it only takes one stupid bitch to ruin a beautiful relationship.

i can forgive.

but, i never forget.

diskriminasi di ikea smaland

today, dr Sunshine took my boys to ikea. He wanted to pergi survey barang-barang. Sesambil tu, boleh bagi the boys run around and play in the Smaland kan.

Neways, few weeks back, Andi was not allowed to play inside because katanya tak cukup tinggi.

This time around, Dr Sunshine tried his luck, again.

Kali ni, there was this mom of three girls yang q depan dr Sunshine. The girls tu, sorang, bigger than Andi. lagi dua were obviously smaller in size and were not even potty trained!! (ada rules yang kalau nak letak anak kat situ, dah kena potty trained). So, the orang jaga entrance smaland to obviously kenal the mom and three kids from the way she greeted them by name and chit chat lama like oohh...dah lama tak nampak! how are you girls and etc. Needless to say, they got in easily.

Pastu, tiba giliran andi and dani. Dia tanya Dr SUnshine, dah ukur ke height Andi kat the chart to see if he is allowed in. Dr Sunshine kali ni jawab: Well, he is certainly taller than your Fatima and Zahra (Dr Sunshine heard the names..hehe). Pastu, the girl tersenyap. And pandang belakang kat the girls and looked at andi, obviously to compare their height. Finally, dia bg la si andi masuk.

Nasib baik.

apa pon, mmg byk songeh ok! kalau dapat tukang jaga yang mengada,kesian andi.

nak nanges

rasa nak nanges je tadi masa beratur beli toasted mozarella sandwich kat my favourite sandwich stand.

Sebab apa tau? Sebab I rasa amat penat kehulu kehilir dari pagi tadi. Pagi tadi, I went to my insurance kundenzentrum (customer service centre) untuk bertanyakan pasal kenaikkan harga insurance tu, and sama ada i kena pi bank increase the amount to be paid (because I auto debit je tetiap bulan) OR ia akan secara automatik auto debit the new amount(like my electricity bill). Tapi, boleh pulak minah tu cakap tak tahu, and ai kena pergi main office to tanya. Argghhhh *tarik rambut*

So, I thought, maybe I should just call the main office. I dialed the number, tapi manjang je machine angkat and lama tunggu pon, tak dapat gak cakap dengan anyone. *geram*. Then, I decided, email ajela. So now, tengah tunggu dorang reply. If non ado reply, looks like I would have to make my way to the ´main office on Thursday.

Next, kan ke I buat projek chai tea latte? Well, entah kenapa, semalam I thought that my project does not sound 'intelligent enough'. Maka, I pon gigihla cari buku pasal history of food and etc and find the books I needed at the history library. So, I pi library tu tapi buku2 tu hanya boleh dipinjam during weekends. So, i thought, I would just photocopy the chapters that is relevant la kan. Tapi kan, yang buat I geram, the copy machine sana tak accept my fakultas copy card. Dia kena beli kad lain plak dah (best copy card) which is 10euro. Masalah problemnya, I only had 5 euros with me, so, dengan perasaan hampa, I put the books back and headed out of the library. Looks like I would have to photocopy the chapters esok la pulak in between classes. :(

Hari ni, asalnya, ai plan nak buat assignment. Tapi I am so freaking tired of all the walking I did. Jadi mood nak buat pon dah pudar uols!!! hmph. Mungkin malam ni la kot.

Next thing yg I amat risau adalah, i still haven't bought anything for my MIL and FIL. You tahu, i tak risau langsung pasal my mom cos she's cool about it. Tapi, for MIL, by hook or by crook, I kena gak get something. haih. Bila nak beli ni?? Mungkin lepas check up on Thursday.

Oh. Please give me strength to go through this.

Dahla tak buat apa lagi untuk my theoretical framework. *ketuk kepala*

Nasib some of the handouts for my presentation tu dah almost settled. I just need to write a good paper. Ya Rabbi. letihnyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa....

I hope I would be able to get my work done bila dah balik nanti! Ai feel so kalut because I want to get most of the things on my to do list settled.

Heeeellpppppppppppppppp!!!!!!!!!

geram

saya rasa geram dengan diri sendiri kerana dengan 'bijaknya' telah tertinggal notes penting di rumah. Maka, walaupun semangat untuk menulis paper adalah membuak-buak, tak dapat nak buat apa-apa. haih.

So, let's go shopping instead. And buat kerja esok, kan?

mimpi ngeri

i had a nightmare last night! I tell you, when I am pregnant, startlah datang mimpi pelik2 ni tau! Benci betul.

I dreamt that Dr Sunshine pergi conference sesambil holiday dengan seorang betina gatal. Apakah? Bangun-bangun je, terus ai tak de mood. Dan juga telah meng-text Dr Sunshine pasal mimpi ngeri ittew. Dia pon kata: "the only betina that will be in there is the orangutan."

Fuh. lega ai!

Speaking of which, dah 26 minggu dah ai pregnant. Dan ini juga bermakna, dah 6 bulanlah ai tak jumpa my boys. :(

I have 9 more weeks to go. Haih...tahu tak apa maknanya? Maknanya, if I jumpa depa in 9 more weeks, I haven't met them for about 8 months!!! 8 months. Who would have thought! This has been the longest time I have ever had to be away. :(

I miss my boys.

Pengajaran

I learnt my lesson the hard way today.

1. Sila buat backup banyak-banyak. You see, I always email myself whatever I have written dengan harapan it will always be in my emails la kan. And that I can access it anywhere yg ada internet and also avoid me from using my USB sebab takut nanti kena virus plak lappie kat rumah. Rupanya, taktik yg I amalkan tak jadi uols!!!!!!! I lost 2 chapters I have written and I feel like crying!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! tsk tsk tsk tsk tsk tsk tsk. How dare you gmail! I hate you for simply deleting my saved emails!! I just hope I have a printed copy of the chapter stashed somewhere at home. Keyword: HOPE. I searched my thumbdrive but there seem to be no trace of the chapter in it. Balik nanti nak kena search lappie and also external drive. Kalau tak, terpaksalaaaaaaaaa menulis lagi sekali. *nanges*

2. Bila menulis, sila catatkan references yang digunakan. Nasib baik la at the age of technology ni, senang sikit nak cari info that I needed through the internet. Kalau tak de? Mahu laaa I nangis lagi sekali dek nak kena cari the books and articles manually. Jadi, kena ambik iktibar untuk chapter-chapter seterusnya.

Nasib baiklaaaaaa I memang plan pon nak revamp chapter 1. Tapi nak revamp pon, tetapla i need to see what I wrote before kan? kan? betul tak?

I nak kena berdoa banyak-banyak ni supaya my email would secara miracle akan appear balik (read about it happening to some people) and that I can find the printed copy, at least. Also, nak kena doa supaya inspirasi dan idea untuk menulis datang mencurah-curah.

Oh. Sedih!

tak de mood

Pernah tak uols rasa geram, sampai tak de mood nak buat keje and rasa nak mengunyah ajer? Mujur la ai posa, kalau tak, entah apa dah ai makan nieh!

Geramnya Ya Rabbi dengan obgyn I. The thing is, she didn't advice me to register at the hospital i plan to give birth at during the earlier part of my pregnancy. Masa dah 21 weeks baru dia nak bagitahu ai. I thought it wouldnt be much of a problem because when I was pregnant with Andi, I registered at 20++ weeks as well and senang je nak dapat appointment and slot.

Rupanya, ramai pulak laaaa yang nak beranak time-time summer ni kan. *tensi*

The hospy of my first choice only had a free slot in May, 4 weeks before my due date! Mana sempat uols. I nak kena buat organ screening bagai and etc kan. By 35 weeks of gestation, mana laaa nak boleh ukur baby bagai sebab baby dah besaq.

So, I called another hospital, and the other hospital said that its already full and i was too late katanya dalam membuat appointment.

So, sekarang cemana?

Lagi satu, i takut kena marah sebab tak buat organ screening tu uols! tapi its not my fault is it? i cannot get a bloody appointment. Ni yang buat my blood go upstairs ni.

Apa pon, to be safe, I still made the appointment with hospy #1, walaupun dah lambat gila. yela...at least adalah i tempat nak beranak kan? kalu tak?? cuma, tak boleh nak buat organ screening je. tu, dia kata, kena laa keluarkan duit sendiri untuk membuatnya. uols yg duduk kat mesia tu, silalah bersyukur sebab kos ultrasound and organ screening bagai murs murs je. Kat sini, sekali ultrasound, €50 (tupon, nasib baik dapat buat free 3 kali insurans tanggung). and, the organscreening, nak tahu tak berapa kosnya? €195. Tu yang i sibuk nak try juga dapat appointment kat spital.

Haih....bila time-time camni, rasa nak balik Malaysia aja!! uwaaaaaaaaaaaaa.....

common courtesy

you tahu, i rasa the bestest travelling partner i ever had is obviously my Dr Sunshine and my gang projek. With them, everything is super fun, tak de stress, relaxed, carefree, fun and did i mention fun??

haih, apalah nasib ai kali ni, i went with a person wh0m i think, kalu nak travel togede-gede, ai akan pikir doplohpat kali.

i think, bila kita travel sama-sama, kita kenalah sama-sama tengok map, cari jalan untuk ke destinasi. jangan harapkan travel partner sahaja dan jalan menonong.

pastu, bila ada orang cakap dia penat berjalan jauh, tak perlulah question "kenapa penat sgt hari ni padahal semalam jalan lagi teruk". errr....dah badan saya penat nak buat cemana?? then u ols pergila cari jalan tu sorang2. tsk.

ermm..pastu, i think, bila dah share bilik, kena pastikan keselesaan rumet kita ittew, no?

and i think everyone should chew with their mouth closed.

ok..will be back with pictures nanti.

seteress

saya stress. tapi entahlah. hari ni dapat emel cinta dari SV yang mengatakan dia secara surprisenya terpaksa pergi salzburg. hmph. i guess what he meant was he had an emergency. well..there goes my hope of discussing anything with him!

he postponed it to next week. i hope by then he would have read whatever i gave him! i was already thinking of going back. tapi nampaknya terpaksa put on hold dulu my thoughts. haih.

in another note, i managed to finish reading a few books, despite of having to jaga AA alone. I think its all about time management. I read when AA is asleep. If he's awake, I can do my house chores or main dgn dia. :)

maybe, sementara tunggu nak jumpa SV ni,boleh lagi baca buku lain. i've got 2 more books yet to be read. and then, i shall look for more books or article.

and, since tak leh balik, boleh la pi shopping kat pandorf weekend nie..huhu. :)

tak tahu nak cakap apa

i met my sv today. but.....he has yet to read the stuff i gave him 3 weeks ago. masa masuk bilik dia, i can clearly see the folder i gave him, terletak kat tempat he put it when i met him 3 weeks ago. *stress*

so, the only thing he could do was to sign a bunch of forms i gave him. but, he has yet to fill in my progress report. and since it was said to be confidential, dia kata dia akan post sendiri. haih...i hope he would remember to fill it up and postit.

you see, i never knew he was so busy. too busy kot. the thing is, i emailed him on friday to gently remind him of our meeting and that i would like to discuss the methods i proposed. i didnt get a reply. tapi, i pasrah je and pegi gak to the Sprachstunde. Waited patiently for my turn. and when my turn came, i was soooooooooooooooooooo dissapointed that i couldnt discuss anything with him. haih. i was hoping we could discuss my methodology so that i could go back with mak. but he said to meet him at the end of june, so there goes my plan.

harap2 when i meet him at the end of june, he has read the stuff i gave him. pastu, i tanye la dia, what would you advise me to do while i wait for you to read all the things i gave you. he said, i cannot advise you. right now, i am too busy. my head is not here, i cannot really think about this. terus mak FRUST! harap2 end of june his head is clearer lah kan.

and so, i am left with NO arah tuju what-so-ever. i am just going to continue with my self given assignments. this weeks assignment is a continuation of last weeks, the malay identity.

i am thinking of asking for a co-sv. tapi ada friends cakap it may not be a wise decision as takut ada conflict between the two. haih...cemana ni labu?

and so, because i was stress, i had some retail therapy. well, not my fault really cos the shorts i have aimed to get for my boys were half off, so harus beli.

dan, telah menggemukan diri dengan membeli caramel hot choc. i tell you, memang gemuk. *risau*

so, what should i do now? yg pasti, esok nak bawak mak pi tgk garden.

pastu, there might be a trip to dublin somewhere in between. :)

geram

update: KURANG HAJAR BETUL KO LEMBU! KENCING DALAM BATH TUB AKU. TAHU TAK BATH TUB TU TEMPAT ANAK AKU MANDI? TEMPAT AKU AMBIK AIR SEMAYANG?CILAKA BETUL.YOU ARE NOT WELCOMED IN MY HOUSE ANYMORE!DAHLA KEDEKUT.SIYAL JE.

ishh...saya geram bagi pihak mereka-mereka yang selalu dibuli!

i tell you, ada seorang minah ni, yg dah berumur 33 tahun. nampak jer macam baik, tapi pada hakikatnya, kaki buli!

cerita dia macam ni.dia datang untuk buat post-doc di buda.pest.tetapi, di budpst tu, dia non-ado kawan (i so know why la kan dengan perangai busuk macam tu!), jadi hampir setiap minggu dia akan menjejakkan kaki ke wien.

okla...fine you are lonely and nak ada kawan, so datang sini, kan? tapi, dia ni, seorang yg mempunyai strategi yg baik. sebelum dia ke budpst, maknanya semasa dia masih di malaysia, dia telah meng-addkan,Vee on fb, who is my friend, who is doing her PhD kat sini. neway, Vee and this person which we shall call Busook (bukan nama sebenar), has known each other for quite a while. masa Vee buat undergrad, Busook tengah buat PhD. tapi si Vee ni is a brilliant lady. so much so, altho she was merely doing her undergrad, she was always talked about by her professors. so, Busook yg busuk hati ni, terus ala-ala jeles dgn si Vee ni.

So, nak dijadikan cerita, dari tahun lepas, Vee ada request nak add si Busook as a friend kat fb. tapi request ittew TIDAK dilayan. tiba2, pada penghujung bulan Mac, si Busook out of nowhere add si Vee nieh. dan berkawanlah mereka di fb.

rupa-rupanya, si Busook ada niat tersembunyi. sebabnye, motiff dia add adalah sebab nak slalu tumpang tido kat rumah Vee masa dia datang ke Wien (which is almost every weekend). pastu, perangai dia ni, dia tak kan reply messages kita on fb/ym/im if dia tak de benda yang dimahukan dari kite. so, kita mesej la bertubi-tubi, jangan harap ada reply. tapi...haa...bila tiba dia nak mintak something dari kita, dengan lemah gemalai, lembut hati dan berbudi bahasa, reti plak nak bg mesej kat kita. hmphh...

pastu, kalu dah dtg almost every week tu, sure dah reti kan how to take public transport to rumah Vee. ni taaakk..nak gak berjemput bagai.Ingat ko tu ratu kah?

pastu, yg tak tahan...nak datang, boleh demand..."I datang ni, you masak ayam goreng ye, cos i nak makan". boleh?pleasela..its not like ko tu besfren vee nak demand2 makan benda ni benda tu. dahla tu, tido rumah orang, buat perangai macam dia tu mem besar!

pastu, dah tido rumah orang, bila nk balik rumah sendiri, boleh mintak kentang, nak bawak balik! come on laa..potatoes are freaking cheap ok at this side of the world.hishhh!!!

tau tak kenapa geram? because, this person gets a monthly allowance of about 2k++euros. and..to think that dia mintak makanan dari budak yg dapat 1Keuro sahaja sebulan!!!!! sebab apa tau? sebab nak jimat duit nak beli rumah, u ols!!!

harta tu, kalau dah mati, bukan bleh bawak masuk kubur pown!!!! geram ok. ada lagi benda yg si Busook ni buat, tapi mak tak bleh nak cerita kat sini.

yg penting u ols, dont be AFRAID to stand up for yourself. don't be bullied by orang-orang tak guna macam ni! berbuih mulut mak nasihatkan Vee suh stand up for her rights and today u ols...she is going to do it. I hope she will be OK.

bila orang tak reti buat kerja

have i ever told you that prior to me going for cuti belajar, my borang permohonan citu belajar yg tebal giller itu hilang? yess..the unlatihan telah menerima tht form from kedekanan (ada bukti cos they had to sign when they recieved the form) but tah macam mana boleh hilang dlm simpanan.

and now...dorang hilangkan pulak my borang laporan kemajuan pelajar!!! i am very confident that they recieved it because i posted it together with my claims, in the SAME envelope, which they recieved. borang tu plak takde...how can?

n...becos of that, i got my first surat peringatan from my pengerusi pusat about this matter!! isshh...geram x yah ceritala cos org lain x buat keje bebetul, kita plak yg kena. apakah?

now, i shall isi borang tu again. sv is in BKK so i think i shall just post proof tht i did n passed my german course and post tht first. later2 baru antar with sv punye. kata nak asap kan? plus, its so not my fault. tu yg geram sangaaattttttttttttttttttttttttttttt tu.

lets just pray they wont stop my allowance.

belajar dari kesilapan

dah tiga kali i started to write something and all three times, my lappie decided to shut down dengansendirinya. *tensi*

neway, untuk memendekkan cerita

- berjaya ke ikea dengan menaiki tram n then a bus and menghangkut pulang baby chair, kotak plastik and that gantung jaring thingy, along with a stroller dgn budak kecik sorang, naik bas dan kemudian tram untuk pulang ke rumah. letih...memang mencabar terutama bila ada budak kecik tu decided that he had enough of sitting in the stroller and wanted to be carried. tapi, happy to note that i managed. i know for sure if i was in KL, i would be too lembik to do all this. i guess when i have dr sunshine around, i am so dependent on him. hihi.

- nak cerita pasal politikus kat tempat tinggal saya sekarang ni. suffice to say, if you are not close to the right people, you will not be invited to open houses. *sedih*. but, i have made a strategy..ahhahaha....there's this new lady in town and i met her once before. the thing is, unlike the other ladies yg tak bekerja dan ikut suami dtg ke sini (no offense tu kengkawan saya yg mengikut suami merantau) this lady is intellectual. she was a lecturer and while her husband works, she contacted the unis and offered her expertise in doing research. jadi saya rasa dia adalah orang yg seswai untuk dibuat kawan, walaupun bidang expertise kami jauh panggang dari api gittew.

-saya ketagih bermain cafe world on fb. bad. i know. tsk. boleh tak sebab dah ter-masak roast beef (it took me two days to masak okei), memaksa diri balik rumah in time for it to be served. if not rugi okei stove mak 2 hari guna masak bendalah tu pastu alih-alih basi plak. sape nak jadi negihbour ai kat cafe world?? hihi. dan sebab nak kena continuously monitor cafe saya (yg saya namakan Mulut...mmg, if i have a cafe or restaurant..nak namakan mulut..cos kan slalu orang tanya...nak makan kat mana...kat mulut..ihihih..ok..i digress) saya bukak 2 window untuk fb dimana satunya KHAS untuk cafe saya sahaja. tsk. i'm officially a suchtiger (addict dalam bahaso German)

- i need a hobby! the reason i play cafe world is i have no LIFE!! thank god i send my child to the day care. over there, i get to talk to other adults in English...and they are mostly masters and phd students. it feels really good to be able to talk to someone else! anyhoo..once i'm home, i hv nothing to do except surf the net..so, i think i need a hobby. apa pendapat u ols? crossstitch atau knitting? saya verangan nak menulis about being a single parent aborad tapi kat mana tempat yg seswai utk saya contribute hoh?

-i've been munching like nobody's business tapi i thank god i balance it with a lot of walking. buuttt...i am telling myself that this is the LAST week for me to eat all those unhealthy junks. im going to be eating fruits beginning next week (wish me luck cos me and fruits...not a good relationship there).

-dani banyak bercakap and dah not so pelat. i am so excited that he's going to kindy next year, insyaAllah. saya teramat excited that almost every day, i'd google to find any feedbacks on the said kindy, Genius Aulad. eiihh...bestnyer...my son is growing up.

- Andi plak can already stand and inching his way sambil pegang bucu katil and whatever bucu he could grab on. he's also very chatty nowadays. tegur people on the bus, tram and all that. he's slowly getting used to the daycare. and hari2 benjy akan kiss andi goodbye. so cute ok. btw, benjy ni budak campur mat salleh and kulit hitam...so his skin is not that dark n rambut dia blonde. kiut ok. tapi yg lagi kiut (selain andi obviously..harusla mak dia bias kann) ialah seorang budak korean/japanese bernama Nomin. ya Rabbi...so geedebe dia nieh...and super comelz! shes almost 2 y.o.

-i paid my fees of almost 400euros and can only register this trhusday. pasal kelas, i'm still not sure. id have to go to my skool to find out what i should take. tapi rasenye ada independent study...hoyehhh...me likey independent study. at least adalah benda nak buat kaann..

-speaking of which, rasa nak menghakmilikkan satu pc kat eltern zimmer tu as mine. nak tiru taktik ayang yang menghakmilikkan pc kat postgrad suite as hers. shall hias2 that corner..huhu. speaking of which, since mak dah nak start phd classes dgn skool ni, mak dapat opis la kot ek> eiihh...sexcitednyer mak u ols!!

- oh...Dr Sunshine sitting for his exam on Nov 2nd. I really hope and doa that he passes. the thing is, the failure rate is 85%. cuba u ols imagine!! masa mock exam last week, less than 10 out of 120 ppl passed. how?? tapi insyaAllah ok kot. cos if he passes...

- we'll be going for a euro trip! that is so exciting. tapi if dia pass la. he plans to come over during summer and then we'll go jenjalan...bestnyerr...i still cant decide where to go first...istanbul? itali? switzerland? germany? paris masa bebudak dah besar sket baru nak pi.then baru dorang bleh enjoy disneyland!

- my sis gave birth via lscs a few days back to a baby gurl. and right now, she's tandem feeding! mak respect sama dia u ols!

- kunci rmh saye di bsp dah boley diambil! i m super excited tht my house dah siap. tp, risau gk cos dr sunshine sorg je yg nk cek defect semua...hmmm...tp, excited all the same!
oraity..ittew saje laporan saya hari ini. tu dia..punya panjang sebab nak lepas germa 3 kali tak leh nak blog.

roger.

saya geram

I just came back from class and i must admit, dalam kelas tadi, i was so geram that i have thought of how to write my entry today. tapi bila sampai sini, tak ingat plak. hihi.

tapi, tetap nak mention that i am quite geram with this girl who sits next to me in class. firstly, dia suka nak tiru jawapan mak ok. mak tensi sebab mak penat2 cari jawapan dalam kamus dan juga tengok my notes and all. tadi, der lehrer buat ala2 pop quiz (tapi ala2 open book la cos we could freely refer to our notes or open the dictionary).

if you know me well, i am quite a geek sbenarnye as in i want to do really well in exams walaupun markahnya tidak dikira ok. and, mak tak kisah tiru meniru IF it was my good fren ke tapi sebab this girl ni, she likes to act like she knows all the answers (tetapi padahal jawapan tu adalah jawapan mek ATAU jawapan yg memang dah ada in her workbook cos she bought a 2nd hand workbook in which some answers has already been scribbled).so, tadi, yang membuatkan saya geram adalah i was looking through the dictionary, trying to find the suitable articles for the nouns..and tetiba, dia telah mengambil kertas mek and suka suki tgk jawapn!!! OH!!! perluke macam tu? she didn't even ask ok. she just grabbed!!!

and, i was quite angry cos everything that was asked (fill in the blanks with suitable akkusativ, nomens, pronomens and etc) are all in the notes (that i of course copy when cikgu ngajar and in which she salin-ed also). oleh ittew..tak leh ke nak bukak nota awak ittew untuk carik jawapan?? ishh....geram betul tau! pastu, yg also buat saya geram adalah..i was trying very hard to do it myself and dia sibuk nak bagi jawapan with that tone yang macam..ala..tak kan jawapan tu pon tak tau. bukan saya mintak jawapan dari awak pon!! tsk.

tak bagus sbeanrnye nak geram ni, tapi i have been keeping this thing for far too long.

p/s: i miss my boys. pagi tadi, at about 2am AD called. and we could have a conversation. he told me that dia pergi semayang kat masjid, ada basikal baru and also pampers bocor sebab banyak kencing. sebab papa lupa tukar pampers. hihi.and, he asked me mama beli apa breakfast?i said roti. he said kat mana? rindunyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa