i have been having this recurring headache for the past few days. Selalunya, I can tolerate it...i could still force myself to do work and etc but last night, the night i had to do my lecture notes and compile some documents for a meeting, the headache was so unbearable. on top of that, suami wasnt home because he went to fetch my IL and was supposed to sleep over at his sisters and head to work terus from there.
Lepas dah muntah, i texted him and told him about it. He said he will come home. But I told him not to, sebab by the time he will sampai rumah, it will be about 2am. But he did anyways. And he came back, and urut2 my head before falling asleep.
I feel so grateful to have him as my husband.
At times like this, he makes me feel really loved.
Monday, March 18, 2013
Wednesday, March 13, 2013
menjadi lecturer
semenjak memulakan tugas ni, memang tak menang tangan nak buat kerja.
hmm...i thought working to get my phd was tough enough, rupanya dunia pekerjaan adalah lebih mencabar. Sekarang ni, bila jadi lecturer, tugas kita bukan semata-mata bagi lecture, malah kena juga buat research, fight to get grants, publish articles, present at conferences. On top of that, you are also involved in multiple admin work, ie: kena jadi ajk itu ini, help out with program itu ini and etc. *lap peluh*
I have been so busy that there are hardly room for me to breathe! On top of that, there's the school run. My days are so loonnggg....it starts really early and ends really late. Yesterday I actually wondered if Dr Sunshine can survive if I wasnt around...if I yang kena oncall or pergi kursus. Why? Sebab basically, I yang uruskan anak pergi sekolah, pack their bags, iron their clothes, make sure their breakfasts are ready, that they wake up to mandi, do the laundry, make sure theres dinner on the table. Semalam dalam I rasa tak larat pon, I had to pull myself up cos nak kena iron Andi's school uniform cos Dr Sunshine sangat busy prepare presentation for today.
Hmm...kalau nak cakap pasal stress, I rasa I pon stress juga (cos Dr Sunshine semalam cakap jgn ganggu dia sbb dia stress nak prepare presentation). I have a lot of things which I kena accomplish at work and my 'work' doesnt end there, when I am home, I have more work to do!!!
Honestly, I never bring work home because I know I will never be able to do it. Dr Sunshine kadang2 heran and tanya, you tak de keja ke, bila tengok i rehat kejap (lepas sidai kain or basuh pinggan or mandikan anak2). I do. I memang banyak kerja cuma I choose not to bring work home. Bila nampak I seolah-olah tak ada kerja, then I guess dia rasa dia lebih busy dari I. :(
Hmm....I rasa orang yang jadi lecturer je yang faham how:
a. stressful it is to be asked to teach a subject that you are not familiar with. That means you'll have to study the subject really well...and on top of that kena prepare lecture notes pulak tu!!
b. we have to strive to get our articles published. Kalau tak kang tak cukup KPI pulak kan?
c. kita kena fight to dapat grants so that we can gerakkan our research. no grant, no research. no research, how to get datas for articles that we were supposed to publish???
d. endless admin stuff to do.
e. layan karenah pelajar....
jadi, jgn hairan if i tertidur while feeding aaron. tak payahlah komen yang i tidur cepat hari ni or hairan why i nmpk penat sangat. cos you dont know what i go through every single day. you think its very easy, but it is not.
hmm...i thought working to get my phd was tough enough, rupanya dunia pekerjaan adalah lebih mencabar. Sekarang ni, bila jadi lecturer, tugas kita bukan semata-mata bagi lecture, malah kena juga buat research, fight to get grants, publish articles, present at conferences. On top of that, you are also involved in multiple admin work, ie: kena jadi ajk itu ini, help out with program itu ini and etc. *lap peluh*
I have been so busy that there are hardly room for me to breathe! On top of that, there's the school run. My days are so loonnggg....it starts really early and ends really late. Yesterday I actually wondered if Dr Sunshine can survive if I wasnt around...if I yang kena oncall or pergi kursus. Why? Sebab basically, I yang uruskan anak pergi sekolah, pack their bags, iron their clothes, make sure their breakfasts are ready, that they wake up to mandi, do the laundry, make sure theres dinner on the table. Semalam dalam I rasa tak larat pon, I had to pull myself up cos nak kena iron Andi's school uniform cos Dr Sunshine sangat busy prepare presentation for today.
Hmm...kalau nak cakap pasal stress, I rasa I pon stress juga (cos Dr Sunshine semalam cakap jgn ganggu dia sbb dia stress nak prepare presentation). I have a lot of things which I kena accomplish at work and my 'work' doesnt end there, when I am home, I have more work to do!!!
Honestly, I never bring work home because I know I will never be able to do it. Dr Sunshine kadang2 heran and tanya, you tak de keja ke, bila tengok i rehat kejap (lepas sidai kain or basuh pinggan or mandikan anak2). I do. I memang banyak kerja cuma I choose not to bring work home. Bila nampak I seolah-olah tak ada kerja, then I guess dia rasa dia lebih busy dari I. :(
Hmm....I rasa orang yang jadi lecturer je yang faham how:
a. stressful it is to be asked to teach a subject that you are not familiar with. That means you'll have to study the subject really well...and on top of that kena prepare lecture notes pulak tu!!
b. we have to strive to get our articles published. Kalau tak kang tak cukup KPI pulak kan?
c. kita kena fight to dapat grants so that we can gerakkan our research. no grant, no research. no research, how to get datas for articles that we were supposed to publish???
d. endless admin stuff to do.
e. layan karenah pelajar....
jadi, jgn hairan if i tertidur while feeding aaron. tak payahlah komen yang i tidur cepat hari ni or hairan why i nmpk penat sangat. cos you dont know what i go through every single day. you think its very easy, but it is not.
Thursday, February 14, 2013
no time!!!
i think there are just too many things to accomplish in a day but masa memang selalu jealous dengan i.
Anyway...good news first. The book I contributed a chapter to is out!!!! :) silalah beli ye.
Ok....so, some of the things I am supposed to buat are:
1. chapter for wanitaundphd. due March 13
2. journal article due March 15
3. lecture notes due feb 18
4. abstract for another journal article
5. cari conference!! Must attend at least one this year.
6. suitable articles for postgrad class.
I have drafted out what I plan to write for the journal article due on March 15th but I need to do some readings to update myself with the issue. So, dah jumpa dah pon article but I am the kind who prefers to read articles on paper rather than on screen sebab on paper boleh conteng dan garis dan etc while it would be difficult to do just that on screen. Masa cari articles tu, tetiba terkenangkan masa cari articles for my phd dulu....that was not too long ago. Baru ingat boleh relaks lepas PhD tetapi apakan daya uolssssssss. My faculty requires its lecturers to produce at least 4 journal articles in a year. Honestly, I tak tahu if it is achievable. Bukan senang ok nak publish in a journal. I know of some people yang bonceng aje on other people's article. So far, untuk 2013, publications that are in the pipeline includes:
1.jpacjournal
2. book chapter WnP
3. book chapter from my department, yang i tak tahu if jadi or not nak publish!
4. book on penulis skrip...ni baru ada orang ajak i tulis.
I need moreeeeeeeeeeeeeeee journal articles. *stress*
Anyway, I also need to study in order to prepare my lecture notes so I shall spend tomorrow drafting what I plan to teach.
oklah...nk cari conference sat.
Anyway...good news first. The book I contributed a chapter to is out!!!! :) silalah beli ye.
Ok....so, some of the things I am supposed to buat are:
2. journal article due March 15
3. lecture notes due feb 18
4. abstract for another journal article
5. cari conference!! Must attend at least one this year.
6. suitable articles for postgrad class.
I have drafted out what I plan to write for the journal article due on March 15th but I need to do some readings to update myself with the issue. So, dah jumpa dah pon article but I am the kind who prefers to read articles on paper rather than on screen sebab on paper boleh conteng dan garis dan etc while it would be difficult to do just that on screen. Masa cari articles tu, tetiba terkenangkan masa cari articles for my phd dulu....that was not too long ago. Baru ingat boleh relaks lepas PhD tetapi apakan daya uolssssssss. My faculty requires its lecturers to produce at least 4 journal articles in a year. Honestly, I tak tahu if it is achievable. Bukan senang ok nak publish in a journal. I know of some people yang bonceng aje on other people's article. So far, untuk 2013, publications that are in the pipeline includes:
1.jpacjournal
2. book chapter WnP
3. book chapter from my department, yang i tak tahu if jadi or not nak publish!
4. book on penulis skrip...ni baru ada orang ajak i tulis.
I need moreeeeeeeeeeeeeeee journal articles. *stress*
Anyway, I also need to study in order to prepare my lecture notes so I shall spend tomorrow drafting what I plan to teach.
oklah...nk cari conference sat.
Wednesday, February 6, 2013
marketing myself
I attended an almost 2 weeks course baru-baru ni. Some of the modules are boring with a capital B tapi ada juga yang membuka mata i.
Lemme share with you what I think is important.
1. Find a mentor who can guide you and open doors for you. This person should be someone who publishes a lot of article dah banyak buat research and renown in your field.
2. Never say no. Bila orang bagi you kerja/ jawatan/ anything, don't say know. Cakap ya je, even though you are not familiar with what you were asked to do. You can always learn. When you say yes, you open up a lot of opportunities for yourself.
3. Chart your path as an academician. Set targets which are feasable. Bila nak jadi PM? Bila nak jadi Prof?
4. Allocate some time for you to write, everyday. NEVER cakap I am not in the mood, or idea tak ada and etc. Just sit and write. 300 words sehari pon jadilah. Yang penting, tulis. I plan to allocate my mornings for writing. Prof tu kata, 2 jam pon cukup. So, maybe I can allocate from 8 to 10 for writing purposes.
5. Must read new articles and keep abreast with developments in my research field. Baca at least 1 article a day. That way, I will have read at least 365 articles a year and that is quite a lot, kan? So maybe petang while waiting to fetch Dani would be a suitable time to do my readings.
6. 1 good PhD student is worth more than having 10 phd students. So yang penting is quality and not quantity
7. AIm to send paper at journals yang ada quality. Again, the concept of quality and not quantity applies here.
8. Market yourself. Write in to journals and volunteer to be a reviewer. Jangan segan or wait for people to invite you. After a few years of consistantly reviewing one journal, you will usually be invited to be part of the editorial board.
Ok....
Anyway, since I dah gung ho, I actually found the kriteria for PM's application. Now that I have sent my 51 and still waiting for the interview, I can start crossing off some things on the PM criteria list.
Come on uols. We can do this!!!!
Lemme share with you what I think is important.
1. Find a mentor who can guide you and open doors for you. This person should be someone who publishes a lot of article dah banyak buat research and renown in your field.
2. Never say no. Bila orang bagi you kerja/ jawatan/ anything, don't say know. Cakap ya je, even though you are not familiar with what you were asked to do. You can always learn. When you say yes, you open up a lot of opportunities for yourself.
3. Chart your path as an academician. Set targets which are feasable. Bila nak jadi PM? Bila nak jadi Prof?
4. Allocate some time for you to write, everyday. NEVER cakap I am not in the mood, or idea tak ada and etc. Just sit and write. 300 words sehari pon jadilah. Yang penting, tulis. I plan to allocate my mornings for writing. Prof tu kata, 2 jam pon cukup. So, maybe I can allocate from 8 to 10 for writing purposes.
5. Must read new articles and keep abreast with developments in my research field. Baca at least 1 article a day. That way, I will have read at least 365 articles a year and that is quite a lot, kan? So maybe petang while waiting to fetch Dani would be a suitable time to do my readings.
6. 1 good PhD student is worth more than having 10 phd students. So yang penting is quality and not quantity
7. AIm to send paper at journals yang ada quality. Again, the concept of quality and not quantity applies here.
8. Market yourself. Write in to journals and volunteer to be a reviewer. Jangan segan or wait for people to invite you. After a few years of consistantly reviewing one journal, you will usually be invited to be part of the editorial board.
Ok....
Anyway, since I dah gung ho, I actually found the kriteria for PM's application. Now that I have sent my 51 and still waiting for the interview, I can start crossing off some things on the PM criteria list.
Come on uols. We can do this!!!!
Friday, January 11, 2013
pasal rumah pulak
so we have keluarkan our kwsp, again, to help fund our house project.
so far, we used the money we saved (from not having to pay the monthly loan) to buy pots and plants, side table, coffee table and custom made a shoe rack thingy!!!! that, is by far the most exciting thing. hehehe.
Next project will be buying pinggan mangkuk, fork and spoon, cuttlery crockery stuff.
If ada duit lebih nak buat the glass door in our bathroom.
pastu nak buat pantry, inshaAllah.
and buy some appliances like tv for downstairs, sofa, toaster, dryer.
tengoklah ye if duit cukup.
oh oh...i also framed some of the paintings i bought. me likey!!!!!
nanti i tunjuk gambar yek... :)
so far, we used the money we saved (from not having to pay the monthly loan) to buy pots and plants, side table, coffee table and custom made a shoe rack thingy!!!! that, is by far the most exciting thing. hehehe.
Next project will be buying pinggan mangkuk, fork and spoon, cuttlery crockery stuff.
If ada duit lebih nak buat the glass door in our bathroom.
pastu nak buat pantry, inshaAllah.
and buy some appliances like tv for downstairs, sofa, toaster, dryer.
tengoklah ye if duit cukup.
oh oh...i also framed some of the paintings i bought. me likey!!!!!
nanti i tunjuk gambar yek... :)
Thursday, January 10, 2013
smart soleh
You know, it took me forever to find a kindy for Andi. With Dani, it was easily decided that we would send him to GA. We wanted to send Andi to GA as well but they did not have any centres in BSP. Plus, last year, I was still hoping that he would be placed in my uni's kindy.
So, after searching high and low, I decided to send him to Smart Soleh Islamic Intergrated Kindy.
What made me decide on the school?
Let me tell you, I went to so many kindies in my search for the right kindy. Dari Islamic montessori, Islamic kindy to Integrated kindy. Macam-macam ada di pasaran skarang. I didn't look at kindergarden macam Qdees or Smart Reader because my nephew and niece went to both and both did not place any importance on religious studies. We, Dr Sunshine and I, have earlier on decided that we would send our boys to an Islamic based kindy.
Anyway, like I said, there are so many kindy available sekarang in terms of Islamic based punya. So, it all boils down to what you look for in a kindy.
I wanted a kindy yang nampak cantik, good facilities, nice teachers, great silibus.
Smart Soleh ni, shortlisted sebab I like the fact that they conduct solat dhuha and yassin recitals on Fridays and there's practical solat everyday. Also, they have a show and tell session on Fridays whereby each student will go up on a small stage to talk about some thing. I think that is great to instill confidence in a child. Pasal reading tu, memang sama je la dgn other kindy I suppose cos they conduct it on one on one basis.
Tapi, there us something else that I particularly like about Smart Soleh. I like the fact that Andi brings home something from school every day. Hari tu, terkejut I bila dia balik and cakap dia buat origami. I thought it was such a big word for him to use. hehe. But yes...my fridge is now filled with his art work dari colouring to collages. So much so, Dr Sunshine kata kena beli file to put his art work since dah banyak sangat. heheheh. Macam Dani dulu. he doesnt bring back his art work. Selalu tengok masa dah end of term masa report card day.
And...I love the fact that school starts from 8 to 12. Rasa berbaloi la sikit bayar 240 per month tu. And, sometimes, they feed him twice, sekali masa morning break and sekali masa tunggu mak cik ambil from school.
And, Andi loooovvvvveeessss school. He talks a lot about it. Buat exercise la, nyanyi la, baca doa la. Hari tu nak masuk rumah, he alerted Papa...nak masuk kena masuk dengan kaki kanan sebab teacher kata.
oklah....
next week cerita pasal dani pulak. Registered him for kafa. lets see if it will be good for him.
So, after searching high and low, I decided to send him to Smart Soleh Islamic Intergrated Kindy.
What made me decide on the school?
Let me tell you, I went to so many kindies in my search for the right kindy. Dari Islamic montessori, Islamic kindy to Integrated kindy. Macam-macam ada di pasaran skarang. I didn't look at kindergarden macam Qdees or Smart Reader because my nephew and niece went to both and both did not place any importance on religious studies. We, Dr Sunshine and I, have earlier on decided that we would send our boys to an Islamic based kindy.
Anyway, like I said, there are so many kindy available sekarang in terms of Islamic based punya. So, it all boils down to what you look for in a kindy.
I wanted a kindy yang nampak cantik, good facilities, nice teachers, great silibus.
Smart Soleh ni, shortlisted sebab I like the fact that they conduct solat dhuha and yassin recitals on Fridays and there's practical solat everyday. Also, they have a show and tell session on Fridays whereby each student will go up on a small stage to talk about some thing. I think that is great to instill confidence in a child. Pasal reading tu, memang sama je la dgn other kindy I suppose cos they conduct it on one on one basis.
Tapi, there us something else that I particularly like about Smart Soleh. I like the fact that Andi brings home something from school every day. Hari tu, terkejut I bila dia balik and cakap dia buat origami. I thought it was such a big word for him to use. hehe. But yes...my fridge is now filled with his art work dari colouring to collages. So much so, Dr Sunshine kata kena beli file to put his art work since dah banyak sangat. heheheh. Macam Dani dulu. he doesnt bring back his art work. Selalu tengok masa dah end of term masa report card day.
And...I love the fact that school starts from 8 to 12. Rasa berbaloi la sikit bayar 240 per month tu. And, sometimes, they feed him twice, sekali masa morning break and sekali masa tunggu mak cik ambil from school.
And, Andi loooovvvvveeessss school. He talks a lot about it. Buat exercise la, nyanyi la, baca doa la. Hari tu nak masuk rumah, he alerted Papa...nak masuk kena masuk dengan kaki kanan sebab teacher kata.
oklah....
next week cerita pasal dani pulak. Registered him for kafa. lets see if it will be good for him.
Wednesday, January 2, 2013
first day of school
AD's first day of school!!!!
I survived his first day. Tapi belum apa-apa dah hilang 2 batang colour pencil ok. Geram ai. I cld sense the boy he was sitting with tu sesuatu. Sebab masuk2 kelas jer, terus keluarkan colour pencils dia yang 36 batang tu ala-ala show off.
Tapi,....bila dah lepas rehat, teacher suruh buat colouring, jadi kedekut pulak and tak bawa keluar colour pencil dia and took AD's instead!!!! *geram* Nasib baik I marked the colour pencil already. So I told AD to ask for his colours back. If tht boy tak bagi, sila bagitahu teacher.Hmph.
Then, there was the incident ambil from school. AD was not at the place we have earlier agreed on. Orang semua dah balik ok. Tinggal sikit2 je orang. I panik and went to the canteen to look for him. Non ado. Naik kelas, tak de gak. Walked back to the place and saw him running towards the papa. Rupa-rupanya he got lost on the way nak pergi tempat tunggu tu. And, papa (who was waiting in the car) came because he called Papa since tak de orang tunggu dia. Thank god my boy pandai!!! Alhamdullillah.
His orientation will be till the 18th. 23 baru start bawa buku ikut jadual.
Ittew saja laporan ai!
I survived his first day. Tapi belum apa-apa dah hilang 2 batang colour pencil ok. Geram ai. I cld sense the boy he was sitting with tu sesuatu. Sebab masuk2 kelas jer, terus keluarkan colour pencils dia yang 36 batang tu ala-ala show off.
Tapi,....bila dah lepas rehat, teacher suruh buat colouring, jadi kedekut pulak and tak bawa keluar colour pencil dia and took AD's instead!!!! *geram* Nasib baik I marked the colour pencil already. So I told AD to ask for his colours back. If tht boy tak bagi, sila bagitahu teacher.Hmph.
Then, there was the incident ambil from school. AD was not at the place we have earlier agreed on. Orang semua dah balik ok. Tinggal sikit2 je orang. I panik and went to the canteen to look for him. Non ado. Naik kelas, tak de gak. Walked back to the place and saw him running towards the papa. Rupa-rupanya he got lost on the way nak pergi tempat tunggu tu. And, papa (who was waiting in the car) came because he called Papa since tak de orang tunggu dia. Thank god my boy pandai!!! Alhamdullillah.
His orientation will be till the 18th. 23 baru start bawa buku ikut jadual.
Ittew saja laporan ai!
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