bila dah tahu ajal hampir tiba

i was blog hopping (yes...i know, i should be reading..tapi...)and found this blog which i felt that i must share with all of you.

the blogger is a 19 year old who is fighting for his life. he was diagnosed with liver cancer and was told that he has only a few months to live as the cancer cells are viciously attacking his body.

he writes beautiful sajak. do read him at teratak husaini.

he currently has about 92 days left. :(

negaraku

i am currently reading Southeast Asian Identities: Culture and the Politics of Representation in Indonesia, Malaysia, Singapore and Thailand.

I am only in chapter two, in which the contributor discusses about Singapore. You know what? It made me realize that 1Mesia is sort of emulating S'pores current system, in which every race is treated as equal and the common values (like budi bahasa) dijadikan basis to promote cultural identity. The thing is, Spore, like Mesia is a multiracial country. Ada banyak kaum kan, so it is quite unfair to only champion one kaum. Masa negara tu baru saja keluar dari malaysia, it was searching for an identity. the majority of kaum yang duduk di spore are chinese. but, since spore is situated in the midst of mostly 'malay' based countries, it would deem impossible for these countries to accept a Chinese country. tapi..nak bagi kat Melayu pulak..melayu minoriti. india lagilah....bilangannya lagi sket. so, what they ols thought of was, capitalism was the way to go! economy was seen as a way to pull people together.

And, i only realised how the s'pore government banked in on capitalism to get its rakyat to bersatupadu. that was how it could quickly become one of the fastest growing nation (bawah japan). it places importance on kiasu-ness competitiveness, mutual trust and co-operation, and meritocracy.

so now u ols tahu la kan why org cakap sporeans adalah kiasu (no offense to sporeans...this is based on the book). because that sifat has been instilled in them. that is their national identity. to always be first, to be able to earn to buy a flat. gittew.

sangat menarik for me. sebab apa..now i see that 1 malaysia juga katanya tak nak assimilate cultures but nak celebrate the masyarakat berbilang kaum by practicing some common values (which was what spore did lah kan.)adakah ini salah satu usaha untuk mem-flourishkan economy? I just hope it won't supress ethnic identities in our country.

ok..enough rambling. now to chapter 3.

jadi mak mertua

AD: mama, dani ada girlfriend.

me:siapa girlfriend dani?

AD:nama dia Putri Alia Shira

me:Mana Dani kenal?

AD:dia sekolah dengan Dani. satu kelas dengan Dani.

me:cantik tak? (aiyoo...lepas dah tanya soalan ini, ai rasa mcm nak ketuk diri sendiri...adaka tanya cantik ke tak? patut tanya la baik ke tak kan? tsk.)

AD:cantik. dani suka ikut dia pegi mana-mana.

with my mother, he said, "dani sayaaannngggg putri"

erkk....

tapi kan, bila the papa buat-buat tanya, AD buat-buat macam tak de apa. maybe its natural for kids to feel scared nak bgtau the father stuff. haha. whatever it is, I am glad he told me. :)

p/s: teringat zaman ada crush kat Faiz masa tadika dulu. huhuhu..

p.p/s: dani bff dgn his van driver. he gets to choose if he wants to be sent home first OR last (sebab nak round-round naik van). plus, the van driver buys him milo and stuff. note to self: bagi biskut raya kat van driver sebab pandai layan si AD.

cara-cara menjana wang

suami saya ada seorang kawan. kawan suami saya ni, ada bisnes jual tudung and brooch. kedai dia ni agak ternama gaklah (kot) kat A.S nun.

anyway, baru-baru ni, theyols telah memulakan satu cabang baru bagi bisnes dorang. honestly, i think its just a way for them to get money which they can capitalise on untuk roll(rolling money ke orang panggil ek?).

anyway, cara dorang buat is ala-ala MLM, but not quite. first, you invest 220rm (in which u'll get a tudung and brooch which is said to be worth 180rm). katakan u are A. A pulak, ada 2 ppl under him/her (which dia or upline dia akan tolong carikan) which we will call B & C. pastu B pon will have 2 ppl under him (D & E) and C pon sama (F&G). for each level of downline, A akan dapat 20rm (ke 30rm?).

anyway, Dr Sunshinelah yg bertanggungjawab meregister me, and both my sons (and also paid for us...heh heh) dan juga mencari people to be under us. best kan suami saya?

so now, i get and extra 20rm a month. if Dr Sunshine rajin lagi cari orang (if dapat cari one pair, he gets 60rm), bertambah lah lagi duit ku. dani pon dah dapat 20rm. hih hih. pastu, DrSunshine kata, i can withdraw my money anytime but shall have to give them 3 days to bg duit tu kat kita (which was why i said theyols use the money as modal for business..but ni speculation mak sajer jek u ols!)

doakan semoga berjaya.

p/s: perluke laki mak tanya, " kenapa perut you tu?" semasa skype dgn mak smalam? mak tahu la mak punye perut ni ala-ala flabby. *nanges* yela...mengandung 3 kali okei uols! cemana ek nak flatkan perut ni? tummy tuck is out of the question. lani mak rajin balik pakai girdle and sapu minyak menara all over sebab kengkonon terasa minyak panas can burn fat. hhuhuhu.....

i don't miss you at all!

setelah hampir satu tahun 2 bulan, dia datang muncul kembali. sigh...i don't miss you at all! kenapa perlu datang? haih...memangla perlu, kalu tak datang nanti, maknanya saya tak berovulasi lah kan??

yes...i finally got my period. tapi, it came with a vengeance. pad overnight wings yang diimport dari Malaysia tidak mampu menahan keover-flow-an-nya, walaupun baru digunakan untuk 3 jam. (maaf agak deskriptif).

anyhoo, its really heavy. and i totally forgot how messy it can be. takpe, demi kesuburan, saya akan bersabar.

meanwhile, Dr Sunshine agak sexcited. yelah....honestly, i dreamt that i was preggers about 3 times okeh. and NOT having my period was worrying lah jugak kan. so, bak kata Dr Sunshine, lepas ni, senang lah nak plan. to which i reply (dalam hati), nak plan kebendenya...its not like we live with each other. *nanges*

ok...back to my coding shitsheet.

my AA

Last week, i baru nak terasa bangga dengan anak i. you see, i have been flashing to him (haipp...bukan flash bukak baju okei!... i flash, flash cards) a few cards but have been stressing on a few cards in particular (sebab card lain ntah mana hilang selepas Encik Ahmad Andi gigit/main/sorok).

so, one day, he picked up the card and started to shake his body. the card was SHAKE. oh...masa tu, kembang kuncup rasanya tengok anakanda macam ala-ala faham apa yang tertera di card tersebut.

but...my excitement was shortlived. the next day, he picked up a card, and started to shake. card tu tulis apa tau?

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

ZEBRA

*nangis*

*********************************

I have also been reading to AA almost every day. Ala...sebenarnye bukan mama dia yg rajin sangat nak bacakan..tapi AA will bring me his books and cakap "Nak, Nak" persistantly sampaiiilaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa kita bacakan for him.

My favourite book is titled Animals. Neway, nak gak cerita yang one day, i asked him to point to elephant, and he pointed to the correct animal. oh..dan juga zebra.

notakaki: baru sekali je buat, so it might just be a lucky coincidence that he pointed to the right animal. tapi sebagai seorang ibu, nak jugak rasa bangga lite lite.

*******************************

AA now loves to wear his kasut di sebelah kaki sahaja. sebelah lagi, no shoes or socks. pastu, dia akan guna kaki tu untuk pijak segala mak nenek toys dia. dan mungkin sebab dia budak lelaki (there i go..stereotyping boys), dia adalah agak lasak. i seriously cannot remember Dani being this 'gege' masa kecik dulu but i guess each anak is different.

And, when he hears the Skype ringing tone, he'll rush to my lappie sambil berkata 'Papa' or 'Bear'. And he now talks to them, albeit in his baby language. yg kitaorg faham is nak.

And when he wants something (like a toy, or biskut) and i buat-buat tak faham, he will use his hands to pusingkan my head to tgk what he is pointing at yang dia Nak sangat tu.

I tell you, his favourite word has got to be 'Nak'.

sigh...i am going to miss you Son.

mungkin nasib saya

I really really wanted to meet my SV today. i emailed his secretary, no reply. called, and only got her answering machine. so i decided to just go to his office.

so dalam sejuk-sejuk (sebab hujan), i went to my school, only to find him, NOT there.

balik2, got a reply from my SV saying he's in Istanbul and will only be able to see me 2nd week of May.

sigh..oleh itu, that leaves me to decide what to do. and i have decided that this week, i will try to operationalize national identity and cultural identity.

pastu, the week after, i want to fine tune the research method i plan to use.

so, by the time jumpa SV in 2nd week of May tu, hopefully i have something substantial to present to him.

doakan saya berjaya, sebab i'm driving with a blindfold here.i really have no direction, tapi i try.

anyhoo, semasa di skool, i came across an interesting notice. Summer School in Istanbul. :) its a 6 day program for postgrad students which focuses on intercultural communication. it will be in September. I plan to apply for a spot because my uni will sponsor about 450euro and i have to fork out about 200 euro to cover the expenses. I really hope it wont be held early Sept tapi dalam hati mak, rasa mcm tak jer sebab its turkey kan..tak kan nak buat masa bulan posa kot? i will only send in my application once they have decided on the date. other than that, i'm thinking of doing an attachment di university yg rank-nyer #3o dalam THES. tapi tu, mak tak sure lagie.

ok..ittew saje laporan.

p/s: sekarang, mak tgh menuntut ilmu memasak from my mother. also, i have to cook rice everyday sebab AA dah takmo makan bubur n etc. yes...dia fenfeeling mcm grown up.