motivation please

i think the stress from meeting my sv last monday is far from over. as a result, i havent been doing anything productive and, have been splurging instead. not good for my pocket.

so, dengan harapan untuk memotivasikan diri, i requested for 2 phd related books.
1. 'How to Get A PhD: A Handbook for Students and Their Supervisors', by Phillips & Pugh.
2. The unwritten rules of PhD research

hopefully i would be back to normal by next week. sebab apa tau?sebab paper on malay identity tu dah berhabuk agaknye! ish.dahla tu, teroverlap plak dah my deadlines. hmm..or maybe esok cari journals for my next topic? hmmm...i really must get back to work because next week mak dah nak balik and then i have to adjust to being a single mom all over again.

how ek to get my mojo balik?

p/s: planning a trip to dublin is surely more fun right now than picking my brains to write that 5K paper.
p.p/s: made delicious roti john haritu! i will never buy roti john from param or palam again!

tak tahu nak cakap apa

i met my sv today. but.....he has yet to read the stuff i gave him 3 weeks ago. masa masuk bilik dia, i can clearly see the folder i gave him, terletak kat tempat he put it when i met him 3 weeks ago. *stress*

so, the only thing he could do was to sign a bunch of forms i gave him. but, he has yet to fill in my progress report. and since it was said to be confidential, dia kata dia akan post sendiri. haih...i hope he would remember to fill it up and postit.

you see, i never knew he was so busy. too busy kot. the thing is, i emailed him on friday to gently remind him of our meeting and that i would like to discuss the methods i proposed. i didnt get a reply. tapi, i pasrah je and pegi gak to the Sprachstunde. Waited patiently for my turn. and when my turn came, i was soooooooooooooooooooo dissapointed that i couldnt discuss anything with him. haih. i was hoping we could discuss my methodology so that i could go back with mak. but he said to meet him at the end of june, so there goes my plan.

harap2 when i meet him at the end of june, he has read the stuff i gave him. pastu, i tanye la dia, what would you advise me to do while i wait for you to read all the things i gave you. he said, i cannot advise you. right now, i am too busy. my head is not here, i cannot really think about this. terus mak FRUST! harap2 end of june his head is clearer lah kan.

and so, i am left with NO arah tuju what-so-ever. i am just going to continue with my self given assignments. this weeks assignment is a continuation of last weeks, the malay identity.

i am thinking of asking for a co-sv. tapi ada friends cakap it may not be a wise decision as takut ada conflict between the two. haih...cemana ni labu?

and so, because i was stress, i had some retail therapy. well, not my fault really cos the shorts i have aimed to get for my boys were half off, so harus beli.

dan, telah menggemukan diri dengan membeli caramel hot choc. i tell you, memang gemuk. *risau*

so, what should i do now? yg pasti, esok nak bawak mak pi tgk garden.

pastu, there might be a trip to dublin somewhere in between. :)

kalau ada banyak duit

hmm..i was talking to a friend last nite and she told me that she just bought a designer diaper bag for her baby. i guess, when you have lots to spare, you have the right to splurge, right? expensive and branded clothes for your kids, luxurious handbags for yourself and all that jazz. tetapi, yang saya pelik, kenapa, even with a lot of money to spare, her husband still pau duit laki aku bila keluar makan?

it got me thinking about myself. i mean, i have read countless blogs about young ladies being able to afford tas tangan pujaan hati ku. i have friends who owns those precious and yummy eye candy. i want to get one for myself cos god knows how i deserve it, but i always find myself refraining from buying one.

aside from because i haven't found the right one, i also always always think that there are other stuff which i should consider as my prioriy. tapi, kenapa bila beli pinggan mangkuk tak de plak nak pikir mahal n etc kan? err..maybe sebab tu untuk kegunaan keluarga kot, not just for myself.logik ke ek?

but, the good news is, since i didn't get a birthday prezie from Dr Sunshine last year, dia kata allocation untuk present tahun lepas boleh ditambah dengan allocation untuk tahun ni which equals to a nice nice present for me to choose. the thing is, i dont know what i should pick. i know that his allocation is meant for a handbeg, tapikan, ada gak perasaan di hati nak mintak dryer for our house. haih..so tak logik kan?

if you were me, what would you ask for?

bersalah

saya sangat malas minggu ini dan akibatnya, artikel yang sudah sepatutnya saya siapkan hari ini (the malay identity) tak siap-siap pon lagi *ketuk kepala sendiri*.

jadi, hari Isnin ini, saya hanya akan berkongsi artikel Malaysia's Broadcasting Scene dengan penyelia tersayang.

ok, tarikh ajal baru saya adalah Jumaat depan.

Esok nak pergi ambik susu yang Dr Sunshine poskan hampir 2 bulan lepas. Alhamdullillah, sampai juga akhirnya. Saya rasa macam nak tarik rambut je mengenangkan susu AA yang semakin hari semakin sedikit tetapi hari ini, saya boleh menarik nafas lega. :)

Esok juga, saya bercadang untuk membawa Mak menaiki 'cruise' di sepanjang Sungai Danube. Kalau tak pon, mungkin akan ke Tulln untuk melihat kebun bunga. Kalau tak pon, mungkin akan ke Tybah lagi sekali. ngeheheh...

notakaki: berjaya membuat mee kari buat kali pertama di dalam hidup!! lepas ni nak kena belajar buat soto pulak. dan kemudian, mee jawa. nasi lemak memang dah lulus. *angkat bakul sendiri*

Melayu

haih...saya rasa sedih apabila membaca banyak makalah tentang identiti Melayu.

Menurut Perlembagaan Malaysia:

"Malay" means a person who professes the religion of Islam, habitually speaks the Malay
language, conforms to Malay custom and....

Bila baca perkara di atas saya rasa sedih sebab tahu ada banyak Melayu yang tidak suka atau fasih berbahasa Melayu.

Selain itu, saya juga bersedih sebab perlembagaan juga menyatakan syarat untuk menjadi rakyat adalah tahu berbahasa Melayu tetapi masih ada juga rakyat yang langsung tidak boleh berbuat demikian. Dan lagi sedih, jangankan Bahasa Melayu, Bahasa Inggeris pon tidak tahu. Kalau macam ni, macam mana nak wujudkan rakyat yang bersatupadu?

Kemudian, rasa sedih juga sebab baca tentang bagaimana Melayu melayan kaum orang asli pada zaman dahulu kala. Walaupun ini hanyalah menurut pembacaan saya tentang kisah dari kaum Btsisi,saya tetap rasa sedih. Rasa macam dari dahulu, kaum kita sangatlah bertuah. Dapat segala macam kemudahan dan bantuan tetapi ramai yang masih tidak sedar tentang perkara itu. Tetapi kenapa ada diantara kita yang tidak bersyukur?

tybah yang yummylicious

hari ni, i dengan gigih bawak mak ke kedai makan yang perjalanannya memakan masa selama almost 1 hour to get there di samping terpaksa menaiki 3 modes of transportation (tram, train and bus).

woh..sungguh semangat okei i ni kalu bab-bab makan. tak percaya, cuba tanya che zuls. atau abe nik. atau geng projek.

anyway, the reason we ols semangat ke tybah is so makan the succulent spare ribs. sangat tidak menyesal. for 9.90euros, you get to experience an orgasmic gastronomic journey. my mom and i shared the meal as they serve really large portion. we are still trying to figure out how they marinated the yummylicious ribs, and so far cuma mengenalpasti garam and maybe honey. hih hih. oh, you also get wedges and salads on the side. my favourite dip out of the three which they gave has got to be the garlic yoghurt-ish dip. yummeehh..walaupon begitu, ribs tu memang sedap dimakan begitu saja.

haih...gambar yg telah diambil ntah cemana bleh ilang plak. tensi! terpaksa pergi lagi sekali!! *matila alasan!!

sedih

andi & mak

i feel sad because my mom, andi and i will be booking my moms flight home tomorrow. i really really wish that i could go home with her. :(