seminggu lagi....

lagi seminggu je tinggal for my elective ceaser. I must admit that I am so much more nervous this time around. Ironic, since it is going to be my third time.

Maybe I am more nervous due to the fact that I might have to tie my tubes. :( The obgyn did advise me to go through the BTL procedure tapi I am quite hessitant because I want to try for a girl pulak, InsyaAllah. Tapi....hmm...it all depends on the condition of my previous scar. If banyak adhesion, then might have to tie my tubes.

I have talked about it with Dr Sunshine and he said it might be better for me to tie it because of all the risks that I would face in the next pregnancy. Dia kata, if nak a girl, we can always adopt. Tapi, jauh disudut hati, i have this fear, which some of you might think to be quite ridiculous, if not being able to give him a girl would make him love me less. sigh. Now I know how those people yang have a hard time conceiving feels. I am without any doubt, so blessed to be able to have kids. But there's also this fear of not being able to have a girl in the future.

So u ols, please doakan that everything will go well. Please doakan yang my previous scars are ok and that I would have a s[eedy recovery.

I am going to pantang at my own house, like how I want it to be so feel free to come in visit, k?

If nak visit kat spital, I will be in spital slyg from 13june onwards. And, sedih ok, because 13june tu, i have to make my own way to the hospy sans husband. Haih...what to do.

Lagi satu, i nak minta maaf ek if ada salah dan silap.

And, to betina gatal tak sedar diri, please stop giving my husband presents b*tch!