemuncak

itulah ku tuju

anyhoo, its exactly a week since i got back!

I have sat for an exam. I have one more exam to sit for this wednesday and another one somewhere in December.

I also have to write a paper in order to get a grade for one of the subjects I took. Needless to say, haprak pon tak tulih lagi. But, I am planning to take bits and pieces of my thesis untuk dijadikan paper ittew. ok tak strategi? hehe.

I have three and a half more chapters to write for my thesis. Taaakkk jugak start2 tulis. Enjin belum panas lagi. Plus, I am still trying to settle hal-hal document si Aaron ni hah.

So, things to do:

1. Print appendix and attachment form to be signed by SV

2. Photocopy Aaron's passport and birth cert and its translation for meldenzettel, insurance and residence permit purposes.

3. Study for exam (only 2 days away. yikes!)

4. Write two papers

5. Write chapter 5.

Ok, hari ni memang dah plan nak print form dan juga pi fotostat bendalah semua. Selain ittew, nak tak nak, mak kena study lah kan. Tapi interesting thing about this paper is that, dia tak nak kita muntahkan semula facts (or rather theories) that we learned in class. Instead, the lecturer wants me to think of a theme, and how would I apply the teory according to the theme I choose dalam mereka research questions, methodology and etc. So, strategi i adalah to study my chapter one (introduction) and try to fit the theories somewhere. hmm..wajarkah thinking session ini dibuat di Starbucks bersama sidekick i??

Anyhoo, I have a trip to Muchen planned for early November. So, I must finish my chapter 5 before then. I give myself until the end of November to finish writing everything, inshaAllah. But of course, this all depends on the workload of the course I am taking this sem, which I think is pretty interesting and bonus point is, its in English. :)

Oklah, sidekick tengah tidur. I should shower. Then, can keluar pi print2 dan fotostat, and maybe pi shopping sikit. hih hih.

kembali bersiaran

i was on a loonnnggggg hiatus kan. But I am back.

I hate goodbyes!

Last night, Dr Sunshine left the boys with my mom. When he said goodbye, Andi tanya, "Kita tunggu mama kat sini ye papa?"

And today, when they got home with Papa, Andi was looking for me. He thought I was waiting at home for them, like I sometimes do. Then dia tanya Papa, mama mana. Papa cakap kat Vienna. Then he said, tak balik-balik lagi? Lama betul mama kerja. tsk.

I miss my boys!!!!!

pantang sorang2

last monday was my first attempt in berpantang sorang while taking care of my 3 boys. Mak aiii.. It was not an easy feat. And my plan to tulis my paper ke laut because the boys were going "mama nak .....", "mama aa/ad kacau". Dengan laundry and housework lagi, memang boleh pengsan!

So, on tuesday, i decided tht ad and aa shld be sent to my moms and aaron and i wld stay at home. Things were much better! I managed to get my housework done in the morning and tgh hari, i started working on my assignment.

Anyhoo, its not easyla pantang without helper. I was already doing housework at 4 days post op. Bukan nak tunjuk kuat ke apa. Sakit tu sakit, tapi if x buat, siapa plak nak buat. Dr Sunshine helps around so that is a blessing. :)

pasal makan, my mom sends over lunch. Tapi today i feel like ordering gcb.hehe. Cuma tetiba realized i only have euros with me. So, ingat pinjam duit aaron dulu. Hehe.

My diet now consists of gallons of water, milo pagi and malam which i alternate with hot choc yg ada fenugreek. I drink strawberry milk as well and try to eat lots of protein. Semua ni to help increase milk production. The hot choc with fenugreek sedap but it makes me peluh so much!!!!

Assignment i tak siap2 lagi. Haih.am still unbelievably quite relaxed about it. Hari ni, i plan to settlekan my chai latte projek and continue my other paper esok. Tula..ingat nak burn the midnite oil tonite to get it done. Cuma tula...my aa and ad tu, if nak tido, nak i ada in the room with them. Bila im in there, i pon join them. Hehe.

Klah...nak rehat2 jap. Headache. Ate ponstan already so i hope it'll go away soon.

walaupun jauh

Sometimes, i have this crazy feeling that Dr Sunshine can live his life without me. Yelah, he looks like he is doing fine jaga the boys and etc. Bila time-time perasaan tu datang melanda, I would feel so depressed and useless.

But, Allah is great kan? And I am constantly being reminded of how even though I feel like he does not need me, I still play a BIG role in his life. :-)

Case in point.

1. I am still the one yang belikan baju the boys. Like today, he was telling me, oh..nanti nak kena update wardrobe budak-budak. I was like, ok. Dalam hati, ai tahu, he's not telling me that because dia akan belikan, but in a way telling me that nanti tu, ai la yang kena pi beli. hehe. Yes, the last time the boys had a wardrobe update was when I was last in KL. And, AA lagilah kesian...dok pakai baju abang dia je, well, mostly lah kan. Maka, balik nanti I must shop for baju for the boys.

2. I still have a say in what our house is going to look like. hihi. Tu ai suka. Sebab, we'll be discussing about it online, pastu berebut lukis plan (and siap compare plan sapa lebih cantik) and share it online. :)

3. I babysit the boys while he does his house chores or tengok football albeit through online. Bukan senang ok nak meleraikan pergaduhan online but Alhamdullillah I manage. Otherwise, I just shout for Dr Sunshine (or call him on his mobile) and he'll come in to see whats up. hehe.

And, thanks to technology, I still get to:

1. see my babies go to sleep and hear them say good night mama and i love you. :) And tadi, since the father was outside watching football, I was babysitting them. AA nak tidur but since the Papa was not in the room (selalunya dia akan mengesot/crawl towards the papa to sleep on his lap or in his arms) dia mengesot towards the computer screen (maknanya towards ME) and fell asleep at bucu katil.

2. play with my babies ie: main tembak2 or makan di kedai where AA will jadi waiter and mintak order and pass me my order to the computer screen. hehe

3. watch movies with my babies.

4. read with them although this is kinda hard because they will be pointing at something and ask me what is it, tapi ai tak nampak! hehe

5. nyanyi with them.

Only 4 weeks and 5 more days till I get to hug my babies!!

macam-macam

1. ada sorang pompuan ni, pakai short dress dengan leggings sahaja. Pastu tertonggeng-tonggeng ambik ape tah kat floor. Haih..tak pasal-pasal ai nampak bontot dia. Soooooo tak perlu!

2. Masa beli gorceries, ai nampak orang minum air susu dalam botol. I thought dia memang bawa susu tu masuk. Pastukan, lepas dah puas minum, dia tutup botol tu, dan letak semula kat atas rack! euugghh....and ai baru je ingat nak beli susu macam tu jugak. Terus kansel sebab tak tahu berapa botol aganya dia dah teguk. tsk!

3. ai tak tahula pasal apa. Tapi i sentap sket dgn orang yg jalan dengan lemah gemalai bila tahu ada appointment to keep.

4. ai bersyukur that daddy pernah bawa makan kat a lot of places. Sebabnya, bila kena makan kat tempat yg memerlukan peng-aplikasian table manners, insyaAllah, saya boleh survive. Ingat ye kawan-kawan, napkin tu, letak kat atas peha. Kengkadang, waiter/waitress tak buatkan, maka kena pandai buat sendiri. Napkin berbentuk angsa ittew bukan semata-mata hiasan. Pastu, rule about the cuttlery is, guna dari luar ke dalam. And, sudu garpu yg dorang letak kat bahagian atas pinggan (not left and right) bukan untuk penggunaan main meal. Having said that, saya tetap makan pakai tangan bila bertandang ke rumah orang. Susah weihh...nak balance pinggan atas peha sambil nak pakai sudu garpu. Lagipon makan nasik kat rumah orang je pon, so I see no harm.

5. sedap jugak makan muesli dgn yoghurt! rasa macam nak makan lagi jer hari ni. Tapi hari ni rasa macam nak makan nasi pon ada. Oh, dan minum iced chai tea latte.

6. Kadang-kadang, susah untuk kita harapkan pertolongan dari orang lain. Betul. Kita mungkin ingat kita dah baik dengan dia, tapi hakikatnya, kita kena sedar, kita je kot rasa baik dengan dia. Tapi dia feeling-feeling 'ada aku kesah', kot. Pelik ok. Sebab bila kita cakap nak jumpa kejap, tak de masa cos nak study bagai dan banyak kali postponed. Tapi, bila ada orang ajak pi majlis makan-makan, laju ajer dia pergi. Maka, kita boleh sedar di mana kedudukan kita sebenarnya.

7. rasa mcm nak makan spare ribs lah pulak.

8. penat nak baca Baudrillard dan kejadian 911. Nak memahamkannya yang memenatkan.

9. penat berjalan kehulu kehilir semata-mata nak submit borang doctoral thesis agreement. Doakan semoga semua diluluskan. :)

siaran ulangan

alahai...guess what?

I would have to repeat the glucose tolerance test. uwaaaaaaaaaa.......semuanya because the first reading (before i had to drink the glucose drink) was quite high. Padahal, lepas test semua, ok je my readings. Tapi tetaplaaaaa nak kena repeat the test. And I thought that its ALL over. haih.

So now, I would have to go on a no carb diet and no sweet stuff. So no more rice (ni i tak kesah sebab mmg dah lama pon tak makan rice sangat), bread (uwaaa...my staple food) and noodle. Have to load on proteins pulak dah. So, i guess it will just be salad and fish or chicken or meat la kan. Terpaksala pergi butcher to get some halal meat.

I guess, no more starbux for me as well!!!

:(

p.s: tapi lepas pikir balik, mungkin ini akan mengurangkan proses weight gain saya yang sekarang in membesar bagai johan! tsk tsk. ai naik 3kg uols dari bulan lepas. Doktor tak cakap apa pon tapi saya adalah amat risau. why? heran betul tau kali ni naik bagai dipump. tsk.

inspired

selepas membaca blog oyis yang pergi exercise, i felt inspired. Truth is, I have planned to start my morning walk months ago, tapi never got around it! Tapi, bila baca blog Oyis, I decided that what she said was right. The most important thing is to start the habit. So today, I forced myself to go to the park next door and went brisk walking! Ye la kan, if I can develop the habit to go to uni everyday to do my work, sure exercise ni pon boleh kan? kan?

Memang betullah. Once you have put on your gear, there is no turning back. Turun tangga, dan pergi terus, tanpa toleh-toleh belakang.Bila dah sampai park, whether you like it or not, kena berjalan jugak. Plus, rasa bersemangat to see others running. Tapi I tak lari, I only brisk walked. Although, I think I would like to start running again after delivery nanti.

Anyway, dengan ini, I must start sleeping early, I guess. Sebab, in order to go for my brisk walk, and to uni later kan, maka, kenalah bangun awal.

I hope this will work!

splurge

hrmm...semenjak pregnant ni, i find that i mentitikberatkan hal-hal kecantikan.

sometimes i feel guilty to be spending so much on this beauty products tapi i guess its reasonable la kot since i have never bought myself any facewash, toner, cleanser whatsoever since muda remaja. I only started using olay total effects when i was here and tu pon sebab muka kering giller. tapi haritu, my olay habis, and when i went to the shop to get a new bottle, terkejut tengok harga yang about 4 kali ganda lagi mahal dari harga that i could get in KL masa time offer. Maka, dengan itu, terus bertukar brand. Dan dengan tak semena-mena terbeli brand yg agak pricey. tapi tak pe. dapat feeling-feeling mengekalkan kejelitaan wajah. wakakakak. tapi if that cream habis, i want to try a new one pulak...yg mmg spesifik untuk anti ageing or something to that effect.

lepastu, i semakin sedar dengan keadaan perut yg semakin membulat. maka dengan itu, telah membeli some cream specifically to combat cellulite. that cream tu, i beli pon sebab baca si daphneiking guna. hehe. gullible kan? baru-baru ni, cream tu habis, so i bought another brand, atas saranan sales assistant. hmm..pada pendapat i, cream baru tu, mcm best sebab sampai malam pon wangi je perut i!

then, lotion. i memang guna lotion, tapi dulu2 beli whatever was on sale. however, masalah kulit kering tak pernah selesai, malah gatal2 adala. so, masa masuk spital dulu, tgk rumet pakai lotion biotherm, terus pasang cite-cita nak beli. i have been using it, and so far so good. cuma la ni dah habis, so nak kena beli lagi. tahan lama tau satu botol tu, a few months juga. so i rasa pembelian ini amat justified.

then, untuk penjagaan tumit dan tapak kaki. its always kering pastu ala-ala crack plaks. beli cream scholl tu, mcm tak jalan je. so, satu hari tu, pi muller and beli vaseline petroleum jelly. every night akan pakai sebelum tidur, pastu pakai socks. Alhamdullillah, things have improved. and best of all, vaseline sangat murah!! less than 2euros!!! so, nak lumur banyak-banyak pon tak rasa sayang.

tu je la pon rutin kecantikan. i memang tak pakai make up. or cleanser or anything yg berkaitan. so, even having this routine (of putting creams on my face everyday lepas mandi and sebelum tidur) and lumur cream on my tummy and also tapak kaki is a significant step for me.

next step, mungkinkah make up? *gulp*

jadual saya

semenjak dua minggu lepas, i have been quite diligent in going to uni. the thing is, walaupun i ni student phd, my school does not provide a phd suite, office or even photocopy service whatsoever untuk student-student phdnya. Maka, we are free to do whatever we want, without feeling obliged to go check into the office once in a while or etc. Instead of finding it liberating, I find it not good for me, at all. Dengan sistem ini, I don't know any other PhD students who are in my field, and have no chance to interact with them. Walaupun I attend classes, I still tak jumpa-jumpa jugak orang yg boleh dibuat gang atau boleh dijadikan rakan untuk bersembang about phd work.

Anyway, that is not what I want to tell. I nak bagitahu yang sekarang, I have sort of established a routine. Although initially, I was so liat nak follow the routine, I am now quite used to it. What is my routine?

Everyday, I force myself to go to the computer lab (provided for all uni students) to do some work. Biarlah mcm tak de kerja, I akan cari kerja. Mula-mula, it started with my plan to finish up a paper which I have submitted today. Lepas tu, I still kept going, despite having finished that paper, to find some other thing to do. Like, work on another paper, cari journal articles and etc. I only spend about 3 to 4 hours at the computer lab.

However, I do have my cheat day. My cheat day will usually be pre-decided because before the day comes, I will make sure I have enough reading materials (journal articles, books, copies of my own paper to edit). What I normally would do is to go to my favourite stabux (in kartnerstrasse), and lepak sana, while reading my materials. I usually would spend a few hours doing that.

Now, when i get home, I dont touch my work anymore. My time at home is spend with skyp-ing, reading blogs and catching up with tv series. Nowadays, i like to browse through pregnancy related blogs and food blogs. hehe.

I really hope to be able to keep up with this routine. Risau juga because classes will commence next week, so I will be really busy (classes everyday except thursday!). I am planning to take 6 papers, but I am not sure if that is too ambitious for pregnant me. hehe. yela, my target is to finish my coursework by this sem, so i must do what i need to do, kan??

o well...let's hope semua berjaya.

misi hidup sehat

i have been trying to eat more healthily this whole week. Alhamdullillah, it is not as hard as I thought it would be. Kenapa tiba-tiba eat healthily kan? Because uols, my weight increased tremendously!!!! I got a shock when I weighed myself uols. I tell you, memang la tak boleh diet masa pregnant, so i resorted to eat healthily.

Now, I eat lots of vege, mostly salads. A typical meal I would have in a day would be:

breakfast: cereal or if i go out early, i would buy a spinat tasche (thats spinach and cheese pastry..i know i know, ada cheese but my reason is that i need the calcium, kan? hehe...matilaaa alasan)

lunch: vege sandwich (i use vollkorn bread, which is peppered with sunflower seeds) or if makan luar, i like seafood at nord.see.

dinner: salad and bread smothered with cheese spread. kadang-kadang, salad and hard boiled eggs.

sometimes, i have brunch....so thats two full meals je. tapi kdg2, dinner, selepas salad and bread, i drink milk and eat cereal as well. sometimes i treat myself to stabux's skinny chai tea latte and white choc raspberry cheesecake. sometimes i snack on fruits.

i really hope my weight will not increase that drastically......

i need to buy dates and kuaci or kacang to snack on. my friend said that i would be good for baby.

p/s: i odered mensa's fit for mind book online last night. cannot wait for it to arrive. call me silly, but i have always wanted a book like that ever since i was a kid...tapi tak pernah berani nak minta Daddy belikan. so, this time, i bought one for myself (tapi versi adult). apparently, working on puzzles is good for baby as well. :)

bila dah 2 orang anak

today, i got a very upsetting news from my sister regarding AD's habit which i really despise. The thing is, it was sort of 'encouraged' by my very own mother and what upsets me most is, she continues to encourage it depite knowing how much i dont like it. siap suruh my sister hush hush lagi. haih.

so, today, i finally had it. i text-ed my mom to stop doing whatever she is doing and called Dr Sunshine to tell him about this matter. So, masa online tadi, Dr Sunshine and I reprimanded AD for his behaviour. Actually, I just told him to be a good boy, and kalau nak jadi good boy kena behave. kalau behave to, maknanya cannot do some things. pastu, Dr Sunshine talked to him in a garang tone. and next thing u know, AD menangis. tapi tak de la menangis meraung tu..jenis. menangis senyap2 sebab sedih. i felt a bit guilty, but what to do.

lepastu, Dr Sunshine cakap, maybe AD upset sbb dia sorang je kena tegur, so we had to tegur AA as well. I tell you, AA's face was so funny. the papa had to held him up near the camera, and then i just told him to behave (pastu papa dia tambah kat belakang: jangan raba perut...tu kan habit dia..wkakakaka...tak salah pon raba pusat sendiri). pastu, si AA juga jadi upset. wakakakak...

so, Dr Sunshine's solution was, bagi susu and ask them to sleep. So, he made a bug fuss about nak buat susu, only to realize, masa dia masak air, dia lupa nak switch on the plug. wakakakaka....Akibatnya, AA menangis kesedihan sebab nak susu sangat sangat. i think he was sleepy. he cried the whole time sementara tunggu air masak. kesian anak mama. hehehe...

- nak dijadikan cerita, i was pickpocket-ed for the second time. not my rezeki, i guess. i lost my atm card and 100euros. dah bukan rezeki ai kot. *sedih*

- had some makan2 in my flat today. i made kuah kacang!!!! sedap pulak tu. hih hih. i also made raspberry jelly and murtabak maggi. there was laksa, nasi impit, lemang and serunding as well. okla kan for sambutan bujangs kat sini.

- i bought a tefal wok and also the pan to buat crepes cos it was on sale. tak sabar nak tunggu wok with cover to be on sale plaks.

- i still have to prepare for my presentation (this thursday), summary (due on tuesday) and documents for my residence permit.

- kena collect some documents from the post office.

- nak kena apply for residence permit. haih...sangatla malas tapi ini perkara yang langsung tidak boleh dielakkan. would do it on tuesday, the day my permit expires.

- esok nak apply for another debit card so that i can beli tiket balik kl. yer, saya ingat nak mensurprisekan husband saya untuk our 5th wedding anny. sweet tak? *matila angkat bakul sendiri

- i feel overwhelmed with my workload. tapi i can do it, kan?? tapi harini no mood. how? should i watch something on the net instead??? i mean i sort of have an idea of what i want to present on thursday, cuma nak kena prepare powerpoint la.

- oh...sifat malas, sila nyah dari sini. i want to feel energetic.

- going to salzburg this december. woot woot!

- i might have some thing to reveal soon. tapi kena tungguuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu

have you ever?

have you ever felt that your brains are sooooooooooooooooo super tired that all you want to do is golek-golek atas katil sambil tengok mindless tv shows?

have you ever felt like you have worked so hard for something, and deserve a good break but you cannot because you have a lot of other things waiting for you?

i tell you, November is not a good month for me. Its one deadline after another and I am suffocating. I am so tired of looking up for journal articles on the internet, cari buku kat library, do a whole lot of reading and then tulis. haih.

lepastu, i actually really want to continue writing my thesis, but tak sempat-sempat lagi because of all this other work. i really cannot wait for November to be over!!!!

ok,now back to Victor Turner's article.

yakin boleh

masa-masa gentar mengejar deadline (yes..its tarikh ajal, hence the word deadline...dateline refers to the date kat papers tuh), teringat plak masa keje kat soratkhabar.

you know, i sometime have to churn as much as 15 (sometimes more) stories per week and our deadline was ussually on wednesday/thursday. Selagi belom saat-saat akhir, selagi tu laaa sempat nak pergi long lunches, manicure, basuh rambut, shopping dan buat perkara-perkara yang tiada langsung kaitan dgn sotry tu. and then, hari rabu tu, tiba2 idea dtg mencurah-curah gittew!!!

i tell you, procastinating is EVIL. tapi i keep on doing that. for instance, i just printed out some articles that i must read in order to prepare for my presentation, tapi, lepas dah print tu, surf internet la, apa la.. haih.

but maybe, just maybe, i work better under pressure?? *matila nak justify*

a new beginning

and so, my new life begins. and boy, its REALLY lonely uols!

i think i would have to develop a new routine. usually, mornings here would be spend with Andi, mandikan, masak, bg makan, main, prepare for nursery. but now, things are different.

anyway, i think i want to move out of this place. its too big for me. and not to mention expensive! a smaller place perhaps is a good answer. lagipon, the lift is not working! pengsan ok mak naik tangga bawak beg 30kg. mujur ada sorang jejaka tolong bawak naik dari 1st floor onwards.

came back to a sweet surprise. got a card from andi's daycare centre with andis picture on it. they also printed 2 more pictures of him at the daycare! best sangat. :)

other than that, i have started reading sikit. must finish my methods chapter by this week. next week nak start on my malay identity chapter.

ada orang ajak pergi salzburg. should i?

hmm...must get ready to go out. problem is, its too cold outside!!tula akibatnya bila balik. kena readjust all over again.

i miss my boys dreadfully.

:(

lagi 2 minggu

i will be in Wien in two weeks. how time flies. i dread the goodbyes. but ironically, i sort of miss my life in vienna.

hari ni, drama air mata dah bermula. its always like that. i always manage to shed tears when i think about leaving my boys.

on the homefront, things are getting a lot better, i guess. you see, i have a weakness. my weakness is that when i love someone, i give my heart and soul. even when i say i would not forgive, my love for him somehow made me accept what had happened. i try to forget, honest to god, i do. but i just can't. you see, when you are in this situation, you will ALWAYS doubt. tapi, i have decided that i would just close one eye, and work my butt off to get what i want, my PhD. lepas tu, i will decide on what is best.

dani....dani is one big boy. great abe (yes..andi panggil dani Abe ok....darah kelate u ols!). i love it when he says : "haha..tataiyo...andi (insert what Andi has done here). He talks a lot. Can read. I am going to miss him and our kissing machine games.

andi, my dear Andi. the one who can miracalously hold his own milk bottle when papa bagi. i don't know how i am going to leave him. he has been my constant companion, dari dalam perut lagi. he has always been with me in Wien. *sob sob*.

neway, doakan semuanya akan berakhir dengan baik.

p/s: am freaking out cos tak kumpul2 lagi responden for FGD (tapi tetap tak buat apa-apa pon!) *matilaaa mak!!!