Monday, October 25, 2010

bila nak mai?

mood untuk membuat kerja masih ala ala non existant walaupun deadline utk banyak benda semakin hampir. ish....i tell you, nak work on my take home exam tu pon, punyelah procastinate. in fact, sampai sekarang, jangankan satu soalan, introduction to jawapan pon NON ADO!! *matila!!*

anyway, i am here to write on my latest purchase which i think is a tad expensive (for me la becos i am very cheap like that). I have been wanting it since i was in the hospital sebab sedap gila bau bila rumet kat spital tu pakai. so sejak itu, asyik usha je kat kedai but was a bit put off sebab harganya. anyway, since my current one dah nak habis, ai decided that its about time i indulge myself and get something i really want! so, dengan tanpa rasa bersalah, i pon belilah lotion idaman kalbu, yang amat sedap baunya dan dikatakan sesuai untuk kulit yg amat kering.

selamat datang ke keluarga skincare chesabb, wahai biotherm baume corps oil therapy. i think my purchase berbaloi cos it should be able to last me for a few months. *matila nak jugak justify*

next, bila krim muka dah habis, ai berangan nak beli krim idaman kalbu jugak. sebab, i think, its about time i take good care of my face, no? usia pon bukan makin muda uols. jadi ai kena la berusaha menjaga kejelitaan, kan?

by the way, i found the best product for my dry feet! its an enriched butter thingy yg wangi giller and tak langsung bau like all those crack heel cream yg i penah try masa kay keyell. i LOVE it!!

ok, sekian.

Thursday, October 21, 2010

bergelumang

saya berlari mengejar deadline.

EVERY FREAKING tuesday: Summary of articles to be discussed the next day (which explains why i have been reading a lot of adorno. ai akan mengapplykan teknik ni masa i mengajar nanti. siap budak2 tak baca artikel dan tak buat summary. its part of the evaluation!)

Nov 2: presentation of dual systems theory (which i have no freaking idea sebab rasa mcm tak penah belajar je. or maybe i didnt concentrate in uni dolu2?)

October 23 - Nov 8: Take home test - culture and aesthetics. (whatdehell is take home test? kenapa lecturer ai tak pernah bagi dulu2? apa yang dia expect ni? *panik*)

Nov 10: Outline of experiment for Forschungspraktikum (have to look for war film clips...help!)

Nov 15: Deadline for abstract untuk paper Visual Culture

Nov 16: Presentation of initial ideas for Visual Culture punye paper

Nov 25: Presentation for Qualitative Kommunikationmethode

Jan 17: Deadline for paper on Visual Culture

Jan 20: 1/2 hour presentation for Visual Culture

Feb 1: Deadline for Forschungspraktikum paper

honestly, i feel so tired everytime i come back, and not, its not only because i have to climb 4 flights of stairs every time. minda macam penat *chewah*.

i feel that time is not enough!! I promised myself to finish chapter 1 of my thesis by the end of the month, and although its almost there, masih lagi tak complete kan!! lari deadline mak!! and kengkonon chapter two should be done in november, tapi tengok je la deadline2 yang ada bulan november ni uols!!!!!! *pengsan*

on top of that, i spend time looking for english translations of articles in my reading list. if tak jumpa, terpaksa guna google translate.

oklah. nak tidur. esok nak kena bangun pagi, baca article yg patut dibaca sebelom kelas, and hopefully finish my summary for this coming tuesday so that i can concentrate on my take home test.

aufwiedersehen.

Tuesday, October 19, 2010

LMAO

i think this is written very witty-ly. :)


i have always loved his writings and thoughts.

Monday, October 18, 2010

little things that makes me happy

dah book flight to Cardiff. Now nak book bus tiket to London tapi tak tahu nak pilih which stop. I plan to stay at MaraHouse. So, which stop should I stop at?? Westminster? Ke cemano?

Next, nak book accomodation pulak.

eiiiii....bestnya! I cannot wait. I think this break would be good after all my hard work. (err...hard work ke ek??heheheh). tapi harus ingat, i have a presentation due the week i come back. and my papers to be submitted. yikes!!!adakah ini bermakna ai kena bawak cik laptop pergi on vacation jugak. haih...looks like it la kan. i guess you've got to do what you've got to. Well, at least I would be with my 'family'. :)

yeay yeay.

ok.now back to Glee. and after that, Adorno's Zusammenfasend.

Sunday, October 17, 2010

rindu

saya rindu sama budak yang gambarnya kat atas tu.

today is exactly two weeks that I am without him. This is my second time being seperated from him for a long duration of time,the first time was only for 12 days. I was sick and when i looked at old pictures of him when i was sick tu, i realised how thin he was. and itsuddenly dawned to me that was probably because i didnt give him enough to eat and susu. sedih pulak bila fikir. and guilty to boot.

this time around, i left him in good hands. he's now with Papa and AD (which he calls Ni or Abe) and my mom and along. so i know he is being taken care off really well. he's eating well (had 1/4 of his Papa's subway and also suka olive like the brother!!). so i should be happy.

tapi.

tapi today i broke down.

i broke down because i miss this little boy so much. he has been with me here since day 1. since he was in my tummy. he has always been with me. i cannot help but keep on looking at his toys. sniffing at the part of the bed he used to occupy and his bantal.i miss hearing him panggil mama, kacau i masak and even when i am taking my shower. i remember how our bedroom would be super messy with his toys. i miss having him snuggling with me malam-malam. i miss looking at him sepahkan almari. i miss berebut laptop dgn dia. i miss him so much.

its so lonely. tapi, at times like this, i would always remember an entry Suzy once wrote in her blog.

i can do this right?



i miss my boys.

Friday, October 15, 2010

Malay, Malaysian, Muslim and proud of it.

Hari ni, saya sengaja bangun awal untuk ke institut kajian antropologi untuk suatu seminar. Kenapa ai interested sangat nak pergi? Sebab, presenter tu, iaitu seorang non-muslim yang claimed that she was from Malaysia tapi mengajar kat uni seberang Mesia, was going to talk about Islam and Malaysian politics.

Now, i felt that it would be interesting to listen on a non-muslim view about Islam in malaysia, plus, before going, i wasnt sure if she was indeed malaysia so i wanted to make sure she got her facts right. (gittew...macam la ai ni arif sangat tentang malaysian politics and etc...but i do read about it ok, from both leftist and right-ist point of view). anyhoo, i found her talk disturbing. I know, she has the right to her own views and etc. but when this view affects the image of my country and muslims in my nation, i felt perturbed. perlukah uols question the syariah court and malaysian jurisprudence. okla...i mean, from her talk and her pictures which i saw was sourced from malaysian insider, i knew which side of the fence she is standing in. the way she pronounces mahath.ir pon dah semacam ok!

anyway, she actually put pictures of malays stepping on the cows head, the church bombings, the rally outside high court when li.na.j.oy appealed for the religion status to be changed in her ic, pciture of that mount everest climber who died and was buried as Muslim against his wifes wishes. She was talking about how more liberal Malaysian Muslims were emmigrating. Err.....to be honest, i wasn't really confortable with what she showed. To me, she was painting a picture as if our county are bombarded with this aggresive muslims who would bomb places or hold rallys when they are not happy with something. and she said, the government backed up this people.

So, dengan muka panas and berdebar-debar, I voiced my opinion. I was the last person to ask her a question and I said: I am a Malaysian Malay Muslim and I am really disturbed with the way you portrayed Muslims in our country. I would like everybody to know that not all Muslims in Malaysia are like that. Then I asked, what do you mean by Liberal Muslim? There's Muslim or non Muslim. We abide by rules stated in the Quran. Those are rules which some may not follow. But still, those are RULES.

And then, I told her, as in LJ's case, in Malaysia, the constitution clearly states that a Malay is someone who is a Muslim. Beragama Islam. Dan, because of that fact, her religion cannot be changed in the IC. If tukar agama dalam IC, maknanya nanti kategori atau pengkelasan Melayu di dalam perlembagaan Malaysia akan secara otomatik tukar. So, macam mana kita nak pertahankan hak-hak melayu yang ada? Religion, is the only thing that is left to help define us as Malay. Kalau bercakap bahasa melayu, any tom, dick or harry can belajar the language, betul tak? So, what will differentiate Malays from the other races? By our religion. Dan dalam IC, hanya Melayu sahaja yang akan ada tulis Islam kat dalam IC dia.

Lepastu, she also said Malaysia banned Arqam because it had political intentions. Err...excuse me. So, to that, I said, One of the main reason Arqam was banned was because the way they practiced Islam, not because of political intentions. Dorang anggap their leader was so special kan? Macam mengaggungkan sangat leader dia because he was believed to be the decendent of Nabi Mohamad S.A.W. Tapi, kita, sebagai orang Islam should agungkan Allah. Bukan ke macam tu??

Then, she said, as she was replying to my comments, that the malays portrayed in her slides are just a minority (ha..masa mula-mula presentation tak de pulak nak buat disclaimer macam tu kan?). She said that Mesia is a peaceful country and bla bla bla...and she didnt mean to offend me or what so ever. tapi , tetap dia tak jawab soklan ai pasal liberal muslim.

pastu ,masa sesi minum2 kopi, she came to me and said..oh, i didnt mean theres liberal muslim. there wasnt much time so dia guna je term tu. oh. ok. but i still think that doesnt make it ok. because she did sort of implied that more muslims are migrating because of the laws imposed on them (tak leh minum alkohol...yg sebenarnye mmg diharamkan dalam Islam kan??) and that they were not free. Pastu she said, interfaith talks should be encouraged so that people would understand other faiths better and etc. hmm...i guess the idea of interfaith talks is kinda ok. tapi honestly, i am scared if being too open about discussing pasal religion and ethnicity would bring back memories about bloody culture clashes and etc.

hmm..what say you?

Tuesday, October 12, 2010

yakin boleh

and so, i have been to 2 classes. both were ok lah kot. i mean comm and aesthetics, i think i can understand but visual culture is still a BLUR. the lecturer asked us to look for something we would like to work on for our paper (due in January) and to present the abstract of whatever we wanted to do in november.

what is actually confusing was that, i was asked to look at things accroding to the anthropological perspective as opposed to cultural studies punye perspective. but i dont know about u, i think both perspectives mcm lebih kurang je. lecturer kata, kalau antrhopology, they will question what ppl think of a phenomena and how ppl intepret it...err..ok.

so, i have decided to actually work on my findings in focus group discussion yg telah dibuat untuk projek visual culture. but i am going to twist it around to, how these young ppl see themselves being represented on tv. something to that effect lah..will think about it more esok.

other than that, my culture and easthetics kelas katanya ada take home test. matila mak!! tak penah hokei mengalami take home test ini. i mean what is expected of you?? i know i must write at least 2500 words per question but how many references should i have??? anyone can give me an idea??it starts end of next week. *yikes* sementara itu, my kiasu mode is sky high sebab telah men-reserve buku2 yang lecturer mention di dalam lecture. hih hih. yela...dengan harapan akan berguna dalam take home test nanti. hiks.

hmm..esok kelas petang...so pagi i plan to go to the library.

p/: is fissler a good brand for periuks???