bila masuk hospital di negara orang

kalau nak jadikan tajuk karangan darjah 6, i can bagi tajuk pengalaman yang saya tidak dapat lupakan.

after a long while, i was hospitalised (hospitalised sebab beranak tak kira).

i had penumonia and the infection was really really bad ditambah pulak dengan keadaan semulajadi yang chronic athma. the first round of antibiotik treatment didnt really work because i still had fever, even after a week being hospitalised. so they had to change the antibiotics and i had to wait for the treatment to finish, barulah boleh direlease keluar.

i was really really sick and i wasnt kidding.i guess i knew my body and i knew that this time, the sakit is different.

it all started with fever...which didnt get better even tho i was religiously popping pcm every 6 hours. 3 days later, i started having difficulty to breathe. masa tu, Tuhan je tahu how terseksa i was. imagine, kena jaga baby, tukar diaper, bagi makan, susu and etc, while you yourself nak bangun pon tak larat. but i had to do it.

pastu, on the fourth nite, i really couldnt breathe and called my auntie. she came..because in case i was brought to the hospy, at least dia ada to take care of AA. ambulance came, and said i was not that bad...gave me an injection and asked me to go to the doctors the next day.

so, my aunt brought me to the docs. masa tu, jalan pon seksa. i felt like ikan yang keluar dari air. i really found it difficult to breathe. susah sangat. the docs suh pi buat xray (at another place) and the xray person said that it was really really important that we showed the doc the xray right away. so, pegi balik klinik(ni la negara maju sangat!!! susah benar nak pi xray tempat lain, doctor tempat lain. i cried ok semasa berjalan because it was taking a toll on me. i really cried). at the clinic, doc kata keadaaan saya teruk and terus call ambulance. and ambulance brought me to the hospy...and the rest is history.

the person that i feel really guilty towards is Andi. i had to leave him with other people (my aunt tak reti jaga baby..so dia minta tolong kawan dia jagakan).andi was left with people he hardly know for 3 days, before my mom arrivedto take over. tu pon, my mom also stayed at the kind malaysian's house because i felt it was better than leaving her alone at my apartment.

as a result of my being hospitalised, Andi is now fully formula fed.:(

my mom and Dr Sunshine also plans to bring Andi back to Malaysia.

sigh. inilah pengalaman,kan? mcm2 cabaran nak dapatkan phd ni.

please doakan i will fully recover soon.i am still quite weak.

a lot of people thought that i wasnt really sick, tapi i was. at first mcm disappointed jugak cos i really needed emotional support from family and friends and wasnt really getting any. tapi tula..i guess people thought my sakit wasnt really serious.

what made my day was getting phone calls from dear Dr Sushine and eus almost every other day. :)

and what really really made me better was when dr sunshine walked into my room on tuesday. he suprised me. :)

ok...need to rest. i feel tired.

i m sick

i couldnt get up for a few days cos my body rasa berat semacam. i hv been living on pcm n ponstan for tha past 4 day.

ya Allah. pls give me the stregth. pls make me healthy again. i cry every night wishing for Dr Sunshine to come or my mother. its not easy.

please pray for my health.

p/s: couldnt go to doc becos misplaced my card. hv no energy to really cari for it.

p.ps: anyone has any idea how to stop aa suckling ALL through the nite? its really draining my energy.i evewn woke upbg mkn but after makan its bck to the boobies. i really really tak larat.

help.

conversations

dani when he was 1 plus

best sangat cakap dgn AD. hihi. he had so many things to tell. about school. he sang lagu satu tangan, cerita pasal pegi giant dgn along, read adam & dina through the phone, baca doa mkn, doa ibu bapa...

at times like this, i feel so blessed.

i love you Ahmad Dani.

mama selalu doakan supaya anak mama jadi seorang yang soleh, pandai, bijak, mendengar kata, sihat.

p/s: Dani is currently learning doa menaiki kenderaan in school. mama dia pon tak hafal doa ni...alaa..doa ibu bapa tu pon mek tak tahu. but it feels good to know your kid doakan for you every day in school, no?

haihh....its been two whole weeks of not doing anything. i feel so guilty. but i cant read or rather, i can but whatever i read tak masuk otak iniew. sigh. how? kena makan kismiskah?

i set myself a target, to finish up my audience study book by last week tapi itu jadi hanya mimpi u ols! yelah..dengan AA demamnye, nak buat makan-makannye, niat ittew terkubur begitu sahaja. i couldnt even meet my sv yesterday cos i really want AA to rest and sehat betol2 supaya bleh pi nursery on thursday.

anyway, i set myself a new target, to finish reading by sunday, becos i've got a meeting with sv on monday. and, thursday, nak pi library belajo nak dl articles from the elibrary (yes..sila ketuk kepalasaya sebab sampai skang tak belajar lagi!).

kena semangat ni!! caiyok caiyok!!

p/s: heran cemana i can finish a story book in 3 hours, paling lama pon 1 day, tapi kalu buku pelajaran..mak aiii...bertahun nak habis nieh!!!!

p.p/s: i really miss my Dr Sunshine at times like this.

p.p.p/s: i love the fact that Dani now likes to talk to me online or on the fon! best sgt dengar celoteh dia pasal sekolah (kawan botak, ada girl nangis masa pi skool) or family (haziq sakit, dvd rosak, makan kfc).

p.p.p.p/s: i think Along is the best auntie in the whole wide world. thank you for being like a mother to Dani, more than I ever could.

being a single parent

its not easy. at times i feel like shutting down tapi tak boleh. lazy to cook or do anything at all,but i can't cos i have a baby who depends on me.

this has been a very tiring week and its really taking a toll on me, both mentally and physically. letih u ols!!! i had so many things planned: masak, shopping (tetap dalam list taw!), finish up that book, tapi semuanya tergendala u ols!!! sebab apa? sebab anak saya demam dan begitu clingy sampai nak tidur pon kena tidur dalam dakapan (tapi tetap mama dia sempat nak blog even tho it means bf-ing AA while typing with 1 hand ....multitasking gittew)

i wish i had someone to pass the baby to when he's wailing his lungs out in the middle of the night and i have no idea what to do because i've tried out wahtever i know, n im already tired from everything.

i wish i had someone to tengokkan AA when i really really need to go to the loo but he won't let me cos he''ll start bawling when i put him down macam semalam (harap2 tak dapat batu karang u ols)

i wish there's someone who can help me with the house chores cos even tho i love doing laundry, tapi laundry dah menimbun memandangkan asyik tukar baju budak kecik yg dok muntah jerk... tapi dgn budak yg asyik nak duk bawah ketiak, susah nk buat laundry atau apa-apa sekalipon.

hmm...i knew it isnt easy. i chose this path kan...so nk tak nak, i have to face it. tapi penatttt....and i really really wish Dr Sunshine is here.

doakan anak mak cepat sembuh.

we had an appointment with the dietitian today. basically, we discussed (in bahaso german okeh) Andi's lactose intolerant problem.

It was really good, IMHO. she came prepared dengan print outs n segala mak nenek brochure of jenis2 food yang seswai for lactose intolerant baby. she even told me, kedai apa yg ada jual n etc. so helpful.

yang paling best, i now have a list of food dlm jar, pot, kotak, mengikut brand, yg tidak boleh andi makan. hmm...looks like i'd have to go grocery shopping esok. harini tak bawa andi to daycare cos mcm demam-ish. esok kena hantar cos i have lots of things to buy.

btw, am having a makan2 thingy this saturday. with the stove asyik fuse meletup, i decided to make spaghetti bolognese, salad with eggs n croutons and garlic bread. tu yg esok nk kena gak pi beli belah...need to get stuff for salad n buy garlic bread. :)

ciao.

sofast

dalam sekelip mata jer, andi is turning 1 year old. he'll be one on march 2nd. it felt just like yesterday that i was on that ambulance going to the hospy..hihi.

neway, at 11months plus andi:

- point to hidung(but always my hidung) when i say nose

- says dah, nak, mama, papa, bear, that, bye (sambil wave wave) and sometimes 'nein'

-geleng kepala when he doesn't want something

- can walk!

- likes to feed me his biscuits. (hmm...maybe i should let him try feed himself and explore? tapi i dread to think of the mess he would create)

- can pretend to talk on the phone

- can sometimes obey simple instruction (unless masa tgh nak bawak benda tu..tetiba distracted by another toy or something).

- loves the plug. i wonder why?carije peluang nak cabut plug from socket to no avail, thank god!

- drinks apple juice form the bottle juice and ONLY apple juice. letak air?? dia akan gigit2 je puting tu. susu? dia akan muntahkan balik isi kandungan. apple juice?? minum minum minum. hmm...adakah ini penangan haku yg suka apple juice masa pregnant? (come to think of it la kan, masa pregnant dani i loved plain water and dani mmg suka air kosong)

- likes to point at things and say "that". (prolly tiru mama dia yg suka point and say..look..whats that andi??)

- points to pictures in books and words sometimes mcm dia betul2 baca.oh...even gambar kat dallam tram pon dia point2 sambil pot pet macam explain kat mama dia something (i do that to him masa dia kecik to distract him from crying..hihi..now dia plak dok buat kat mama dia)

will add when i could think of more.

btw, today he decided that he wanted to walk in the tram dari depan sampai belakang. sigh.seb baik laaa tram hampir kosong cos i left my stroller begitu saja.