long distance kembali

Dr Sunshine is now a qualified orthopedic surgeon and will now be known as Mr Sunshine. Following his new status, he will be transferred to a new hospital. This time around, it will be Kuala Trengganu. :(

I have written before on my intention to pursue post doc. One of the main reason is because I wanted to find a way in which I will be able to follow him. Tapi tiba-tiba, he got KT. That caught us offguard! KT was NEVER in our plans.

So, the big move will be next month. From then on, I will be conducting a one women show. With three boys pulak tu!! I need all the luck I can get. Thought of hiring a maid, tapi its too late lah nak hire one. I think I can handle it, inshaAllah. Just have to learn to take it easy.

Things are also working out work wise. I secured a grant and another one tu macam dapat positive response but no black and white so I cannot say anything la kan. I have 1 book chapter out, inshaAllah one edited book soon and a journal article. To be honest, I need to buck up on writing my papers. I have one up my sleeves and another one tu, baru nak mula research on the topic. On top of that, I berangan nak apply for FRGS but we'll see how it goes. If I dapat the other grant, maybe I can hold on dulu to my FRGS application.

Ok lah. Heading to the airport......Am so dreading July. :((

Pasal post doc

So, 2 unis replied.

1 said i can come anytime. :) The other didnt understand the concept of post doc and ingat haku nak apply for phd. hehe.

So now, i nak kena pikir betul-betul dan masak-masak.

I wished there is a way for me to do my post doc with prof.s. Must enquire.

mencari

esok will be exactly six month since i registered for work! And now, saya dah sibuk cari tempat untuk buat post doc.

Tapi, susahnyaaaa nak cari tempat!!!

Pertama, susah sebab saya nak buat dalam negara. Ternyata, masih kekurangan professor dalam bidang yang saya plan to specialise in!! *pening*

Ada satu, memang secocok dengan bidang saya, tetapi dari uni tempat saya bekerja juga. Unit latihan kata, majikan tak favour untuk kita buat post doc di tempat kerja. *nanges*

So far, I have enquired at 3 places. I have looked at other places tetapi memang tak ada tempat yang betul-betul sesuai dengan my bidang. Hmm..baru terfikir, post doc ni, seolah-olah sub-specialty for doctors or surgeons. Dan, not everywhere ada bidang yang kita interested in, which makes it difficult.

Kenapa sibuk nak cari tempat post doc? Sebab, I only have 3 years dari tarikh dapat phd to do it and also because hubs may be posted at somewhere in Malaysia, so I am looking at ways in which I will be able to follow him!

Doakan yang terbaik buat saya ya.

Allah knows whats best, kan?

penat

its so tiring, this juggling thing of working and taking care of the house. It feels like I am holding on to two seperate jobs with two seperate job description.

anyway, just did the laundry and washed the dishes. I am supposed to buat kerja sekarang, finish off my book chapter to be exact but I feel like updating my blog.

It has been 6 months since I came back. It has also been the longest time since I left Vienna. How has it been for me? Nak cakap senang, tak. Susah pon tak. I get by. Sometimes I feel like there's so many things I need to accomplish. Tapi at other times, I feel like, eh...whats the point of doing this.

Right now, I am in the midst of finishing a book chapter for Srikandi PhD, a book on women doing PhD. If you are currently pursuing PhD atau planning to do it, do buy the book when its out nanti, ok??

Lepas buat book chapter ni, I want to work on my post doc proposal. At first I thought of applying for frgs tetapi nanti if i go for post doc, i would have to pass it on to someone else pulak kan.

I am also planning to publish a book but that needs to be well planned. Am quite excited with this project.

Another thing in the pipeline is journal article for a niche research group. And lagi satu, an old friend called me u yesterday and asked if I would like to edit a magazine he is publishing. I, of course, jumped at the opportunity. Hmm,...which reminds me, I must really start writing for papers or something. I aim to have a column or something tapi cemana nak capai angan2 if tak buat apa apa kan??

what else?

cannot wait to balik vienna.

ok...must start doing work. I only have 15 minutes to spare before I go and fetch dani.

cuti semester

its the sem holidays so no classes this week. yeay!!!!

i finally sorted out all the papers in my room. threw a lot of things out.

have things to do but i feel like i deserve some time to relax sat. :)

btw, i still havent purchased my tickets to vienna. sigh. i know. i shouldnt leave it at the very last minute kan? Will do it soonest.

ok. nak pi school run.

headache

 i have been having this recurring headache for the past few days. Selalunya, I can tolerate it...i could still force myself to do work and etc but last night, the night i had to do my lecture notes and compile some documents for a meeting, the headache was so unbearable. on top of that, suami wasnt home because he went to fetch my IL and was supposed to sleep over at his sisters and head to work terus from there.

Lepas dah muntah, i texted him and told him about it. He said he will come home. But I told him not to, sebab by the time he will sampai rumah, it will be about 2am. But he did anyways. And he came back, and urut2 my head before falling asleep.

I feel so grateful to have him as my husband.

At times like this, he makes me feel really loved.

menjadi lecturer

semenjak memulakan tugas ni, memang tak menang tangan nak buat kerja.

hmm...i thought working to get my phd was tough enough, rupanya dunia pekerjaan adalah lebih mencabar. Sekarang ni, bila jadi lecturer, tugas kita bukan semata-mata bagi lecture, malah kena juga buat research, fight to get grants, publish articles, present at conferences. On top of that, you are also involved in multiple admin work, ie: kena jadi ajk itu ini, help out with program itu ini and etc. *lap peluh*

I have been so busy that there are hardly room for me to breathe! On top of that, there's the school run. My days are so loonnggg....it starts really early and ends really late. Yesterday I actually wondered if Dr Sunshine can survive if I wasnt around...if I yang kena oncall or pergi kursus. Why? Sebab basically, I yang uruskan anak pergi sekolah, pack their bags, iron their clothes, make sure their breakfasts are ready, that they wake up to mandi, do the laundry, make sure theres dinner on the table. Semalam dalam I rasa tak larat pon, I had to pull myself up cos nak kena iron Andi's school uniform cos Dr Sunshine sangat busy prepare presentation for today.

Hmm...kalau nak cakap pasal stress, I rasa I pon stress juga (cos Dr Sunshine semalam cakap jgn ganggu dia sbb dia stress nak prepare presentation). I have a lot of things which I kena accomplish at work and my 'work' doesnt end there, when I am home, I have more work to do!!!

Honestly, I never bring work home because I know I will never be able to do it. Dr Sunshine kadang2 heran and tanya, you tak de keja ke, bila tengok i rehat kejap (lepas sidai kain or basuh pinggan or mandikan anak2). I do. I memang banyak kerja cuma I choose not to bring work home. Bila nampak I seolah-olah tak ada kerja, then I guess dia rasa dia lebih busy dari I. :(

Hmm....I rasa orang yang jadi lecturer je yang faham how:

a. stressful it is to be asked to teach a subject that you are not familiar with. That means you'll have to study the subject really well...and on top of that kena prepare lecture notes pulak tu!!
b. we have to strive to get our articles published. Kalau tak kang tak cukup KPI pulak kan?
c. kita kena fight to dapat grants so that we can gerakkan our research. no grant, no research. no research, how to get datas for articles that we were supposed to publish???
d. endless admin stuff to do.
e. layan karenah pelajar....

jadi, jgn hairan if i tertidur while feeding aaron. tak payahlah komen yang i tidur cepat hari ni or hairan why i nmpk penat sangat. cos you dont know what i go through every single day. you think its very easy, but it is not.