bila sakit

Two nights ago, I woke up at about 3am because I was experiencing stomach cramps. It comes and goes and really felt like contraction pain. Mungkin ia adalah Braxton Hicks. Anyway, it was so painful that I couldn't sleep.

Jadi, saya telefon Dr Sunshine untuk mengadu & dan dan tu jugaklah menangis sambil mengadu tu. haih. Tapi betul sakit uols!!!! Lepas mengadu dan sambil-sambil Dr Sunshine cuba memujuk saya dan tried to calm me down on the phone, I said goodbye and cried myself to sleep. Masa tu, rasa sedih sangat sebab pregnant sorang-sorang. Tak de sapa nak urut-urut belakang. No tangan for me to bite or squeeze when I am in pain. It was just me, baby, and God. *feeling-feeling ala-ala Mariam*

Tula...dok gatal baca blog orang lain yang pregnant. Bila baca, rasa mcm bestnyaaaaa bila pregnant dengan suami di sisi: suami tolong massagelah, tolong masak dan manja-manjakan dorang, belikan makanan and layan their cravings. Jealous? Of course la ada terasa juga. Yela, siapa tak nak pregnant dengan husband di sisi?? Tapi, ai tabahkan aje hati. Cuma 2 nights ago tu, I tak tahan sangat. Yela...sakit. And it was 3am. I was worried about the baby. And, I had no one with me. :(

It is not easy being pregnant and away from family. Tapi nothing ever is kan?

Jadi, if you are one of those lucky ones to be pregnant with your husband by your side, sila bersyukur - even when your husband berdengkur je tidur bila u kejut dia banyak kali sebab sakit belakang/ tak le tido/ Braxton Hicks. Dan, sila appreciate apa yang suami buat untuk anda, even benda tu nampak macam kecik je and something that is assumed as memang patut dia buat pon (like basuh pinggan). Sebab at the end of the day, you still have him by your side. Biarlah dia tengah berdengkur pon, you can still sondol-sondol and tidur bawah ketiak dia or take his arms (secara paksarela) and wrap it around yourself.

I miss my husband.

Pengajaran

I learnt my lesson the hard way today.

1. Sila buat backup banyak-banyak. You see, I always email myself whatever I have written dengan harapan it will always be in my emails la kan. And that I can access it anywhere yg ada internet and also avoid me from using my USB sebab takut nanti kena virus plak lappie kat rumah. Rupanya, taktik yg I amalkan tak jadi uols!!!!!!! I lost 2 chapters I have written and I feel like crying!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! tsk tsk tsk tsk tsk tsk tsk. How dare you gmail! I hate you for simply deleting my saved emails!! I just hope I have a printed copy of the chapter stashed somewhere at home. Keyword: HOPE. I searched my thumbdrive but there seem to be no trace of the chapter in it. Balik nanti nak kena search lappie and also external drive. Kalau tak, terpaksalaaaaaaaaa menulis lagi sekali. *nanges*

2. Bila menulis, sila catatkan references yang digunakan. Nasib baik la at the age of technology ni, senang sikit nak cari info that I needed through the internet. Kalau tak de? Mahu laaa I nangis lagi sekali dek nak kena cari the books and articles manually. Jadi, kena ambik iktibar untuk chapter-chapter seterusnya.

Nasib baiklaaaaaa I memang plan pon nak revamp chapter 1. Tapi nak revamp pon, tetapla i need to see what I wrote before kan? kan? betul tak?

I nak kena berdoa banyak-banyak ni supaya my email would secara miracle akan appear balik (read about it happening to some people) and that I can find the printed copy, at least. Also, nak kena doa supaya inspirasi dan idea untuk menulis datang mencurah-curah.

Oh. Sedih!

macam sibuk

Hari ni, rasa rindu sangat dgn the boys, especially AA and AD. It has been weeks since I last skyped with them (1 whole misarable week of not hearing AA cakap hai mama, hai babe ... ini kes ajuk papa dia cakap, not listening to AD cerita about school and what he did). Dr Sunshine has been busy with kenduri kawen kawan dia, pastu OC (on days that I dont have classes) and me with my erratic class schedule! The time difference does not help at all because by the time I am home, my babies would be asleep, so I can only look at them sleeping through web cam. tsk.

Sigh.

Rindunyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.

I wish that I am now on the same bed as they are walaupun harus berhimpit-himpit kat atas katil queen ittew.

I still have yet to purchase my ticket. Esok Dr Sunshine OC lagi. I know. again! Perluke EOD??? Dahlah tu, ai memang tak de kelas pulak tu esok. tsk. Friday, dia locum and I have class till 8pm. Saturday ajela peluang ai untuk berborak dengan the boys.

sob sob.

Only about 9.5 more weeks. Haih....cepatlah masa beredar. I wanna go home. Err..tapi kerja tak siap lagi. *nanges*

Hmm...I guess inilah derita merindu, kan??

p/s: suka tengok when Dr Sunshine's face lit up when he thought I was going to balik awal. But then, dia juga menyarankan supaya ai menyiapkan segala mala kerja. :(

topi bekerja

Since Dr Sunshine is on called today, I didn't feel the need to rush home at 1pm to skype with the boys. So, I decided to spend my time at the uni computer lab to do some work.

I was soooooooooooo super duper lazy yesterday. I had the glucose tolerance test (in which they gave me lemonade yang masam, which was a sweet suprise for me cos I was expecting that sickeningly sweet concotion yang i pernah minum at Klinik Kesihatan) in the morning. That took almost 3 hours. After that, I went to Kartner to qatar's hq, had nordsee for lunch, bought my lotion (trying a new brand!) and decided that I really should go to uni and do some work.

So, to Uni I went. But I felt so lethargic I tell you! Macam penat semacam. Maybe it is because of the glucose test? I don't know but what I am sure of was, I didn't get anything done. :(

So today, I was determined that I MUST get something done (tambah-tambah Dr Sunshine oncall kan). So, I goreng nasi in the morning to bawa to uni as bekal (semangat punya pasal!!) and manage to stay there till evening. Petang tu, I went to Starbucks dengan niat nak baca some materials but I couldn't concentrate. And soon, dah rasa sakit kepala. So I pon balik. Maybe my brain is too tired lah.

Apa pon, I am almost done with my qualitative research assignment. I still have to add some stuff, tapi tak banyaklah. Lepas tu, I can proof read and edit, and submit the paper! I hope I can get a feedback by next month so that I can improve on it and use it for my methods chapter. As it is, I am writing it with the intention to use it for my methods chapter pon. hihi. That was what the lecturer told us in class. "Write whatever you want...anything related to qualitative methodolody. You can even write the chapter you plan to use for your disertation." So, since my SV hardly has the time to read whatever I have written, I think its good to get another lecturer's perspective and input, kan? The deadline that I gave myself to finish the paper is April 1st, but looking at the rate I am going, I am pushing the deadline to 19March.

Lepas tu, I must prepare for a presentation. And then, nak kena buat in-depth interview for the group assignment. Pastu study for exam.Pastu kena buat chai tea assignment. Pastu the globalisation assignment.

Dalam masa yang sama, I also target to finish my theoretical framework chapter by May 1st.

I really really want to have 3 chapters done before I beranak. I hope I will manage to do so, InsyaAllah.

pasal nak book tiket

You see, I always fly with Qatarair, because their rates are very competitive. But tadi, when I compared their rate to k.lm, the latter is cheaper.

Pastu, tergerak di hati nak compare pulak, when would be the last week that they would allow me to board a flight. Q kata, 32 weeks would be the last week with a doctors letter, if between 33 and 35 weeks, kena go through some panel doctor and etc. Pendek kata, leceh and theyols pon suggest better fly before 32 weeks untuk mengelakkan daripada kecewa tetiba tak bleh naik flight. So, tadi, I dah senyum-senyum dah memikirkan prospek nak balik cepat (in approximately 5 weeks y'all!).

Tapi, bila I balik rumah, I cek jadual kelas. And if I balik awal, I would miss a few topics which are very very very interesting to me and which I think can be used for my research. *geek mode* Hmm..tiba-tiba terasa sayang pulak la nak balik cepat dan miss kelas menarik kan? Jadi, I tried my luck dan email klm plak. Malangnya, the local ticketing office adalah sangat hampeh dan memberi jawapan based on what I can find online saja! I nak details, faham tak???? So, I did the next best thing. I cari dia punya fb page. And lo and behold, terus dapat answer within minutes!!!!

So, I guess I would be going back on my 35th week after all. That is approximately 10 weeks from now. Cannot wait.

And now, I nak cari tiket. hi hi.

Eiii....excitednya!!!!!!!!!!!!

my imam kecik

AD had a school trip to tbg hj yesterday. He was excited about it, yelah, kan boleh naik bas! hehe.

So, I called him today to ask about the trip and he told me that he was picked to be the Imam for solaz dzuhur berjemaah at the masjid! :) I am so proud of my boy! He's only 4 and one of the youngest in his 5-year-old class tapi he was selected!!! I know that its probably just role play or something tapi I am still so proud of him!!! I know that he was pleased as well...hehe.

So I asked him, AD solat apa? Dia kata solat dzuhur. My mom pulak tanya dia, solat dzhur berapa rakaat? Dia kata 4. Pastu my mom tanya, AD buat cemana? Dia kata, baca semua senyap je...cuma Fatihah baca kuat-kuat. hehe. Lepas solat ada doa tak? Terus anak teruna ai tu baca doa lepas solat. OMG. I didn't even know he knew doa lepas solat!!!

Syukur sangat that we decided to send him to that Kindy. Yelah. mama dia pon, tak pass doa lepas makan and doa naik kenderaan okeh. *tutup muka* At least kat sana dapatlah dia belajar these things. :) I hope it would build a great foundation for his future, InsyaAllah. And, I really really hope and pray that his adiks would follow suit.

Speaking about the future, I once told my mom of my intention to send AD to SRA masa standard 1 nanti. Rupa-rupanya, dia dah discuss benda ni dgn ustazah yang ajar AD Iqra' every Friday. So, Ustazah tu kata, nak masuk very competitive. I knew that there is an entrance exam but according to the Ustazah, they take students yang score 90% ke atas. Takpe, if ada rezeki, boleh masuk, kan?

Tapi, my mom plak yang excited! Siap tanya ustazah, ada buat tuition bahasa Arab tak?? Ustazah tu kata dia tak ajar, but she knows someone. And from what I can gather from the way my mom told me, dia macam ala-ala nak suruh ai hantar anak teruna I tu tuition bahasa arab plak. wakakakakak. I tell you. Grandparents sokmo excited kan!! hahahah...I think AD is too young lah. Tapi mak dok kata, nanti nak buat exam tu, mestilah dah belajar sikit-sikit, if not how to buat. Ayyooooo!!!! *pening kejap*

p/s: another highlight of his trip was that he met a tok kadi!!! heheheh...he was SO excited.

ramblings

haih.

1. dalam sibuk-sibuk remind Dr Sunshine untuk settle samannya, ai terlupa yang ai juga ada kena saman!! oppsss. *pekup mulut*

anyway, tu pon boleh teringat sebab nak renew road tax kereta i, yang due bulan ini. Oh, cannot believe Elena is 6!!!!

ok.

2. Dr Sunshine is going for a trip up north today for a friend's wedding. I hope AA won't be moody because this means that he will not be sleeping with his papa for 2 nights in a row. Tapi the papa dah bagitahu dia, to which he replied: ok. ok. a ah. wakakakak...

i wish that i am going with him.

3. on the bright side, there is a makan-makan thingy this saturday and the featured menu is nasi lemak and mee kari! YUMMYYY. I feel so thankful to be invited to this makan-makan. At least, dapat gaklah satisfy my cravings. :) Dah lama tak makan nasi. Yes, I hardly eat rice nowadays.

4. plan for tomorrow ialah to edit my paper at starbucks and do my readings for the class tomorrow. dah baca tu, sila tulis nota sekali ye! sebabnya, exam awak is only 1 month away. *yikes*

5. oh...and did i tell you how lucky i felt? you see, one of the paper i am taking, exam dia adalah 22june. tapi disebabkan sistem pembelajaran kat sini yang unik, they provide 3 sittings for the exam. So, there will be an option for me to do it in October, or January. Best kan? Cuma yang tak best, takut dah lupa benda yang dipelajari. Oh, but must not forget to ask the other lecturer (for a different subject) if she provide several sittings for her exam as well.

6. And, out of the 6 papers I am taking this sem, 3 are exam based. I am kind of glad because that means less assignments, and more time for me to write me thesis. Tapi kawan i cakap, lagi best if kena tulis paper dari buat assignment. hrm...i pon tak tahulah. But frankly for me at this moment, doing an exam is a better option kot. Sebab kalau nak kena tulis paper, cuba imagine nak kena tulis minimum 6 papers dalam dengan persediaan nak beranak (tu pon if satu subjek satu paper..tapi usually 1 subjek will require 2 papers).Cuma, mak dah lama tak study bagai untuk exam uols!!! *nervous* Harus diberitahu, I intend to finish writing my papers before I go back, supaya boleh beranak dengan senang hati. Hopefully, niat ai suci murni ini akan termakbul.

7. Oh, skarang ni, ai tengah dalam percubaan memantapkan my methods chapter. Sebab apa? Sebab nak hantar untuk my qualititavemethods subject. Sambil menyelam minum air. Sesambil siapkan untuk assignment, ai nak guna gak utk thesis ai.ok tak?? Kalau ikut deadline yang diberi untuk diri sendiri, i must finish it by April 1st. Tapi harap2 boleh finish earlier, supaya can get a head start on my other assignments and study for the exam! *geek mode*

8. Kalau tiada aral melintang, I hope to be able to finish my theoretical framework chapter by may 1st, InsyaAllah. I can do this!!!!