kosong

hmm..my first night without you babe.

kinda tough to handle two kids on my own. i know mak is around but i try not to burden her and cuba buat all i can.

i bagi dani susu ounce tonight, after giving andi his milk.

andi tak tidor lagi but i minta tolong mak pegang andi and i went to buat susu for dani plak. mak wanted to bagi susu to dani but i insisted to be the one to put him to sleep. just so that i can continue your nightly rituals with him. so that he won't forget.

sayang mama tak?
sayang papa tak?
sayang andi tak?
sayang banyak ke sikit?
Fatihah
al-Ikhlas
bismillah
suap susu.
Ayat Qursi

i wanted to read ayat Qursi before giving him milk tapi dani kata bagi susu dulu baru baca ayat Qursi. huhu. I guess I did not observe the ritual bebetul.

I will try my best to remember everything you pesan.

I will try my best to raise the boys properly with you away.

I rindu you sangat B. I keep on imagining that you are on one of your walks, or tgh baca buku anatomy tu outside.

i rasa pelik to be the last one to go to sleep tonight, to be the one to switch off the light and to basuh pinggan segala.

i rasa kosong.