rindu

saya rindu sama budak yang gambarnya kat atas tu.

today is exactly two weeks that I am without him. This is my second time being seperated from him for a long duration of time,the first time was only for 12 days. I was sick and when i looked at old pictures of him when i was sick tu, i realised how thin he was. and itsuddenly dawned to me that was probably because i didnt give him enough to eat and susu. sedih pulak bila fikir. and guilty to boot.

this time around, i left him in good hands. he's now with Papa and AD (which he calls Ni or Abe) and my mom and along. so i know he is being taken care off really well. he's eating well (had 1/4 of his Papa's subway and also suka olive like the brother!!). so i should be happy.

tapi.

tapi today i broke down.

i broke down because i miss this little boy so much. he has been with me here since day 1. since he was in my tummy. he has always been with me. i cannot help but keep on looking at his toys. sniffing at the part of the bed he used to occupy and his bantal.i miss hearing him panggil mama, kacau i masak and even when i am taking my shower. i remember how our bedroom would be super messy with his toys. i miss having him snuggling with me malam-malam. i miss looking at him sepahkan almari. i miss berebut laptop dgn dia. i miss him so much.

its so lonely. tapi, at times like this, i would always remember an entry Suzy once wrote in her blog.

i can do this right?

i miss my boys.